May, June, and September are the hardest months at our house. Tonight, as I'm working like a fiend, my mind is wandering, and I'm sitting here thinking about who I'd want in such a situation, and then I realize, because it's September, that I AM on a long, grueling journey like that. Life is hard right now. I'm really struggling. Adapting to having life all of a sudden pick up to a running pace from that slow, crawl of summer is tough every year, but since it's so full of meetings for the Warden, I'm just trying to keep my head above water. I know....whine, whine, whine. Really, life could be SO MUCH worse, I know that. Just let me have my little pity party, okay? Indulge me. When I'm done, life'll be better.
Anyway, back to the wagon train. I thought I really don't know enough people that are the kind I'd want with me. There are two things that pick me up...well, three if you count chocolate, and I'm not sure that that will last very long--I'm not very good at rationing things like that. I am cheered and encouraged by music and laughter. Without them, life is dull and boring.
More than anything, on my wagon train, I want people with me who will laugh with me. People who face the dumb, crazy, stupid, hard things in life with a joke. When I'm wheeled in for any kind of surgery (I've had a handful in my life), I'm cracking jokes all the way. It's how I cope with fear. When I broke my leg, I lay on the floor and laughed. There really wasn't any other choice. Yes, it hurt like the dickens, but that I should be crying didn't even occur to me.
I just don't know enough people who laugh. That makes me sad. I wish I knew more. I know a lot of good people, and I don't mean just "good people." I mean, really, close-to-God, good people. Kind of so-close-to-God-it's-almost-scary kind of people, but most of them don't laugh. Nothing is a joke. Life is earnest. It makes me wonder if something's wrong with me. Why do I have such a need to be bent over double holding my belly from laughing so hard?
I think these past two weeks, I really could have used a good laugh. I think every day I need to find something funny that makes me chuckle out loud. Is that wrong? Is that bad? If life is supposed to be joyful...It is supposed to be joyful, isn't it? Well, if so, shouldn't we snicker sometimes?
I once knew a woman, and I believe I've written her comment before just because I was so shocked by it. She said that she thought there was something wrong with people who laughed too much. She thought they must be crazy in the head. Hmm....Should I take that as a hint?
Well, if that's the case, then crazy I am. I just don't think I could live without laughter. Honestly, I think I'd lose my mind....Or maybe I already have, and we're now at the maintenance stage. Regardless, if you're a person who finds the funny in life, you're welcome to my wagon train any ol' time. Just jump on board, or bring a wagon of your own. I need to travel with you.