His headaches have become somewhat chronic. The rest of us have bad stomachs, and he's not complaining of that.
The funny thing was that as I read the MacArthur speech, I realized what was happening. He was getting one of his what MacArthur refers to as "BHNs" met. BHN = Basic Human Need.
Along with writing on our children's blackboards, MacArthur states, "The best place to address basic human needs is in the family. Children believe what they hear and learn in the family--whether it be for good or not. You as parents have a lot of power. Use it carefully."
Magic AND power.
He goes on to say, "A BHN...is something a human being MUST have to grow and develop and be emotionally healthy."
MacArthur mentions four basic human needs:
- The need to feel: Significant, Important, Worthwhile, and Valuable
The principle here, according to MacArthur, is "you know human beings want to feel important, significant, worthwhile and valuable--and you consciously and intentionally find ways to help them feel that way."
|image credit: http://projectconnecta-gain.blogspot.com/|
|image credit: http://usvise.com/|
I'm grateful for so many good examples right in front of me. I want to learn to celebrate my children more.
We, the Warden and I, have been working on writing more positives on our children's blackboards, but I think this principle of helping our children feel important, significant, worthwhile and valuable adds a little extra punch to the blackboard. For example, #3 just got home and is complaining of the same symptoms I had at 4am. She went into the room she shares with #7, and #7, who was supposed to be napping, wouldn't leave #3 alone. #3 came trudging into my room with her blanket and pillow saying, "Ugh! #7 won't let me sleep. She keeps saying, 'You okay? You no feeling good? Ooh..."
#6 took care of something for me and put it away. I thanked him and said, "I'm so grateful to have a son like you." Over the top? Maybe, but I'd much rather he have the entire message from my heart than just a "thank you." I don't want anything left for him to guess at. I need to add that extra touch.
There's nothing I want more than to have my kids know they can talk to me.