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Thursday, October 18, 2012

Pulling Out of the Funk

It was a tough day. Everything was dragging me down. I think too much, and at times, I care too much about what others think about me. All it takes is one look, and I'm off and wondering what I did to tick that person off.

It's funny, but now that I'm over it and look back through the day, I can see that there were a dozen or so little tender mercies trying to pull me out of my funk.

*   #7, out of the blue, walked across the room, put her head gently on my arm and said, "Mommy, Julie, I love you."

*   I turned on Facebook at one point and found this quote:
""I encourage you to discover who you really are. I invite you to look beyond the daily routine of life. I urge you to discern through the Spirit your divinely given capacities." Richard G. Scott

This is a HUGE part of my struggle. I'm trying to be everything to everybody. Honestly, I don't think this is wrong. I feel like I am supposed to be doing these things. Others might think I'm crazy to do so much, but when an opportunity comes along, I'm very careful to listen to my gut. I deny things that I don't feel good about. For me, and my personality, I need to do this much so that I remember to lean on the Lord. I can't get too comfortable, or I forget to lean.

*   After I saw this quote, I ventured to another part of Facebook and found another mom of many who was struggling. I was sad to know she was having a tough time too, but so glad not to be alone and unusual in my feelings.

image: www.scenicreflections.com
*   Then, the biggie....I was supposed to go to a stake leadership training tonight. Right before I left, my daughter (#3) reminded me that she had a choir concert tonight. I went ahead and headed to the church with full intention of going to my meeting, but as I sat there, I knew that I needed to be with her, so I texted her, told her I was on my way, ran home, and we dashed off to the high school. On our way, as we passed a restaurant, I shared with her that we WOULD be going to get a piece of pie together after the concert no matter what. We left the concert a bit early--after she'd performed--and hurried off to the restaurant. I had a meeting at 8:30, so we had a time limit on our fun. As we ate, I asked her how her day was, and she asked me about mine. Hers was good; mine, not so good. She wanted to know why, but instead of telling her, I said, "How about instead of dwelling on all that's wrong, we sit here and count our blessings." So we did. As we did so, my life took a complete 180. Suddenly life became perfectly blissful, wonderful, and blessed. I can't even remember what I was unhappy about before the pie adventure. Who cares if everybody hates me....There are so many things that are good that SO far outshine all of the garbage.

image: journeyofjapan.wordpress.com
*   On the way to my 8:30pm meeting, I sang "Count Your Blessings" out loud all the way there. A few words really stuck in my head...."Do not be discouraged God is over all." I used to sing this as I rode my bike on the streets of Japan back on my mission.

*   As soon as I got seated in the room, I was asked to play the piano for an opening song. I haven't played in such a long time. I'd forgotten how therapeutic playing the piano is for me. I could choose any song I wanted to play. I chose, "I Know that My Redeemer Lives." I played it fairly well--miraculous. The feeling as I sang and played further solidified how blessed my life is. What do I have to complain about, really?

image: liccafansubs.blogspot.com
*   Just now, my daughter (#1) posted this:
""Whatever comes, cannot alter one thing. If I am a princess in rags and tatters, I can be a princess inside. It would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in a cloth of gold, but it is a great deal more of a triumph to be one all the time when no one knows it."

There is the last tender mercy for the night. So glad for the little personalized messages from heaven. Glad to have the reality check that He's still there, and still cares.


Lisa said...

Love this post! And the reminders.

Darilyn said...

Awesome. He is there.

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