What's Up With the Hearts?!

For #1's Valentine's package this past February, I asked people to write messages to her, and I glued them onto hearts that I cut out of cute paper. The paper has been sitting on a shelf high up in my closet ever since. It has gone untouched.

Last week, I was having a really hard time feeling motivated toward anything. It may just have to do with the idea that it's summer, and I'm adjusting to a new way of doing things, but I knew I had to do some major housework and had to get the kids involved.

I created a list and pulled the kids in, and once things got moving, we were in good shape.

I started in on my jobs. I went into my room to fold some laundry. When I turned to walk back out, there was a tiny heart cut from the cute paper on my bedroom floor.

I went into the laundry room to throw another load in, and as I walked back into the bedroom, there in the hall just outside my bedroom was another heart.

I went into the bathroom to scour the toilet. I came back out, and guess what….Yep, yet another heart.

This actually went on until there were five of them. Weird!

As I shared in my last post, I'm trying to make prayer figure more and more into my daily struggles. I'd been up for a couple hours this morning and decided that prayer was necessary. I went to my closet and knelt in a place where I usually don't. Before I closed my eyes, I glanced in front of my nose, and there were three tiny paper hearts.

So funny! I guess someone's trying to show me some love. HaHa!

For Everyone

I ran across this this morning. Loved it. Wanted to save it, so here it is…..

"Washed Clean"

by

Boyd K. Packer

In ancient times the cry “Unclean!”

Would warn of lepers near.

“Unclean! Unclean!” the words rang out;

Then all drew back in fear,

          

Lest by the touch of lepers’ hands

They, too, would lepers be.

There was no cure in ancient times,

Just hopeless agony. 

          

No soap, no balm, no medicine

Could stay disease or pain.

There was no salve, no cleansing bath,

To make them well again.

But there was One, the record shows,

Whose touch could make them pure;

Could ease their awful suffering,

Their rotting flesh restore.

          

His coming long had been foretold.

Signs would precede His birth.

A Son of God to woman born,

With power to cleanse the earth.

The day He made ten lepers whole,

 The day He made them clean,

 Well symbolized His ministry

 And what His life would mean.

          

However great that miracle,

This was not why He came.

He came to rescue every soul

From death, from sin, from shame.

          

For greater miracles, He said,

His servants yet would do,

To rescue every living soul,

 Not just heal up the few.

          

Though we’re redeemed from mortal death,

We still can’t enter in

Unless we’re clean, cleansed every whit,

From every mortal sin.

          

What must be done to make us clean

We cannot do alone.

The law, to be a law, requires

A pure one must atone.

          

He taught that justice will be stayed

Till mercy’s claim be heard

If we repent and are baptized

And live by every word. …

          

If we could only understand

All we have heard and seen,

We’d know there is no greater gift

Than those two words--“Washed clean!”

The Paranoid Parent of Teenagers

3:15, the dog wakes me up. What’s her deal? She pees all the time lately. She’s getting to be an old dog, I guess. Wow! That was fast!

I get up to let her out because that’s what I do. That’s why I exist…to her. I am the one who will respond and always have, so no one else has had to. No one else is in practice for this kind of work—just me.

Okay, so here’s the problem. It’s now 4:03am. Nearly an hour I’ve been laying here. First, I climb back into bed with complete hope that I will be able to just dose back off….Then my feet start to itch. I’m talking full on itchiness. I try to ignore them. Sometimes this works and the itchiness goes away. Well, it does…kind of. There are other times that I give in and scratch them, and I scratch them and I scratch them, and somehow, that satisfies things so I can go back to sleep.

No sleep. I realize that when I went down to let the dog out, just as my feet hit the bottom stair, that a
door downstairs banged against the door frame—as if someone had pushed against it. Uh oh! Is someone in the house? Add to that the fact that as I go to check it out, I see a light on under the door to the garage. Has someone gone in or out during the night?

And so it begins….The mom worries. Ugh! Totally FORGET sleep. I’m so done!

My brain starts creating possibilities….If I were a teenager, what would I do? If I were a teenager who really had no understanding of a parents worries, what would I try to get away with?

Seriously serious situations enter my brain. The door bangs again—3, 4, 5 times. Okay, that’s it! There is no pattern to the banging, and it really is just one bang and then nothing and then another bang a few minutes later. Is there a window open because someone’s gone out of it? Is someone paying someone a midnight visit? What is going on?

Well, let’s just say I’m grateful for the flashlight app I downloaded on my phone, but I’m cursing the creaking stairs. Ugh! Darned old house. A dead give away for sure. They’ll hear me coming and quickly act like they’re sleeping…..At least that’s what I would have done at their age.

Yup. I know it all. I was one once. Loved my parents dearly, but y’know, a kid’s gotta be a kid—but not on my watch. Why do I think it’ll be any different for me than it was for my parents? Well, that’s exactly it!.... I don’t.

That’s why I’m up.

Just for the record....Everyone was in bed. No windows or doors were open, but my imagination still was and the door continues to bang.

Happy 5:30!

Ten Random Minutes: To Shovel or Not to Shovel

image: mrboll.com

Forgive me for interrupting my own train of though yet again, but that's just the way this random brain of mine works…..


This morning, I ran across a question from a woman who's new to my area. She asked if anyone was renting from an apartment complex around here where the sidewalks are being kept up in this snow we're experiencing.

Everyone was replying that no, they were not.

Then, another woman chimed in that she used to manage in Washington state and that it is foolish to try to. When a manager shovels and attempts to de-ice the walkways, sometimes they can become more slick. A person can fall and sue.

WHAT?!

Then you think well, what happens when they don't and someone falls, can't they be sued for that as well. Really, we're just damned if we do, and we're damned if we don't. Screwy!

I have a friend who manages apartments, and I know for a fact that she was out shoveling her walks last night. She called us because she wanted advice on how to do it best. Clearly, this woman cares about her tenants. She also has a kind heart and doesn't think about the other side of that coin--that there are rude and vindictive people out there.

Here's what really bugs, though….It seems that once something is in the legal books, there it remains to draw upon for time immemorial.

How do we change things like this? I feel like it's kind of like cleaning out the fridge….You have so much old nasty stuff on the records--things that really shouldn't be there--that the mold and scum dominate, and the good stuff can't be found.

Clearly, my friend isn't out to make someone fall. If anything, she's attempting to make her tenants lives easier. Yet, the written laws make her out as a criminal for doing a kind act--this can be applied in so many situations in our world. It's maddening.

I believe that laws should be out to punish criminals--those who do things to intentionally screw people over. Now that this law is in the books, though, we have punished kindness.

Wow! This just gets me all riled up inside.

I shared about my friend after this woman's comment, and she urged me to warn my friend against doing it. If she gets sued, she could "lose everything."

This is so frustrating!

Ten Random Minutes: Anodyne vs. Evil

We interrupt the regularly scheduled topic for yes,….a rant.
For some reason, these 10 minute time limits just make other topics build up until I just can't contain them any longer. So, for today, here you go…..



What on earth is wrong with Miriam-Webster?

image:
thisandthatforkids.wordpress.com

I enjoy a good dictionary for what it can teach me about this ever evolving language that we speak. This morning, I was studying about satan. Yup…I was. I'm not even kidding. It's not like I want to be his minion or anything. Actually….it's that I don't.

When I was a kid, I remember being taught how to respond in certain situations…..If someone offers you drugs, do this…..If someone wants to cheat off of you in school, do this…..

I had those things down. I knew just what to do in SO many situations.

The sad thing is, I grew up. Suddenly, no one was telling me what to do or not to do in life's situations. I mean, the most I knew going into adulthood was that if I'm ever in a car accident, I'm supposed to call my insurance agent, but you know, life just doesn't come with a manual once you're out on your own.

So, I guess I've figured that the time has come to create my own.

At this point in life, I figure anything goes. But the biggest question of all is am I prepared for what lies ahead? What will my kids be throwing at me as they hit adulthood? What will others throw at me as I move beyond this phase in life? What about all of those who think I need to be thinking like them when I don't think like them at all? How do I respond to them? Am I ready for what life has in store for me?

I've decided that the one thing I'm sure of is that that guy I mentioned at the beginning of this post?...I don't want to be anything like him.

I figure that if I don't want to be like him, I'd probably better be doing the opposite of what he stands for. If he represents evil, then I want to represent ALL that opposes that.

So, in an attempt to create my manual for myself, I decided that the dictionary was as good a place as any to turn. If I went to "evil" on the Miriam-Webster dictionary app I downloaded onto my phone, I could then look at the antonyms, and I'd be good to go. Those words would give me a plethora of things to strive for.


Here's the list I found:

• anodyne
• benign
• harmless
• hurtless
• innocent
• innocuous
• inoffensive
• safe

Puh-leeeze! What the heck is that? The opposite of evil is safe? Huh? Since when? I don't get this at all.

If I had read this from an actual book, I would have burned it, but that wouldn't have been innocuous or inoffensive, would it? Instead, I deleted the app. Much more passive aggressive of me, wouldn't you say?

Instead, I crossed my fingers and went back to the app store. There, I found Dictionary.com and uploaded it…..

• auspicious
• decent
• good
• honest
• moral
• sinless
• upright
• virtuous

Yay! Yes, those are the things I want to be. Forget safe, I want to be moral. In these days, being moral is anything but safe.

Then I got to thinking about satan and how he works, and I believe that what I found in Miriam-Webster is just exactly what he wants. He wants us to believe that there is no evil and/or good. There just is. It's all just shades of gray. He doesn't want people believing that he even exists because as long as we don't believe in him, he can get away with whatever he darned well pleases. He has free reign.

Then, I get a little baffled by things in this world….When we have a choice, and when we know from childhood--through trial and error--that good choices bring good consequences and bad choices bring bad consequences, why would we abuse the choice we're given so much as to choose bad?

I think I've decided that it's because the bad choices are the easier ones to make. They don't fight gravity. They don't rise above. They just are.

So, Miriam-Webster, I think you've sold out. I think in selling out, you sell out society. Yay for Dictionary.com. I'm a fan. Forget "innocent" and "innocuous" and for heaven's sake, "anodyne." I want to be "good," "decent," "moral," and "virtuous." Thank you, Dictionary.com, for keeping these ideals alive. Thank you for giving us something to espouse, something to hold on to in this ever changing world of gray.

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Ten Random Minutes: Sad Missionary Moms

This is as tough-love post. If you get your feelings hurt easily, either gird up your loins and trudge forward, being willing and ready to forgive, or don't read this post.

Consider yourself forewarned…..




Okay, I'm straying from the Facebook topic. If I have time to get back to that today, I'll complete those thoughts then.

I think for today, with my ten minutes, I want to throw a bit more of a preface out there.

I have a peeve. I'm not sure how or why I have this peeve, but I do. I know I used to do it, and maybe I still do at times, but somehow I've learned a bit of how to overcome it. I think it's from being married to the kind of guy who doesn't do this.

In short, I can't stand it when people sit around and gripe or moan or complain about things just to gripe or moan or complain.

Let me clarify…..I think it's a complete waste of time to just sit there feeling sorry for yourself with no intentions of doing anything to make your situation better.

Let me clarify further…..I miss my daughter. I do. But, the alternative, that of having her come home, would be MUCH worse! I love what she's doing and where she is. I love that she's touching lives and having her own changed at the same time--exponentially. I love that she's serving the Lord and growing closer to Him and really creating a relationship with Him. What could be better than that?….Being home? NO WAY!

There are times when I chime in on my Facebook wall that I miss her. I do. No question. She's one of my very dearest, closest, sweetest friends, but I'm not going to sit and perseverate on the idea that she's gone and "woe is me," etc. What a TOTAL waste of time! So, I can promise you that, while I may write that, I'm not sitting there wiping my face on my sleeve, dripping saltwater on the couch. It's really just because some Taylor Swift song has come on the radio and my daughter has entered my mind.

Lately, I've run across a lot of crying, wailing missionary moms. Don't
get me wrong. I don't mean to criticize. Everyone deals with stuff in different ways, and if that works for you, great. But, eventually, you've got to put your big girl panties on and leave your kid to the Lord and His teaching. Yes, every situation is different, but regardless, when he/she accepted that call, Heavenly Father promised that come what may, He's got his/her back. Trust!

In this day, we are very close technologically to everyone. You know lots of things that are in my closet, and I know some of what's in yours, but sometimes there has to be a distance. For example, my daughter's Mission President is in our Facebook group. Not many greater men exist, as far as I'm concerned. What a privilege for my daughter to get to serve under such a man's leadership. Because he's in the group, I could, at any moment, Facebook message him and ask him the scoop. I could tell him how I feel things should be. I totally could, and I'm aware of this power that Facebook has given to all of us. But, when my daughter submitted those mission papers, I committed that this was her baby--not mine. She belongs to the Lord, not me. I need to take a few giant steps backward.

No, I am not the kind who likes to sit around feeling sorry for myself. If there's something I can DO to feel productive and something I can DO to help alleviate those feelings, I will. I have heard the words: "Wow! My mom was never that involved in my mission" from a few people. Back in the day of handwritten letters, envelopes, and stamps, they couldn't be. But when I receive a transfer letter about my daughter from the mission home, it encourages us to "be a part of your daughter’s missionary service by writing to your daughter’s investigators and new converts, and express your love and your testimony of the Gospel."

This gives me an opportunity to be an influence for good on my daughter's mission. Am I in her face trying to control her actions or what happens to her next? No. I figure, I am not involved in "my daughter's" mission. I am, however, involved with the Philippines Olongapo Mission. I care about the people of that area of the world, and I care about those who serve there. I want to see everyone there succeed.

Because of that, there have been experiences that have opened up. There have been things to do. There have been wonderful experiences. Do these involve my daughter? No, not directly, but they do touch the lives of those she serves and those she serves with, and therefore, yes, they do involve her.

If you're sitting around missing a missionary, isn't that wonderful? Wonderful that you have that kind of bond in a world where so many don't….but seriously, would you ever want to deny him/her this experience? This once in a lifetime chance?

If you're looking for something to do to get past those feelings, get up and do. There is so much good to be done, and you have so much good to give. Use your energy on blessing someone's life instead of feeling so sorry about yours.

There are missionaries everywhere. There are some who receive nothing from home. There are some for whom there is no "home." Have you wondered about them? That is where your energy can be well spent. Then, there are those your missionary rubs shoulders with daily--people they teach, members in the ward they're serving in. How can you buoy them up? How can you let them know that you know they exist and that you care about them.

There really is so much to be done. This is just one small way to keep the good going and growing in this world.

We've Gotta Have Guts

I just can't get this out of my mind…..

Yesterday, a friend expressed some concerns about wanting to express an opinion but how she hated confrontation and just couldn't bring herself to say anything at all. I know that feeling. I try to remain silent, but the feelings just grow and grow until I have to get them out.

I tried to encourage her. I told her that those feelings are what make her unique. What good is it to be unique and yet not be able to express those very things that make you you?

Another friend said this, "I  know. I feel the same way. I console myself with the knowledge that very seldom does anybody's opinion actually influence the way somebody else thinks. So it's not like even if I DID have the guts to post, that anyone would thoughtfully consider it. Most people already have their mind made up. Maybe that doesn't help your situation at all, but it does help me."

UGH!!! We are squashed into silence by the vocal minority who are becoming more popular everyday.

We all have voices. Why can't we express our feelings? Why do we allow ourselves to be silenced out of the fear of being bullied?

And on the other hand, why are we all so easily offended by each other when we should be allowed to have our opinions and to express them freely and openly. I would venture to say that most of us have no intention of offending. We just want to express our opinions. It's when we share these things that we can see the viewpoints of others. We can instruct and be instructed. We can learn from each other and we can learn to appreciate each other for our similarities AS WELL AS our differences.

We weren't meant to be robots….All patterned after the same way of thinking.

We become offended when we think others are out to get us as individuals. I just don't think most people are out to do that. I just think we're all different. We weren't made to be the same.

And so, I share this again….





If you're offended? Get over yourself. It's not all about you. It's all about us as individuals and how we each feel. I'm pretty sure we don't all sit around thinking about how to offend the masses. These are the things that make us us. Give everyone a chance. We all have good to share even if part of it might not be just what you think.

If you're offended, ask for clarification. Share that it bothers you, but you might just learn something about that other person in the meantime….something you can value.

Brave!

A friend shared this on Facebook yesterday. I LOVED it. I had never heard this song before.

I have to be honest, and knowing where my brain is right now, you won't even question why, but as I watched it, I thought, "I wonder where these guys served their missions." Funny, huh? Yup. I'm a bit fixated. But seriously, what a great looking group of guys. I mean that in the way that I wouldn't be unhappy watching my daughters date any one of these guys.





As friends have commented on it, I have been drawn to watch it again. This time, though, I was caught by the words in this song. Let me share those with you....

You can be amazing

You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

Everybody’s been there, everybody’s been stared down
By the enemy
Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big and brave is

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

And since your history of silence
Won’t do you any good
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you




This was EXACTLY what I needed this morning. I have been silent. I have been holding my tongue. So many things to write and share, but I have wondered who even cared. Well, I've decided who cares if anyone cares. I need to "let the words fall out."

Now, I just need to watch this video a few thousand times a day to remind me what's really important. I need to be brave.

The Hubbub Over Missionary Blogs

Quite a bit of controversy has arisen over missionary blogs. There is even a big campaign right now about making them all private so that anyone who wants to read them has to ask the moderator for permission.

What?! Making missionary blogs private just seems so counterintuitive. From what I understood, there was supposed to be an increase in missionary activity online. Not less.

There is so much good that these young people are doing. To make these blogs less accessible on the Internet would greatly decrease the evidence of some of the greatest good that is going on in this world today. I'm sure you'd agree that we can all use every bit of good we can find.

The argument for private blogs is completely valid. Missionary safety is the biggest concern.

It is so great that a missionary's family members and/or friends will jump in to help record a missionaries experiences, but as a moderator for a missionary blog, if you have limited blogging experience, you may not be aware of the concerns or the safety issues. There are definitely some Internet etiquette and safety rules that need to be shared.

The fact of the matter is that in this day and age, you can't just throw every nitty gritty fact out to the world and expect everyone to be kind and courteous with it--let's think pigs and pearls, shall we? As members of the Church, we like to think that everyone out there is basing their lives on faith, hope, and charity and is trying to better themselves, but to be real, most people are not. There are people out there with questionable motives. Think: Seek "that all men might be miserable like unto [themselves]" (2 Nephi 2:27).

I have seen family blogs where the sidebar contains beautiful pictures of each of the family's children. Under each photo is the child's full name and date of birth. I just cringe when I see this knowing that ANYONE could do really evil things with just that information alone.

This is the kind of thing I'm talking about. We just must be wise.

In order to help you avoid some potentially bad things, let me give you a quick crash course....

First, let me state, just like the safety of your home, if someone desperately wants to get to you, they will find a way. You do all that you can and take every precaution available and then trust that everything will be fine. 

Here are a few precautions (I know there are more, so if you have found something additional that works, I hope you'll leave a comment so we can all benefit from what you've learned):

1. Write as if you're writing to the most depraved person that walks the earth. Never let your guard down, and never put too much information out there. If you have your doubts and wonder if what you're writing might not be appropriate, take that as your warning and cut it out.
2. Never use names. Of course, the name of the missionary will be obvious, but protecting the
   
   identity of other missionaries, investigators, family members, etc. is of utmost importance. Instead, use a first initial or some kind of descriptor for the person you're referring to.
3. Never, under any circumstance, speak ill of ANYONE (from companion to governmental system and everyone in between). This is one of those "Hmm....should I include this in the blog?" kind of questions. If you question it, delete it. So what if the post ends up being three words long? You just don't do it no matter how truthful it may be. It is just too damaging in the long run.
4. If you must place a mailing address, only include the address of the mission home. The current address is not a good idea for two reasons. First, it obviously makes a missionary more accessible to anyone who might want to harm him/her. Second, these addresses change frequently, so mailing to them just isn't the best idea. People can send mail through the mission home. It may take a few extra days for a missionary to get whatever it might be, but it's just better to preserve the missionary's safety.
5. Never put a map of the area where a missionary is serving on a blog. I actually think I have one of my daughter's first area. I was so excited about her first assignment that I was sure the rest of the world would be too. In hindsight, that was super dumb of me. I will never do it again. No matter how excited I may be.
6. Be SUPER careful about the photos you post. Either the missionary needs to ask the permission of those who appear in the photo to put it on the Internet, or photos need to be limited to the missionary whose blog it is and possibly his/her companion.

But the the question arises....what about preserving the actual record? When you've cut it all apart, what will you have left? Here are a couple of thoughts.....

• Before you post anything on the Internet, make sure to copy and paste the original email somewhere--a word document is great. Then print it and place it in a page protector in a binder.
• Here's what I do....I have created an additional private blog. I have invited no one else to view it. Each week, when my family writes to our daughter/sister, I copy and paste these into posts on this blog. When my daughter writes, I copy and paste those as well--unedited. The pictures she sends are also placed there. The plan is that one day, shortly after she returns home, we will upload this blog to a book-making site and format it to be printed into a nice book for her.

Oh, I have one additional comment to blog overseers....

image: chaseartist.com

One of my friends once said that in the comments of anything online is where the "Trolls lurk." This isn't always the case, but there just might be times when a troll happens along and writes a negative comment. This being the case you don't just want that showing up on your blog. So, please make sure that in the blog settings you have it set so that comments always go through you first. How do you do this? Let me show you.....

Log into the blog
Click on "Design" then "Settings" then "Posts and Comments."
Where you see "Comment Moderation," click "Always" and type in an email address.
.....And voila! You're good to go.

After you've done this, all comments will show up in two places--your email inbox and the "Comments" section after you've clicked on "Design."


So go ahead and write your missionary blog. Share it with the world, and while you're at it, take a little perusal of  Matthew 5:14-16. Just beware, the fierce winds are blowing. We must do what we can to not only keep the flame burning through our protection of it but see that this flame grows to the point of filling the earth.

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