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Saturday, October 6, 2012

Silence

You've probably noticed that I haven't been writing on a consistent basis. If you haven't, well, I haven't. I'm struggling with finding appropriate things to write about. Not that I'm thinking of inappropriate things to write about, but after I have to delete a post, which has only happened a couple of times, I have a hard time getting back on board and writing from my heart. I guess I kind of feel like this is MY spot to write, and I should be allowed to write whatever I want to, right?

I mean, the post I deleted was not a bad post. Actually, it was a good post, maybe even one of my best with very valid points to it. To protect someone, I deleted it. When really there was no threat to that person, but a person's perception is their reality, and just by writing this, I'm going to be in the doghouse again. Should I care? Probably not, but I do. Has this experience changed my feelings about things and people, yes. I've tried for it not to, but it has, and I'm still working on that.

To me, the underlying message I wrote about was important. It should have been left to stand just for the fact that it was something that needed to be said.

Blogging is a tricky thing. Now, I feel like I should wear a shirt that says, "Warning: I am a blogger....Be careful what you say to me." I don't want to put anybody into that situation.

I once saw a blog where the author had written something about how the blog was like her personal space, like her bedroom, and in her bedroom, she's allowed to say whatever she wants.

I feel that I have a good heart and that I'm totally not out to make anyone angry. I'm not going to name people unless I have someone's permission to do so.

Anyway, I need to get over this. I need to feel safe to write again without feeling that I'm going to be disturbing somebody's life. I've been wanting to rewrite that post, but I can't find that angle. The message was so important that I know I have to. I just haven't been able to yet.

I've got to get back on board. Life is just easier to handle when I can write about it.

2 comments:

Patrick and Paige said...

Do It!!!!!! This is your blogspot! Nobody should keep you from writing what you want to write on YOUR blogspot! I love others opinions, especially super opinionated opinions! Don't hold back! Do it, no regrets! Love you Jules!

Julie said...

Wish I could, Paige, but it's awkward enough even though I took it down. I agree, I should be able to, but out of respect for this person, I HAD to do it. I'm hoping my feelings'll change over time, but I feel like someone came into my bedroom, told me I was a bad person and walked back out. I can't do it.

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