2014 Resolution: Kicking it to the Curb

I LOVE this time of year. One thing I look forward to is making New Year's resolutions. This year, though, it's been tough. I just haven't been sure where to start….Then, I ran across this:


"“If we can keep [covenants, doctrine, faith, revelation, and spirit] in our families,…maybe a lot of other things start to take care of themselves. Maybe a lot of other less-needed things sort of fall out of the wagon. I’m told...handcarts could only hold so much. Just as our ancestors had to choose what they took, maybe the 21st century will drive us to decide, ‘What can we put on this handcart?’ It’s the substance of our soul; it’s the stuff right down in the marrow of our bones' (Jeffrey R. Holland). Or, to put it another way, it is what is written in our hearts!" (Linda K. Burton).

image: mormonhistoricsites.org

This is what I've decided to base my resolution on.

image: purlem.com

It seems that I use a lot of effort jumping on the "bandwagon." Over time, I fall off, and then time and time again, I spend what remains of my energy worrying and putting forth effort to get "back on the wagon." I want my life to be full of so many good things that I've gotten so that I've finally arrived at the point where I don't want to be involved in any of them.

I say, so much for jumping onto wagons! My focus, I've decided, will be based more on throwing things off the wagon I'm already on. Life is just too short for so much fluff.

You know, you hear stories about those pioneers who left their nice homes and tried to take all that they could with them not knowing what lay ahead. They took things like the piano and the family china? Yep. That's been me.

As these pioneers got going down the trail and saw how difficult the journey was, they started throwing things out one at a time to lighten their load and make their travels easier. They had to prioritize. That's where I'm at now. I want to end up choosing those things that resonate with me….Those things that make me happiest; that make me feel fulfilled as an individual.

image: crackersmaracas.tumblr.com

The rest, I'm planning to throw to the dogs.

By the end of 2014, you might not want to walk in my tracks. Who knows what you'll find that I'm throwing out on any given day.

I haven't quite decided yet what this is going to look like. I'm working on a plan right now, but I'm thinking each month will have a focus and each day will have a simple system of accounting. Although this might be easiest if everything I was sorting through was a tangible item, I don't plan on limiting this to things I can put my hands on. Actually, I'm thinking of starting with the spiritual and mental junk I've been carrying around for so many years and going from there--keep (and repair, if needed) the good, toss the bad.

At this point, it's all very interesting to ponder. I'm looking forward to lightening my load and traveling lighter in the future.

So, here's to 2014! Getting down to the "substance of [my] soul." The year of the lightened handcart!

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What I'm Learning About Cheerfulness

I believe I wrote in my gratitude post this morning that I've been struggling lately. But seriously, what would life be without struggles, right? Anyway, I took a different stance this morning. I got up and felt the same as I have for days. I decided to pray about the specific things that are concerning me--yet again. There have been no answers lately, but when I got up off my knees, I decided that maybe I needed to keep better track, so this post is a compilation of today's thoughts and lessons. These are the impressions that popped into my mind and heart as I went about today's work.

Looking back now, I'm surprised at just how many answers there were.

I kept my laptop on the counter in the kitchen as I did the dishes and made pancakes for breakfast. As I did something that made me happier, I jotted it down quickly and then got back to work.

The things listed here are what occurred prior to 2:00 this afternoon. After that time, I decided to run the kids to the park and let them run through the fountain. I guess we could add run around and do fun stuff  to the list, but life got to bustling after that, so here's my list of cheerfulness:


A little lesson for myself.....

• Music matters. Something peppy--sing along and sing loud. Dancing's even better.



image: vinylartsa.com

• I decide the weather. It doesn't matter what my situation, but in my home, it is of particular importance. You know the old saying, "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Well, that's true. The converse is also true. If momma's happy, everyone's happy.

image: wobm.com

“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate.It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming” (Haim G. Ginott).

• Appearance matters. Wear something that makes you look good. Today, I wore a blouse and my happy green sweater with the white polka dots. I put my hair up and now I'm in search of some happy earrings.
• Have a routine.
• Pray--on your knees out loud.
• Pray more--in your heart ALL the time. Any time you speak with someone, pray in your heart right before.
• Don't get sucked in. Stick with your routine. Don't get caught up on the small stuff--like finding those happy earrings. If you can't find them, put on a glittery necklace or bracelet and call it all good. Now, on the other hand, if a child wakes up or one leaves the house, leave what you're doing to be there to greet or send him/her off.
• Tell yourself "It's good."
• Keep counting your blessings. When you see something good, cling to it.
• No excuses. Recognize those excuses and rationalizations for what they are.
• Insist that the kids help out. If they've left a mess and you know who left the mess, make sure they clean it up.
• Don't get overwhelmed. Use a timer.
• Don't fall into the habit of yelling across the house for any reason (unless the house is on fire, of course).
• Don't EVER let them see you sweat. NEVER raise your voice. Keep calm and give logical choices.
• Have a list. Prioritize. First things first.
• Know when too much is too much. Don't be afraid to ask for help or delegate.
• Let them handle their own problems, but again, pray.
• Low tones.
• Enlist the energy drain mentality.
• NEVER let a tender mercy pass you by--like those happy earrings that just showed up, literally,

  

  See 'em? Thanks, Gayla!

  on my doorstep. Recognize every little blessing for what it is and give thanks for it.
• Clean as you go. If you make the mess, clean up the mess, no matter how small.
• Surround yourself with happy people and happy things. Don't seek out icky things--I find myself looking at pictures of Ariel Castro's house. STOP!
• Don't return to your bedroom during the day--except to use the bathroom because who wants to use a bathroom where the kids have been? Wow, am I snobbish or what?
• Be nice to yourself. Give yourself a break every once in awhile. But remember, breaks are like dessert, not the main course.
• Be in control--stop something you like doing just to prove to yourself that you can--control the situation.
• Feed your spirit.
• Sing through the jobs you hate--sing even when, and especially when, you don't feel like it.
• Listen to lots of Taylor Swift and as you do so, be SO grateful that the dating days are long gone and that you got the guy you did. Phew!
• Wear an apron to cover those cute clothes--you don't want to have to change.
• Look at everyone who talks to you. Restate what they say to let them know that you're really listening and for clarification.
• Lower your voice. Do the opposite of what your urge is.
• Enforce respect--have little people clean up after themselves, help them/remind them to look into your face when they talk to you.

Inspirational messages of the day:

• "Courage is fear that prayed." --Thanks, Julia!

  

  image: tumblr.com

• "This is a time of faith, not fear" (Ensign magazine)
• "Be not afraid, only believe" (Mark 5:36)
• "Faith, to be faith, must walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness" (Boyd K. Packer)
• "Look up" (Thomas S. Monson)
• "God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face" (Jeffrey R. Holland)
• "Rapids are a part of our journey." They're the best part of the trip and add a sense of

  

  image: movingforward.net

  accomplishment and exhilaration.
• "Answers to prayer and the solutions to our problems generally come as we begin to act, not while we are on our knees praying."
• "There is nothing in this world that can defeat us."

image: fanpop.com

In short, this list is a lesson to me that answers come continually in many ways. If I seek for them, they will be found. And if, next time, I'm not looking in the right places, I can always come back here.

Monstrous Waves and Furious Winds

"Some of our struggles involve making decisions, while others are a result of the decisions we have made. Some of our struggles result from choices others make that affect our lives. We cannot always control everything that happens to us in this life, but we can control how we respond. Many struggles come as problems and pressures that sometimes cause pain. Others come as temptations, trials, and tribulations."   --L. Lionel Kendrick

image: fineartamerica.com

I just finished reading in Ether about Jared and his brother and their trip to the promised land. I read that no matter how monstrous the waves became and no matter how fiercely the winds blew, they were thankful.

They were in their boats for nearly a year, but they, that entire time, sang praises and recognized the "multitude of tender mercies" that came their way.

It was the little things, not some huge, life shattering, miraculous event that got them there. It was the little things--the little evidences of God's existence--that brought them through to a better place.

All good things come from God. They recognized that and gave thanks for every good thing that came their way.

So often, I glom onto the bad in my life. What good does that do?

The Jaredites had a huge thing going for them. They knew where good things came from, and they were grateful for them. It mentions the monster waves and the furious winds, but those things, they recognized, drove them to where they needed to be. Had those things not existed, they would have been at a standstill, but the wind and waves never ceased. Never.

image: missaday.blogspot.com

I look at the waves and winds in my life, and I sigh and groan about them. Today, I learned from these people that I'm looking at things in my life all wrong. 

bothareedified.blogspot.com

The Jaredites prayed continually. Of course, they didn't know exactly where their journey was taking them. They were in ark-like boats. They couldn't see a thing. They put themselves in and pushed off. That was it. It was a complete trust thing.

Isn't that life for everyone? Does anyone really know where they're headed? Even when we're headed in a direction that we like, there are so many things we can't control and things that hold back our progression.

I am coming to understand more and more that I (and anyone) can ask for help at any given moment and receive tender mercies even for the smallest things in my life. It's vitally important to remember, though, that those things, no matter how small or how large, are still blowing me and pushing me toward where I need to be. I need to be thankful, continually, for these things, but first, I MUST recognize them.

image: sherriejohnson.blogspot.com

It's my response that matters in this journey being a happy one or a sad one. Seeking to pray for the things I don't like or don't understand and clinging to every good thing no matter how small or large (the multitude of tender mercies) that happen, recognizing where they've come from, and giving thanks for them will make this journey a joyful one. No matter what the struggles may be.

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Hope Smiling Brightly

I started my morning with a group of impatient people. It didn't help that I really didn't want to be where I was when I was and that I, in the process of being there, broke two nails down to the point of making one of them bleed--that's quite a feat considering I rarely have nails long enough to even break in the first place.

As I dealt with this, I remembered what I read this morning, and it helped center me again.


"Because of Christ there is hope smiling brightly before you, and you need not worry too much about sickness, death, poverty, or other afflictions. The Lord will take care of you. Your responsibility is to keep the commandments, feast upon the words of Christ, and stay in the path to your heavenly home." 
--Julie B. Beck, "There Is Hope Smiling Brightly before Us", Ensign, May 2003, 103


Even in as minor a situation as I was in this morning, this quote helped me remember that even if I'm hating my circumstances, there's somebody else in charge. I just needed to ride the wave and be patient.

I knew that things would even out later in the day to make up for my cruddy morning, and you know what? It did. It ended up being a great day.

Oh, but my nail still hurts.

A New Hero

Yesterday I was introduced, though Facebook, to this man....

image: dennischeatham.com

His name is Chiune Sugihara. I had never heard of him before. I searched further and found out why he was so significant as I watched this:




There is a longer (six-part) report on this on You Tube if you want to see more. This is just a short clip of that program.

The most amazing thing about Mr. Sugihara is that he went against his own government. With the understanding of Japanese honor, that is truly shocking. He really took a risk.

One of the things he said touched my heart....


"If you have an opportunity to help someone in your lifetime, do it. In life, do what's right because it's right, and leave it alone--no ulterior motive. Do what is right. Don't make money from it. Don't write an article about it. Don't publicize it. Do what's right because it's right."


Sometimes I think we get so wrapped up in policy. We allow these things to talk us out of doing the right thing for others around us.


What a great man! Such an amazing example to the world!

A Little Something Learned from the Physics Department

I finally did it! I took some pages of my blog and made them into a book. It's been something I've wanted to do for a long time. It took me two days, and it ended up being around 60 pages long. As I reviewed it, I ran across a few things I'd forgotten about.

image: kneebouncers.com

We had stake conference in April of 2008. At that time, a woman in our stake said something along the lines of pride cannot exist where gratitude is. Those weren't her exact words, but regardless, the idea was what was important.

This morning, I went searching for a quote from a General Conference or something so that I could find the exact quote. I was unsuccessful, but I found a very interesting source of similar information. I found the notes from a discussion that took place among the physics staff at BYU-Idaho. Did you get that? The physics staff. I LOVE that! 

Here is a link to the site where I found it. I've copied portions of it here because I feel that there is much to be learned from it....

  "How do we avoid pride?"
 

• Associating with "different people outside our bubble." Pride is building oneself up compared to others. Reaching out to everyone keeps us humble.  
   
• No one is above another.  Teachers are not any better than students. We are all equal in God's eyes; shouldn't we be in our own eyes too?
   
• We are here to serve. When you serve, it means you love your fellowman and want to see him/her succeed. 
   
• "Keeping an attitude of gratitude will help us avoid getting prideful."  Sometimes we need to step back and remember where we came from and be grateful for just what we have in life.

 

image: lastdaysigns.blogspot.com

The steps of the pride cycle (The physics department only touch on two of these steps, but the other two are pretty self-explanatory):

1st step - Prosperity

When  people prosper and do well, pride creeps in, and we forget the Lord and where our  blessings really come from.                

In reality, with extra blessings comes the responsibility to share more.  Give to others more freely.

Each day, I need to step outside of myself and serve someone else unselfishly. I need to keep this perspective and pray for these opportunities. When I feel that tug, I need to just do it and not question it. 

2nd step - Lifting ourselves above others

As we prosper, we start lifting ourselves above others, we forget, and we even grow to despise those who need us. Remember to praise the Lord, and "recognize how much he helps and blesses us everyday."  When we treat each other this way, "we can more fully feel His love."

 

"The antidote of pride is charity....The scriptures teach that charity has a number of characteristics ([1] Corinthians [13]:1-13; Moroni 7:44-45).  We can tell if we have charity by how the feelings of our heart and our actions match up with the characteristics noted in these scriptures":

• Suffer long - be patient, endure well
• Be kind
• Don't envy or be jealous of others
• Don't brag
• Don't become big headed
• Don't act or think inappropriately
• Be unselfish
• Seek out others that are different from you. Love and serve them.
• Choose not to be provoked by things that might make you angry or frustrated
• Dwell on all the good that surrounds you
• Don't delight in sin or the failure of others
• Be grateful for the truth and seek out more of it
• Believe, knowing that all good things come from God--recognize His hand
• Hope
• Do your best no matter what circumstances you might find yourself in
• Be grateful even in the hardest of times
• Be meek (easily imposed on) - be ready to jump in and help anyone at any time
• Have a "broken heart" and a "contrite spirit" - continually seek to do better than you did yesterday.

 

image: kymberleefenn.blogspot.com

"...Humility is not the only cure to pride, but that charity, or the pure love of Christ, is a better cure...When we exhibit the characteristics of charity, we cannot be prideful.  The two cannot co-exist."  We need to constantly reevaluate our actions and keep things in the proper perspective. 

 

We need to identify pride and its effects in our daily lives.  Work together with and encourage others. Together, we can help each other achieve great things and help others grow and feel the Lord's love as we serve them.  

Of course, I took a lot of the BYU-I physics department's ideas and edited them here, but I thought they were SO good.

I know when I'm being prideful. I feel like I get a little warning in my heart, but I, at times, ignore it and do the prideful thing anyway. I'm going to work on heeding those little tuggings in my heart better.

Pulling Out of the Funk

It was a tough day. Everything was dragging me down. I think too much, and at times, I care too much about what others think about me. All it takes is one look, and I'm off and wondering what I did to tick that person off.

It's funny, but now that I'm over it and look back through the day, I can see that there were a dozen or so little tender mercies trying to pull me out of my funk.

*   #7, out of the blue, walked across the room, put her head gently on my arm and said, "Mommy, Julie, I love you."

*   I turned on Facebook at one point and found this quote:
""I encourage you to discover who you really are. I invite you to look beyond the daily routine of life. I urge you to discern through the Spirit your divinely given capacities." Richard G. Scott

This is a HUGE part of my struggle. I'm trying to be everything to everybody. Honestly, I don't think this is wrong. I feel like I am supposed to be doing these things. Others might think I'm crazy to do so much, but when an opportunity comes along, I'm very careful to listen to my gut. I deny things that I don't feel good about. For me, and my personality, I need to do this much so that I remember to lean on the Lord. I can't get too comfortable, or I forget to lean.

*   After I saw this quote, I ventured to another part of Facebook and found another mom of many who was struggling. I was sad to know she was having a tough time too, but so glad not to be alone and unusual in my feelings.

image: www.scenicreflections.com

*   Then, the biggie....I was supposed to go to a stake leadership training tonight. Right before I left, my daughter (#3) reminded me that she had a choir concert tonight. I went ahead and headed to the church with full intention of going to my meeting, but as I sat there, I knew that I needed to be with her, so I texted her, told her I was on my way, ran home, and we dashed off to the high school. On our way, as we passed a restaurant, I shared with her that we WOULD be going to get a piece of pie together after the concert no matter what. We left the concert a bit early--after she'd performed--and hurried off to the restaurant. I had a meeting at 8:30, so we had a time limit on our fun. As we ate, I asked her how her day was, and she asked me about mine. Hers was good; mine, not so good. She wanted to know why, but instead of telling her, I said, "How about instead of dwelling on all that's wrong, we sit here and count our blessings." So we did. As we did so, my life took a complete 180. Suddenly life became perfectly blissful, wonderful, and blessed. I can't even remember what I was unhappy about before the pie adventure. Who cares if everybody hates me....There are so many things that are good that SO far outshine all of the garbage.

image: journeyofjapan.wordpress.com

*   On the way to my 8:30pm meeting, I sang "Count Your Blessings" out loud all the way there. A few words really stuck in my head...."Do not be discouraged God is over all." I used to sing this as I rode my bike on the streets of Japan back on my mission.

*   As soon as I got seated in the room, I was asked to play the piano for an opening song. I haven't played in such a long time. I'd forgotten how therapeutic playing the piano is for me. I could choose any song I wanted to play. I chose, "I Know that My Redeemer Lives." I played it fairly well--miraculous. The feeling as I sang and played further solidified how blessed my life is. What do I have to complain about, really?

image: liccafansubs.blogspot.com

*   Just now, my daughter (#1) posted this:
""Whatever comes, cannot alter one thing. If I am a princess in rags and tatters, I can be a princess inside. It would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in a cloth of gold, but it is a great deal more of a triumph to be one all the time when no one knows it."


There is the last tender mercy for the night. So glad for the little personalized messages from heaven. Glad to have the reality check that He's still there, and still cares.

The Bottom Line

image credit: judycooley.com

There seems to be a lot of curiosity about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints at this point in time. I ran across this quote this morning and realized that this just might be the very basis for LDS belief. So, if you want to know what makes me tick....

image credit: lds.org

"We voluntarily came from the presence of God the Father to this mortal probation with agency, knowing we would have "opposition in all things" (2 Nephi 2:11). Our objective is to take upon us the whole armor of God and withstand "the fiery darts of the wicked" with the shield of faith and the sword of the Spirit, to endure to the end, and to be worthy to stand and live in the presence of God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, for all eternity-to achieve what is called eternal life." 

--Elder Robert D. Hales

New Favorite Quote

Years ago, I had the very last sentence written in the margin of my scriptures. Those scriptures ended up getting lost--it's a very long story.

Tonight, the Warden shared this with me. I LOVE it! Funny thing is, he shared it with me without even realizing it had been just the thing we'd been talking about a few minutes earlier. It tied in PERFECTLY!

image credit: myjdl.com

“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.”

--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Just a Little Piece of Unwanted Advice...

Oh my goodness! I just found this at the bottom of the annex blog. I don't even remember putting it there, but I really need to share it....for those who asked me to change my blog, a little word of advice:

"...My counsel to members would be to relax, lighten up, mellow out, and not get so huffy. While the gospel is sacred and serious, sometimes we take ourselves a little too seriously. A sense of humor, especially about ourselves, is an attribute worthy of development."

--Glen L. Pace

Starting Off

"To reach a goal you have never before attained, you must do things you have never before done."

--Richard G. Scott, "Finding the Way Back," Ensign, May 1990, 74

As I venture once again into this portion control and exercise thing, I'm finding that having been there before and knowing that it's achievable is a HUGE help. The quote above is for anyone joining me who hasn't done this before.

Before I was in my late 30s, I never had to watch my weight--thanks Mom. Now it's a different story. A friend asked, as a comment to the last post, whether I was doing this for reasons other than health, and to be honest, I am. I mean, of course there's always health reasons. I'm right now just at the cusp of the healthy BMI for my height. I want to catch it before it becomes discouraging and too difficult to battle.

image credit: http://comefillyourcup.com

To be completely honest, my main reason is more mentally based. I remember how great I felt about myself when I lost weight the first time. You know, when you first start out, it's a bit frustrating. The weight doesn't seem to come off as quickly as you'd like it to. But, once you get over that and continue to eat right and exercise, there's a point where your clothes become baggy and you start to notice the change. There's a great sense of satisfaction in knowing that you were able to rise above and control yourself and that that level of control has become somewhat second nature--you don't have to try so hard. That is my main reason for doing this. I just want to feel good about myself in that way again.

So, here's what's going on today....

image credit: http://bayanistore.com

I had two pieces of 12 grain toast this morning with blackberry fruit-only spread on it. Although the website said bread was 1 point, I put in the numbers on the side and found that this particular bread is two. The jam is 1 point per tablespoon. I didn't measure it, but figured I put about a tablespoon's worth on each slice, so I gave myself 2 points for that.

Breakfast total:  6 points

I took the kids to the movies today. They had food to eat during the movie, and although I was tempted, I didn't touch any of it. Because of this, by lunch I was STARVING! We went to the Warden's school and had burgers. I threw caution to the wind and put mayo along with my ketchup and mustard on it. Ketchup and mustard are each zero points up to a certain amount, but mayo'll get you every time.

I'm SO LOVING onemorepound.com. I mean LOVE IT! I go there to search for point amounts. Just so you know if you go there, to find point amounts for jam and mayo, go to the section on the main page that says "POINTS for Thousands of Items" then go to "POINTS for Condiments, Dressings, Marinades, and Spreads."

I have the books that I purchased back in the day, but onemorepound.com means I don't have to spend the time looking things up in the index and rifling through the pages. Did I happen to mention that I LOVE onemorepound.com?! Well, now you know.

I also ate blueberries with lunch. They are zero points for 1/2 cup.

image credit: http://nutritionistics.wordpress.com

I created a simple spreadsheet to keep track of my current weight (I figure I'll weigh in every Monday), the points I have to eat and have eaten, and the goals I've set and where I'm at with those. I want to make sure I eat five servings of fruits and veggies a day, exercise for at least 20 minutes and drink a huge load of water. Normally that water would be somewhere around 64 ounces, but dealing with some health issues right now, it's been suggested that I double that. Ugh! But, I'm doing it. It seems to be making a difference.

Exercise is my hardest thing. It's just difficult to slip out of the house and get moving. I would also much rather have company, so I think I'll grab a kid or two once they get home from today's activities. It may end up being after 9:00 tonight, but it will happen! 

One other suggestion....As with all goals, in order to be successful, there must be an aspect of accountability. That's the very reason why I'm posting this here. Yes, dear reader, I'm using you for accountability purposes. I know if I'm going to have to fess up to what I'm doing, I'll be more careful about what I do, so thank you! 

Here's what's left to be done today....

image credit: http://www.home-gym-bodybuilding.com

• 11 more points to eat
• At least 20 minutes of exercise to do (which will add more points that I can eat)
• 8 more glasses of water to consume
• 3 more servings of fruits and/or veggies--our garden's needing to be harvested a bit, so I think I'll be spending some time out there.

If you're joining me, I'd love to know how things are going for you. What are your goals? Do you have any additional pointers for me? If you do, I'd be happy to share them in a future post--if you're okay with that.

Making His Paths Straight

Two days in a row--I've overcome myself and gotten out of bed early. Phew! That was TOUGH! I SO wanted to get back in bed--I have to put my cell phone all the way across the house in order to get myself up and coherent enough to not go back to sleep. I'm finding that in order to motivate myself to get moving, I have to have something pressing to do. That's not always the case. This morning, after running downstairs to the kitchen to get the alarm turned off (yup. Seriously. That's how far I have to go to get myself to do this) I laid there messing with my cell phone until I could talk myself into a reason for getting up.

This morning, in a quiet, dark house, I got the chance to read Alma 7. I love readthescriptures.com. It makes it so easy. I tend to understand better and things sink in deeper when I take notes. This morning, I got stuck on the words that are the title of this post, and my notes bled over here. You'll find there are quite a few things my mind got stuck on as I read. Sometimes I just read those things and "unstick" them as quickly as possible so as not to let them disturb my progress in reading. Dumb! This morning, I wanted to catch every one. I also like how it was possible to link past posts to some of the things that occurred to me as I read. It kind of shows how lessons are learned line upon line and things come together eventually. Nice!

So, if you're interested, here's what got stuck.....


"He cannot walk in crooked paths....Neither hath he a shadow of turning from the right to the left" (verse 20).
"And he doth not dwell in unholy temples; neither can...anything unclean be received into the kingdom of God" (verse 21).

Alma tells us these things to "awaken" us to a "sense of our duty to God" (verse 22).

Duty to God? What is that? Is that ours because we are born on this earth? Does everyone have the same duty, or is that just something reserved for those who have made covenants through baptism? I would venture to say it's for everyone, but you can't do it unless you know it, right?

In that case, is ignorance bliss?

I would think (knee jerk) yes, it is, but I'm not in that boat. I have read this and know this and am coming to understand it better. I think the "bliss" is skin deep, but the knowledge brings joy deep in your soul.

It speaks of "walking blameless before God." I think in this we go back to living a life "above reproach." If you're walking blameless before God, then you're walking that way in every aspect of your life.

So, here are some of the traits we've been admonished to "obtain" in order to become clean and make those paths straight:

• Be humble. From what I understand about that word--be on your knees asking for grace (allow Him to make up for what you lack) as you attempt to live life the best you can.
• Be submissive and gentle. "Submissive?" "Meekly obedient?" Basically, suck it up quietly and do it--whatever "it" may be. Just go and do and stop fretting about it.
• Easy to be entreated. By whom? By God or my fellowman? How about by both? Is that what this is all about? I've known of people who need to pray and receive answers before they'll agree to do any little thing. Is that what this is about? I would say not. Should it even come down to people having to ask you to do something? Maybe it should be the Spirit entreating you. When I hear it, do I act quickly and easily, or do I question it and question it and question it some more? I would think that if you're "easy to be entreated," you're "Johnny on the spot." You're the first one up and moving when you see there's a need (back to "kigatsuku.")
• Full of patience and long-suffering. If there's anything we receive from God, it's this. Doesn't it make sense that we should be willing to offer this to others as well?
• Temperate in all things. In other words, don't go overboard. Have balance in your life. Don't let things rule your life. Let God and your desire to serve Him and your fellow beings rule your life.
• Diligent in keeping the commandments of God. In order to keep them, you have to know them. That's kind of where this whole thing began--the whole "ignorance is bliss" thing (see above).
• Ask for whatever you need to make these things happen in your life. That's a nice little perk. He wants us to do and become these things, but He's not leaving us to "figure it out" on our own. He's offering us an out-stretched hand. Is this a benefit I take advantage of? No, not often. Well, duh! Maybe it's time to start.

And then, He asks that we thank Him for whatever we receive from Him--in spirit and in stuff.

He makes it simpler yet and gives us a shortened version of what He's asked in the bullet points above: "See that ye have faith, hope, and charity, and then ye will always abound in good works."

So, I've often heard said that all you have to have to be saved is God's grace. Yes, you do. I believe this, but I don't think that's all. That grace comes through Jesus Christ's atonement, but if we rely on grace alone, we can just sit around all day eating bonbons and becoming well acquainted with a remote control, can't we?

I don't believe that that was why I was sent here. In verse 10, it talks about Mary and how she was a "chosen vessel." She was chosen to fulfill her role as mother of the Son of God. As I pondered that, I got to thinking, I don't believe God to be random in anything. I just don't think that's one of His qualities. In every aspect, He is perfect. That being the case, He either needs to be perfectly random or perfectly organized and planned. Therefore, if that is the case, and He chose Mary, didn't He also choose me to perform some special work here? And if that's the case, notice I use the word "work." Sitting around with the bonbons and the remote just aren't going to get that thing fulfilled, but the list above will. That's what He's promising.

Here's the thing...I often think of Lehi and Nephi's vision of the "Tree of Life" and the path they followed to "obtain the fruit." It was "straight and narrow," but nothing is said of the incline. As I write as I did above--my impressions as I study this morning, I read over all that's listed and think, "Yah, no problem. Got it handled," but then I think of my bonbon self and how much easier it is to just sit and watch others do the work. I guess the important thing to remember is Mary. She had a job to do. What if she hadn't lived up to that? But Mary didn't have the internet. I have to admit, I justify my internet use by saying that I do a lot of good here, and I believe I do. I use it to encourage people and stay connected to their lives, but is it hurting my ability to connect with my little ones that are here before my face? Am I encouraging them on a moment-by-moment basis? This is my time to do that.

So, here's a little further encouragement, if you find yourself in the same boat I'm in....

"If we live by the principles of the gospel, we must be good people, for we will be generous and kind, thoughtful and tolerant, helpful and outreaching to those in distress. We can either subdue the divine nature and hide it so that it finds no expression in our lives, or we can bring it to the front and let it shine through all that we do."

--Gordon B. Hinckley

This just happened to be at the bottom of the page when I finished reading the chapter. These quotes are purely random, but I love how it fit my train of thought. And thus, off to another tangent....

I love that President Hinckley used the word "tolerant." On Sunday, during the sacrament, I decided to flip through the hymn book and read the text to a few hymns. I chanced upon "In Humility, Our Savior" and the words "Teach us tolerance and love" hit my heart and have stayed there. Actually, when I woke this morning, those were the first coherent words I remember in my mind.

I wondered how many times I've sung that hymn and those words have just gone through my eyes and right back out of my mouth as I've hurried to move on to the words that follow in the hymn.

I'm feeling "intolerated" right now with someone else's desire to change things about this blog, and it doesn't feel very good. I guess I need to be more tolerant. The words before these that stuck in my mind are: "Fill our hearts with sweet forgiving." Ah yes! In order to be tolerant, one must also be forgiving and when one is intolerated, one must REALLY be forgiving.

Does this come easy for anyone? Really? I'm sure there are people out there that have that gift. I'm working on it.

So, in this post lies a challenge. Not just for today, but for a lifetime. It is what we must endure to the end doing--making His paths straight and in so doing, becoming more like Him.

So, it's time to swallow the last of the bonbons and put down the remote, and for heaven's sake, before the kids get up, get off the internet....

Being Honest with Yourself: A Little Post About Growing Up (coming from me--haha. yah.)

If you read the title of yesterday's post, you'll know why I'm laughing as I write this one.

My kids don't walk on water. They have their strengths and their weaknesses like all of us human beings, but they're good kids nonetheless, and I'm glad they're mine. They are my biggest challenge as well as my biggest blessing. Isn't that how it usually works in life?

It's interesting how often dealing with  my children helps me understand how to deal with issues in my own life. As I help my kids grow up, maybe I'm maturing a bit myself--scary, I know.

Last night, I was working on an article for the company I work for (I LOVE this job), and I could hear the Warden and one of our children talking downstairs. I knew what they're talking about and knew that I needed to be in on the conversation, so I headed downstairs to join in.

One thing I've learned recently is that the one of the only things that gets my kids riled is if we confront them on something they're guilty of. I mean, if you look at this as a rational adult, the same holds true for grown ups . If you're doing what you're supposed to be doing and someone accuses you of something you're not doing, there's no reason for a freak out. Am I right? All you do is say, "No. I didn't do that" or some such similar thing, and the discussion is over. If you're guilty of it and either sad or embarrassed at being found out, you'll fight against the accuser, am I right? It just seems to be human nature.

So, during this conversation, two points came up. One was being "above reproach," and the other was being honest with oneself.  As we were talking about them, I came to the realization that these two principles are vital to becoming a responsible adult.

I don't mean to question your intelligence  by defining this, but my kids didn't know what it meant, so here you go.....When one is above reproach, it means that (s)he is trying to be completely trustworthy and exactly obedient to what is expected of him/her. No one can slam you because there's nothing to slam you about. When I'm off with my friends, I'm off with my friends. When I said I was going to the grocery store, that's exactly where I was going. I guess you could say the opposite of being above reproach would be attempting to "fly under the radar."

That's what this child was trying to do, and which teenager doesn't try it once in awhile--and more if the first and second times were successful? If caught and confronted in a loving, caring manner, I believe this pattern can be stopped, but I am new at this mother to teenager thing, so time will tell, huh?

The other point that became so clear during this conversation was that at some moment in time, we all must come to a point of introspection where we take a good, hard, honest look at ourselves and take responsibility for what we find. Am I living the life I want to live? Am I achieving my goals? Are my goals good? Am I heading down a path I like? Should I change course? Is there baggage I'm carrying around that I need to somehow get rid of in order to progress? Is there something out there better than what I currently have? Should I be seeking for that? Am I truly happy, and if not, what can I do to change that? Am I being the person I want to be? If not, what qualities does that person have, and how am I going to become like that?

In that honesty, there needs to be some acceptance of self, and along with the self-criticism, an acceptance of all that is good in ourselves. This is a bittersweet exercise filled with recognition of failings as well as understanding and gratitude for blessings and all the good in our lives.

As we spoke with this child, it became clear that the child wasn't happy with how things were going but also wasn't ready for change. In order to be ready, there needs to be a few moments of honesty. It needs to be decided just what is causing the discontent. In this case, it was an understanding of where the mistake is being made and gaining the self-discipline to balance things back out. It seems in order to be ready for change, there needs to be a point where we hit rock bottom. Just where is rock bottom? Do we decide for ourselves when enough is enough?

I think there are tough situations in life that are, to some degree or another, out of our control. With those, to get through them sanely (haha! Funny I should say that coming from a "madhouse"), is to lie to yourself and tell yourself it's all good. For example, when I'm dealing with tough people that I have no choice but to deal with, I have to tell myself, "I love this person." It almost becomes a mantra just to get myself through it. In difficult situations, I have to keep telling myself that "life's good" and continually count my blessings.

For circumstances that we can control, we have to be honest. For example, the things I say to difficult people I interact with are my choice completely. If I say something offensive, it's up to me to face that honestly and remedy the situation or live with the consequences of appearing to be a jerk as well as any backlash that could come my way from those I've offended.


"Some of our struggles involve making decisions, while others are a result of the decisions we have made. Some of our struggles result from choices others make that affect our lives. We cannot always control everything that happens to us in this life, but we can control how we respond. Many struggles come as problems and pressures that sometimes cause pain. Others come as temptations, trials, and tribulations."

--L. Lionel Kendrick

So, it all lies in the response....When things are difficult, and cannot be altered--you just have to swim through them, you've just got to lie--let's call that what everyone else does "positive self-talk." When things are difficult by your own making, that's when you have to be honest--face it, take responsibility for it, take responsibility to change it and move on.

So, therein lies just another tender mercy. I'm sad when my kids struggle, but in some cases, it's a blessing...for both of us. Here's what I've learned from all of this....I choose when I've hit rock bottom--when I've had enough. I must live above reproach continually. When faced with hard things that I can't control, I've got to keep talking positively to myself and keep myself buoyed up. When I deal with things that are my doing and I control, I need to be honest with myself and take responsibility for making them better.

Okay, so maybe this did no one else any good at all, and it's just the blitherings of a woman in a madhouse. If so, it's all good. I'm still a bit scared to say that I may be growing up.

Perspective

"Because we are being constantly exposed to the world's definition of greatness, it is understandable that we might make comparisons between what we are and what others are-or seem to be-and also between what we have and what others have. Although it is true that making comparisons can be beneficial and may motivate us to accomplish much good and to improve our lives, we often allow unfair and improper comparisons to destroy our happiness when they cause us to feel unfulfilled or inadequate or unsuccessful. Sometimes, because of these feelings, we are led into error and dwell on our failures while ignoring aspects of our lives that may contain elements of true greatness.

"In 1905, President Joseph F. Smith made this most profound statement about true greatness:

" 'Those things which we call extraordinary, remarkable, or unusual may make history, but they do not make real life.

" 'After all, to do well those things which God ordained to be the common lot of all mankind, is the truest greatness. To be a successful father or a successful mother is greater than to be a successful general or a successful statesman.' (Juvenile Instructor, 15 Dec. 1905, p. 752.)"

--Howard W. Hunter