2014 Portland-to-Coast (part 1)

A week ago now, at 2:00 in the morning, I found myself facing my greatest fears.

Since I was about three years old, I have been dreadfully afraid of the forest. It's a long story that I won't get into right now, but just trust me, I had a bad experience.

Yes, I go to Girls Camp nearly every summer, and I have a great time, but it is rare that you will ever find me in a forest all alone.

One such rare occurrence was early last Saturday morning….

It was me with my little headlamp in the middle of the Cascade Range in the middle of the night heading toward the Pacific Ocean, walking as fast as my legs could carry me.

I am a member of a 12-person, 2-van Portland to Coast relay race walking team. This is the second year I've done this. Only, last year, I had the easy legs of the race. Last year, I dodged homeless people and walked the bridges and waterfront of downtown Portland. My second leg was at 1am on a windy road in the middle of nowhere with no shoulder on the road to walk on--thank goodness for little traffic.

This year, I was surprised to find that I had been assigned the difficult and very difficult legs. Yikes! Last year, I was in much better shape. This year, I had been a major slacker.

When I received the email with my leg assignments, what could I do? I wrote back to the team captain and sent her five simple words…."I can do hard things."

What I learned from facing those hard things and the experience I had was astounding.


To be continued…..

Racing for the First Time

image: seabythecity.com

I've never raced before....Ever. I was never really involved in sports as a kid except for one year on a volleyball team. Epic failure! I was "the most improved" player at the end of the season, but I think that was just given out of the kindness of the coach's heart. I was HIDEOUSLY terrible.

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I was much more into music. That was my thing--flute, piano, clarinet.... Learning to play the oboe continues to be on my bucket list.

I was also in a drama production of The Diary of Anne Frank and played Anne's mother. That was a BLAST! Yup. Drama and music are much more my thing.

So, tomorrow is my first race of my life. I will be on a walking team for the Portland-to-Coast relay. This weekend is the Hood-to-Coast for runners who run in teams. Each runner on a team runs three legs that vary from three miles to nearly eight miles. With the walkers and high school-aged runners, it's the Portland-to-Coast. We jump in on the Hood-to-Coast's leg #13. Walking teams only take two race legs per walker.

image: commons.wikimedia.org

I will be walking that first leg through the waterfront area of downtown. It's 7.31 miles. My second leg will be in the middle of the night and will be 3.75 miles.

I was given this opportunity by a friend about a month and a half ago, so the training began. I figure I've been walking most of my life, so we're good, right? Well, speed walking is a completely different ballgame.

The other day, I had the opportunity to go with the captain of our team and walk that first leg. It was pretty brutal as far as length goes, but it was nice and flat and very beautiful. I'm happy to know where I'm going.

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Now, on the middle of the night leg....Yikes! It's out in the middle of nowhere, but how lost can I get in 3.75 miles. Wait....Don't ask that. I'm figuring I could actually get pretty lost.

I'm so excited for this opportunity!

When we finished the practice leg on Monday, the moment I turned around after reaching the end, I felt lightheaded and within an hour I had a migraine. I know...wah, wah, wah! I'm hoping not to die after that first leg tomorrow. I'll have some time to recover and went out and purchased everything I could think of to get me up to speed again. I'm also hydrating like crazy today.

I ran into a friend at the high school that other day who had run the Hood-to-Coast before. She said to just take regular food along like I'd normally eat, so I did. Actually, you wouldn't believe the feast I've packed for myself.

image: flickcast.com

At the sporting goods store yesterday, I was talking to the cashier as I was buying a pair of sunglasses. She advised me to take along Skittles or Sour Patch Kids to help keep my mouth hydrated during the race, so I decided to take the "kids" along.

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countryweekend.blogspot.com

Four of my kids claimed the colors as theirs, so as I eat them, as I walk, I'm supposed to think of them--#2=orange, #3=yellow, #5=green, #6=red. I also figure that the Queen Anne's lace that's growing along the trails so abundantly right now will represent #1, who quite awhile back claimed that as her flower. So, there are two kids unrepresented as yet. I figure I'll wear my purple socks to represent #4, and my new shoes have pink swooshes which will stand for #7. There, everyone will be present and accounted for.

So, tonight, we decorate the van and then tomorrow morning at 9:30, we're off to the starting line.

Wish me luck.

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Hurry! Count Your Blessings!

Here are my gratitudes for today:

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1. Summertime - I'm having a lazy morning. It's payday, so I'm getting the budget all set for the month. I'm grateful for the chance to just sit here and get it done and not have to hurry about getting kids out the door. That's coming sooner than I'd like. It's been a great summer. We didn't plan a big vacation because of our Spring Break trip, but we've done little jaunts here and there. There have been lots of trips to the fountains in the area, a couple runs to the beach, a trip to Seattle for the Warden and me, and the vacation will end with the Portland to Coast relay for me and something yet-to-be-determined for Labor Day. #3's birthday is the day after school starts. For her, that means, the first day of school. The Freshmen go on the actual first day. She and #2 will go the day after. Happy birthday to her!

   

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2. Good food - I've been struggling with stomach problems for months now. I believe I've mentioned that before. It's not been fun. I started by cutting out white flour, sugar, and other processed foods. It helped quite a bit. I'm now down to whole foods. It makes me happy to be at least trying to get healthy things into my body. I'm hoping it will pay off over the long run, and I'm sure it will. Cooking so simply is a bit of a challenge. For some reason, in my mind, I feel like making dinner has to be so complicated. Chicken breasts, broccoli, and quinoa just doesn't seem like it can be difficult enough to be considered dinner.
3. People who say it how it is - Maybe I live in the wrong culture, but I LOVE people who will just come up and tell you what's up even if it's something they know you don't want to hear. My brother that was just here is that way. I love that I never wonder where I stand with him. If there's ever a problem, he'll tell me, and we'll work it out. I love people like this.

For today, I need to take a three mile walk and get some new socks for this weekend's face. The budget is almost done, but of course, it doesn't quite add up, so I have some more slicing and dicing to do. I need to go get the cash and set up the kids' accounts for the new school year.

We, in the next couple days, will all write to #1, and I need to start getting her birthday package ready.

Our temple is now open, so I want to get over there.

I think for this new school year, I'm going to undertake a plan to have a freezer cooking day once a month or so. I've read about this but have never done it myself. Now that we're eating so much simpler, maybe this is something I can do.

Good Things Going On

I've been working so long on that cleaning post that I refused to do my gratitude post until it was done. Well, this is long overdue, so here we go....

1. An exercise buddy - I'm getting ready to walk the Portland-to-Coast next weekend. Am I ready? Not even. I'm getting slower with every trip out. Whatever! I'm just going to go for it and hope it all works out. I have a great team, so I hope they'll make up for my lack. Regardless of all this, I have some great workout buddies. One night, #4 went with me on his roller blades. It was my fastest time so far. Other times, #3 has gone with me. We went seven miles the other night. KILLER! It is so fun to go with them. We, by the time we get home, have all the world's problems solved. So GREAT! So glad I don't have to search very far to find someone to go with me.
2. The recent visit of my brother's family - Wow! So many great times this past few days. I was sad to see them leave. There is so much gratitude all wrapped up in that five days, I don't know where to begin. Here's a short list--having cousins spend the night, barbecue with the family, Seaside and lots of time in the sand and the water, Lost Lake and pedal boats, raspberries and gravenstein apples, impersonations in the back seat of the car that had me laughing to the point of tears. This list could go on and on and on. I look forward to their next visit.
   
3. My presidency - Oh wow! These three ladies are SO wonderful! Last night, although we've been planning this for a long time and were hoping to do it to celebrate the year being half over, we met up at Moonstruck Chocolate for milkshakes and held our meeting right there. I love working with these women. Each brings something different to the table, and we seem to complement each other so well. I couldn't ask for better. Being with them is one of the highlights of my week every week.

So, here's the scoop for the day....

• #2 gets his senior portraits taken tonight. We'll be taking a trip out to beautiful Dallas, Oregon to meet up with Julia Shinkle. We love her!
• #5 has a soccer tournament this weekend, but because they've moved him to a different team, I need to go get the appropriate jersey and shorts today. **Sigh**
• I've got to get some groceries.
• I have some articles to finish up.
• Maybe a trip to the fountain is in order for the day as well. It's a bit overcast, but it's still plenty warm.
• I've also set a goal to have each family member write #1 a Dear Elder letter once a week and then write her an email on the weekend. We'll see if I can persuade them to do that.
• I started reading the Percy Jackson series to #5 and Sideways Stories from Wayside School to #6. I'm looking forward to moving to the next chapter with both of them today. Fun times!

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Overjoyed

This gratitude list thing is kind of magical.

My list, this morning, will be SUPER easy. I feel overjoyed. I'll share why in a minute.

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Over the weekend, I had an interesting experience. I had an opportunity to get hung up on something negative and useless. For some reason, my gratitude list popped into my head just at that moment, and I realized that with so much good in my life, why should I give time to something so negative? What good would it do me? So, I chose to let it go and dwell on the good.

Magical, huh?

Okay, as promised, here is my list of gratitude for this morning (easy, breezy):

My siblings and me

1. Family - my brother and his family are in town. I picked them up from the airport on Saturday evening and they spent the night here. We spent Sunday afternoon at my oldest brother's home having a barbecue. Most of us were there. Yesterday, we went to the beach together--three brothers, their families and me and my kids (the Warden had to work--it's go time in the world of a school administrator). It was so great to be around them all.
2. Being wanted - I thought, after spending so much of their vacation time with us, they'd want to have just some our-own-family time. This morning I got a phone call. My brother said they'd meet us at a certain exit on the freeway. It wasn't a question of did we want to go or anything. It was a "we'll meet you." I LOVED this. This was the happiest thing I could have heard. He WANTS us to be there. Oh, how I love to be wanted. With a big family, that is a rare occurrence--something that hasn't happened in a long time.
3. Missions - We received #1's email a day late. The town she's in was experiencing some flooding, so she and her companion spent their P-Day indoors. It was great that she was able to get out and write us. In the email, she mentioned "struggles." I will share here what I shared on Facebook. I figure there are people who read my blog who aren't my Facebook friends, and I think people need to know this fact. For those of you who are my Facebook friends, forgive me for the repeat:

image:
juliashinklephotography.com

A friend just wrote to me about receiving an email from #1. He mentioned "struggles" that she'd mentioned. I love #1's honestly and frankness, but for those who haven't served a mission and see those happy, smiling missionaries out there, this might come as a surprise--that they struggle. Here's what I shared with him....

"Love it! So glad she wrote back to you. Thank you for writing to her. Every missionary goes through a rather brutal tough patch in the beginning. She is no exception, so I'm sure your email was a HUGE lift for her--knowing that there's someone else out there rooting for her. Thanks...."

***

Having served a mission, I know how tough those first few months can be as you adapt to the job at hand. She is definitely having to step outside her comfort zone day in and day out. Learning a new language, adapting to a new culture and weather conditions all hit you at the same time.

I have no doubt she'll come through with flying colors, but she, like every missionary out there, has to learn to look past herself and her own needs and learn to fill the needs of those around her. So different from the life of most 19-year-olds out there.

She isn't unusual. She's just like every missionary you meet on the street. That's what they go to do--
struggle, stretch, and serve.

I have shared with her many times as she was growing up just what that was all about. I didn't want her to get the impressing that a mission was all sunshine and roses. You only ever hear the missionaries who have returned home tell you all the wonderful experiences they've had, so you get the impression that that's all that happens. It's not. It's totally different when you're actually living it. The successes come, but not without a lot of struggle and sacrifice.

She will struggle, and it will be great. That means she's not holed up in her apartment reading books. She's actually out there living it and doing it and pushing herself and reaching out and seeking to serve. YAY!!!

Although I hate to read that she's struggling, that really ends up being the happiest news of the day.

image: pacificcreststock.com

I will post her latest email later today. For now, I've got to get ready to go to the lake. I'm wanted there. YIPPEEEE!

What I'm Grateful For

The top three things I'm grateful for this morning....

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1. Flexibility - I love that I can take what I'm not liking about life and turn and change it and do whatever I think might remedy the situation. I love that the kids are out of school and that if we want to drop everything and run to Ikea for a good ol' dose of Swedish meatballs, we can.
2. Books - I'm a huge stickler, during the summertime, about

   

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   my kids having screens in front of their faces. It just REALLY bugs! We have so many months of rain here that for the kids to sit holed up in front of a screen just really seems like a slap in the face of sunshine. When it's so gorgeous outside, I believe that's where they need to be. I love, though, that their brains can be fed and they can escape to other places through good books. Those can be taken anywhere. I love reading to my kids right now. #7's really into fairy tales. Her favorites right now are Goldilocks and Cinderella. To be honest, I'm kind of getting tired of reading them, but at least she wants to be read to, so what's another 46 times, give or take? #6 is reading the Magic Treehouse books, but I don't feel like we've really come across what he LOVES to read. I hope we find it soon.



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3. Prayer - I'm trying. I really am. These past few weeks have been tough ones. I'm not gonna lie. There is so much to do and so little motivation. The reason I undertook to write this list was that I'd hoped it would cheer me up a bit. I'm still waiting for it to do that. I'm trying to look at the bright side of life. I've been on my knees a lot lately without a lot of apparent answers. I know that I need to keep at it. For today, my goal is to keep a prayer of gratitude in my heart at all times. You know, my life isn't terrible. It's actually pretty darned sweet. It's just a few things that are bogging me down, and they're things I can totally control, but part of that control is the ability to look at them from a different, more positive, what-can-be-learned angle. That is my goal for today.

Today, there's a party to prepare for, we've got guests coming for the weekend, and I've got a walking relay to prepare for. I think I have a new walking buddy, so that should make this preparation a lot of fun.

Many Hands

It feels like I've woken in heaven....


Yesterday was a soccer tournament for #5. On our way home, the Warden and I promised milkshakes to the kids once the house was clean.

I went out and did the grocery shopping and hoped that the house would be clean upon my return. Guess what....It wasn't, but the kids were having a fabulous time out in the sunshine, jumping on the trampoline in the backyard.

Evening came. The house still wasn't clean. #2 came to me and said, "Mom, you have to assign the kids jobs, or it'll never happen." Of course, what was I thinking?

I created a small list of jobs and called all the kids together. They sat on my bedroom floor, and I read the jobs off to them. I put one extra job--helping #7. Whoever helped #7 got extra milkshake (there was a brief hum of kids whispering among themselves and dibsing who got to work with the youngest and who couldn't handle it).

Kids were then randomly selected to choose the job they wanted, and I set them to work. #2 was given first option to work with #7, but since #3 already had kitchen duty and #7 had dishes, it just seemed to make sense to everyone that the two girls work together.

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Within 15 minutes, the house was clean, and I was downstairs with the blender a-whirring. #3 got extra, and no one complained.

I'm so grateful for my clean house and my cleaners. What a wonderful way to start the day!





Hoping your day has started off beautifully as well,

Cram One More Thing In

I thought I might add one other thing into this new writing tradition....dinner.

Tonight, we had teriyaki chicken:

image: lilluna.com

1 C. water
1 C. sugar
1 C. soy sauce
some garlic
chicken pieces

Throw them in the crockpot on low for 6 hours or high for 3 hours and serve over rice.


Okay, now for the good and bads of the day:

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Someday, I'm going to learn, but I'm fearing that it may be too late. I guess what I'm saying is that I might now be considered an "old dog." New tricks are just not my thing. I continually try to do "one more thing" throughout my day, and with this comes a chaos. I'm always in a rush. I think I'm finally deciding that that's just who I am. That's how I roll.

image: waltworks.blogspot.com

My brother was in town last week. As we talked, it became apparent that I may be sharing too much here, in his opinion. Well, he's going to love my first bad....Talk about TMI. I figure there might just be a mom or two out there who might just commiserate with me and my life. They might nod and smile along with what I write as they read. I hope this is the case, anyway.

We were raised in a very hush, hush household. There were too many taboo topics to number. Someday, maybe I'll make a little list for you.

So, consider yourself warned....TMI ahead.



Bads

• Not on the floor?!

I went to a public place today--a museum, actually. I needed to speak with the curator and spent quite a bit of time talking to her. I had a little entourage of four with me. I had told the kids before we walked in that they were not to touch anything and this was an adult place, so in order to go in, they needed to act like little grown ups. They did a good job.

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After a few minutes of me speaking to the curator, #7 came up to me and told me that she needed to go to the bathroom. Being relatively new to using public facilities, #7 does what each of my children did at this stage in life--ask to go to the bathroom anywhere and everywhere. I guess you could say she's becoming a connoisseur of public restrooms. She could probably tell you where the best place to go in the entire Beaverton area, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, this museum was no different. The little girls room was calling her.

I had the kids dressed in swimming suits as there is a park with a fountain close by. I thought that if they could do a good job on this errand, they could be rewarded with some fun time in the water.

The kids kept wanting to go into a back room. They knew they shouldn't, so they stood at the entrance and looked in. The restroom was in the back of this area, but clearly written on the door were the words "Not a public restroom."

#7 kept coming up and pleading with me. I finally said, "Well, then, we'll just get in the car and go home. Her response was immediately, "Oh, never mind. I don't need to go bathroom."

Within moments there was a new water feature in the museum. Ugh! EMBARRASSING!

I went and got some carpet cleaner and took it to the museum. 

• Trying to cram more things into small spaces.

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I went to pick #5 up at the church today from Cub Scout day camp. There was a blood drive going on. 

As I pulled into the parking lot and saw the signs, I remembered that I had missed the last one, so I thought it might be a good thing to do this time. I pondered my schedule for the rest of the afternoon and evening and found that the only time I had available was during that next hour. I could do this. I was sure I could.

I need to add that while I waited, my cell phone died. 

#5 got into the car and the plan was created. At this point, I had six children in my care--three ten-year-old boys and three younger children.

There is an elementary school across the street from the church. I decided that I'd take the kids to the playground and let them play. I would run across the street on foot and do my thing. They would then have the car at their disposal if they needed it. I left it unlocked but took the keys with me.

I borrowed every phone I could, knowing that the Warden would be heading home and would pass the school, to reach him to have him stop by the school and watch over the kids for a few minutes. I heard nothing from him.

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Never have I wanted to bleed faster. I knew once I was hooked up, there would be no escape. The pressure was on. Thankfully, I got in there, got it done, and everything was fine, but my stress level was HUGE.

There's more to this story than I'm sharing, but that would make but another bad thing, and I've limited myself to two, so there. Let's just say that I was supposed to be home by 5pm in order for a mom to come pick up her boys, but I didn't get home until 5:13. I had missed her, and I was sure she had stressed about where I was and where her boys were.

When I finally spoke with her, she had been late, so she thought it was her fault because I had to have #5 to soccer practice by 5:30. Ah well. It all worked out, but it doesn't change that fact that maybe everything would have been solved if I hadn't decided to give blood.

Goods

• Parks.

image: juliashinkle.com

I have been a mom to two for these past three days. #1 is obviously not around. #s 2 and 3 have been a EFY (an LDS youth conference kind of thing). #4 has been at scout camp (surviving, literally). #5 has been spending his days at Cub Scout day camp. That leaves #s 6 and 7 in my care. To be honest, it's been pretty sweet! It's been fun to focus on just the two of them. We went to the movies, just us three, yesterday and bought a big ol' $8 popcorn and had it refilled just before we went home. Sa-WEET!

Anyway, today ended that. I have the little girl I keep every Thursday and her older brother. It's been great because they play so well with #s 6 and 7.

image: kuik

We went from park to park to park today. Including the fountain and elementary school playground I mentioned above. All in all, I think we must have gone to five different parks today.

• Spiritual highs.

I LOVE picking my kids up from EFY. I think I told you this a couple days ago. The first day was wonderful, Tuesday and Wednesdays were okay, but tonight was a total spiritual high. 

The kids dress up one day during EFY. The kids looked so sharp when they left this morning.

#2 went home with some friends to play games afterward, so it was just me and #3 for the ride home. She went through all of her notes and shared everything she'd learned and what it meant to her. I feel honored to be entrusted with such experiences and feelings.

• Milkshakes.

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I make a KILLER peanut butter chocolate milkshake. I made them for the third time this week tonight. I really have done well to cut back on my white sugar intake, but this one just can't be avoided...yet. I have cut out the white flour--the stomach pains just aren't worth it.

Tomorrow, #1 gets her travel plans. She'll depart from the MTC within the next two weeks and will be on her way to the very rainy Philippines. We'll read about all of this in her email on Saturday.

Also tomorrow, I'm off to Cub Scout day camp to hang out with my good buddy Tonya.

Once all of this week's activities are over, next week will be surprisingly mellow, but you know I probably won't allow it to be that way. It's the old dog in me.

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A Rockin' Day

Two bads, three goods, folks....Away we go!


Bads

• Had to do a timed three-mile walk today, so while #5 was having soccer practice, I went out with my little Nike+ thingy in my shoe and went for it on the track. As I would walk around the track and would get to the far side, each time, I would pass this extremely awkward couple that had draped themselves across lanes 7 and 8. They were in a rather intimate position there, so I tried not to look but pretended that the soccer field was so very interesting.

As I would pass, they would laugh. I didn't think much of it until #6 ran toward me on the track to hug me. As he did so, I said, "Are you coming to walk with me?" Within moments, as if there were a parrot behind me, a woman's voice (the one draped over lane 7) was mimicking me. Hmm....Interesting. I continued to walk. Whatev. Just strange. Haven't experienced anything like that since maybe....middle school?

• Cub Scout day camp rocked, but port-a-potties didn't. They were actually very nice port-a-potties, as those kinds of things go, but still....If I can avoid using the facilities in times like these, I will. Well, it couldn't be avoided all day long...unfortunately.

Goods

• I'm going to see if I can explain this as briefly as possible but still have it make sense. When things started out with our day camp registration, we had quite a few boys going. Because of this, four of our boys were going to be combined with another smaller den of boys--a group our boys didn't know. 

As of yesterday, boys were dropping out, so we ended up with only needing to have one group. But, because we were leaving this other group in the lurch as far as leaders were concerned, we promised them we'd provide an additional leader for them for today, as was originally promised, so that they could find an additional leader for each of the other days this week. Does that make sense?

Well, today, I was that leader for the other group. It was the SWEETEST group of boys. There were four of them. Because there were only four, there were open spots on the archery range, so we, the two adults, were invited to join in. I had never shot a bow and arrow before. It was SO fun! I actually got two bull's eyes. Yeehaw!

It was fun to go to day camp and get to be one of the guys. Our last station was the bottle rockets. Thought I'd share just what the bottle rocket station entailed with a short video of #5 (Thanks, Jon!):

Our little group followed my own ward's group (with #5 in it) all day. I met up with them just as they were moving on to the next station.

As I said before, water rockets was our last station before going home. We got in there and started filling the bottles halfway, putting them on, and pumping the air into the bottles. The rockets would fly into the sky and droplets of water would fall on you.

Well, I was hot. I was tired. And those little droplets of water just weren't cutting it, so I turned to the boys and said, "I want to get wet." Well, that was all the invitation those boys needed. We spent the next 20 or 30 minutes dousing each other with water. We were running and laughing and having a BLAST! Just when I thought it was over and I'd start to dry, another boy would come along surreptitiously and pour water on me.

Seriously, I've volunteered at day camp for at least a day almost every year since #2 went (he's now 17), and this was by far my favorite memory. We even ambushed one of the staffers that just kept hanging out in the area.

When all was said and done, I stood there and the boys gathered 'round, big, huge smiles on their faces, water dripping from everything--hair, eyelashes, earlobes, and they asked, "Are you coming tomorrow?"

That made me so happy. I felt so loved and wanted.

Seriously, what a great day! I LOVED being one of the guys.

• We went to dinner as a family. I found a gift certificate for $15 for a local restaurant on restaurant.com and paid $2.40 for it. Our good friends walked in as we were eating and were seated in the table right behind us. FUN! Love you, Megan!
• Went to pick #2 and #3 up from EFY. I LOVE this experience! These kids are so enthusiastic and happy when they come home. It's fabulous. They told us about all the new friends they made and how they went about doing it. I budget money specifically for this experience for my kids all year long so that they can go and participate. Every year, I decide that it was definitely worth it and the following summer will include the same activity.

Okay, so in other news, #4 took off for scout camp at 5:15 this morning. From what I understand, he signed up for a basketry class and a horseback riding class. He is also going to have a survival experience one night (at least, I think it was only going to be for one night).

He woke me at 4am so that we could run and get him some last minute snacks to have for today. I jumped out of bed, and we hit the road. Should be a fun week for him.

Since he's gone, and I'm missing him tonight, I have to share one thing that #4 does that makes me giggle inside (Sorry, this was the only clip I could find that had the part I wanted. It doesn't even happen until 2:36 into the video--the very tail end. If you want to skip ahead, please do, but this scene is all so classic, so you may not want to. The winking part? AWESOME!)....

Whenever one of us says "I love you" to the other, we always follow it up with that last little thing Ferris does, the "I love you too. Mi mi mi mi" thing. Today, one of the kids said "I love you" to me. Of course, I said, "I love you too." But, "Mi mi mi mi," popped right into my head, and I instantly missed #4.

Tomorrow will be a day spent at home getting a package ready to send off to #1--getting a blanket and cookies made. I have some work to do and an interesting post to write for the Oregon Association of American Mothers, Inc. I'm looking forward to spending time with #s 6 and 7--just the three of us. I promised them chocolate peanut butter milkshakes at some point during the day.

Yep. Today was a good day. If I could spend everyday being a kid, man, I'd do it in a heartbeat, so glad I have the kids so I have the excuse. I just need to let my hair down more often. Who knows, maybe there'll be a water fight here tomorrow. I don't think I quite got my fill. Except, next time, I won't be wearing jeans and Converse.

So Much for 15 Minutes

I started studying something new this morning. I was really only going to spend 15 minutes on it, but the first question was this:

image: lds.org

"How did Joseph Smith’s reading and pondering of James 1:5 lead him to receive revelation?"

Well, I decided to write my answer down. As I did so, I decided that I want my children to know my feelings on this....

When we ponder, we open our minds further to additional information heaven has for us. When we hurry on, we lose the opportunities to learn more. 

image: Etsy.com

For me, there are tuggings that I feel. I can’t explain it, but there are times when I read or hear or see something and there is a brief moment of there-is-something-more-to-this-than-what-you’re-currently-seeing, and I know that I need to take a few moments to really think on it or study about it.

Once, a woman, who had just received and ignored a "tugging" experience and had some disastrous results, asked me if there were times when I ignored the Spirit’s promptings. I had to honestly answer, “Often.” She was surprised by this. 

image: arealchange.com

I realized that the Spirit whispers to me often, and there are many times when I don’t follow it. These times of tugging are some of those times. They come on often. They are invitations to slow down and become more aware--to receive answers, but I often find myself in too much of a hurry, and I think, "Oh, I'll do that later." Sadly, as you can guess, though, "later" never comes. I guess, in a way, I often allow myself, like a bull, to be pulled by the ring in my nose--no, don't worry, I don't really have one of those. The opportunities pass, and I have, yet again, missed out on what the Lord had to offer me. **sigh** Thankfully, though, there are many times when I do slow down and take the time to be taught from on high. Those are times I treasure. From those experiences, I have greater confidence that what I'm doing is the right thing for me or that what I'm learning is preparing me for the next step.

Right now, our family is working on reading the Book of Mormon completely before the end of the summer. To be honest, though a worthy goal for my kids, it’s making me crazy! 

One thing I love about the Book of Mormon is that I often feel tuggings as I read. Actually, now that I think about it, when I read it in the way that it was meant to be read—slowly, deliberately, and with a lot of thought in an attempt to understand how it applies to my life—I might even venture to say those tuggings are daily. It may even be that reading the Book of Mormon is what first made me understand that those tuggings exist.

image: dimensionsinfo.com

With this barreling through the Book of Mormon process that we have going on here right now, I feel like I’m missing so much. I feel like my eyes are skimming across the top of the Grand Canyon, and I’m missing what lies deeper. I’m missing the grandeur of this great book.

The promise at the beginning says, “A man [will] get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts.” Maybe this little exercise this summer is teaching me this by contrast. As I skim, I feel farther removed. I feel like I'm missing the whole point. I definitely miss my verse or two a day experiences. I miss those tuggings.

In that same introductory page, this promise is given:

"We invite all men everywhere to read the Book of Mormon, to ponder in their hearts the message it contains, and then to ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ if the book is true. Those who pursue this course and ask in faith will gain a testimony of its truth and divinity by the power of the Holy Ghost. (See Moroni 10:3–5.)"

And so I wonder, those who say we are brainwashed, could it just be that there is a power from heaven that the average John Doe on the street hasn't experienced, and therefore, doesn't understand? Could it be that those tuggings await us all? Could it be that all it takes to get them is an awareness that they exist and an attempt to receive them?

As I implied earlier, those tuggings aren't just reserved for when I read scripture. They come on often. I just believe that the exercise of reading has opened a whole new aspect of life--the ability to recognize tuggings.

image: musiccourtblog.com

I don't believe that heaven is that far away. I do believe that doors are open to us to get us back there and there are things here to help us have a successful life. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to be LDS to read the Book of Mormon. It may lead you there eventually, but anyone can read it. I also need to assert that these same feelings can be found by reading any of God's words.

When I was a youth, my passion was for the Bible, particularly for the New Testament. I would stay up late at night reading and pondering. Nightly, my dad would knock on my bedroom door and tell me to "Go to sleep." It's not that I didn't feel those feelings back in those days; actually, maybe it's those very feelings that kept me reading each night. It's just that the feelings were stronger once I delved into the Book of Mormon.

image: mormon.org

I guess if I were searching for guidance, if I wanted to understand God and have His guidance in my life, the Book of Mormon's the first place I would look. Not necessarily because of the words it contains (although, those are important too), but because of the feelings I get when I study it. Joseph Smith received revelation because he took the time to ponder. I'm glad to know that I can too. It's just amazing to me that his ponderings and subsequent revelation have led to my ability to have the same.

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