2014: CoDo Fa ReSp

As I read through my Facebook feed, I found that many of my friends had a very tough 2013. I hope 2014 will be better for everyone!


Well, here we are. A new year's begun, and my plan is not set and ready. I'm waiting for what some might call the "muse" to strike. In other words, I feel like I'm on the brink of something wonderful, but I don't quite have a grasp of it yet.

Here's what's sitting in my brain….
I need to have daily tasks that fulfill my desire and get me where I want to be.


Here are the parts of that quote (from the previous post) that are resonating with me:

• Covenants
• Doctrine
• Faith
• Revelation
• Spirit

Not just keeping these things for myself but somehow extending them into my family as well. The hope is that by bringing these things more strongly into my life, other things of lesser priority will be eliminated from my life. In other words, the things I need in order to fulfill my mission here will remain, the fluff will disappear.

I don't think it's so much that things will magically poof out of my life, but that I will be directed more clearly on what stays and what goes so that I can make these decisions myself with more clarity and less doubt and concern.


Very briefly, here are my impressions as I look at the above list….

1. Covenants - The promises I've made with God; the promises He's made back with me. I find these strengthened when I take the sacrament at church on Sundays and when I attend the temple. Clearly, these two things will need to be a bigger part of my life in 2014.
2. Doctrine - The things taught by Jesus Christ and by prophets who testify of Him. This is a matter of studying scripture and other words of prophets. Scripture study, truly delving into the things my heart catches upon, and General Conference will be a higher priority this year.
3. Faith - Action! Acting in accordance with belief. Faith is something that needs to be exercised daily. This is where the little daily tasks will come into play. What would Jesus do?….Well, this year, I'd like to find out.
4. Revelation - This was the topic at church this past Sunday--personal revelation. I want to tap into this better. Heart-felt prayer and then listening for answers are key. 2014 will find me spending more time in my secret place asking for direction.
5. Spirit - This is kind of out of my control. This is what I hope to have a greater abundance of in my life this year, but it is the result of seeking for it more diligently and intently. I know from past experience, the more I listen and obey those feelings in my heart that come along with ideas in my brain, they grow and increase in number. This is my challenge and ties in with each of the points listed here.

Here's what I gather will be the priorities in 2014 from what I've just worked out (not in any particular order)….

• More intent/focused taking of the sacrament each week. [Sundays]
• Regular and increased temple attendance. [Tuesdays]
• Daily scripture study (feasting) and seeking out the words of the prophets.
• Intent and involved General Conference participation. [1st weekends in April and October]
• Relisten to a General Conference talk daily.
• Daily what-would-Jesus-do? tasks.
• Daily heart-felt prayer (at least twice a day).
• Keeping a prayer in my heart.
• Listen for, seek out, and recognize answers to prayers.
• Recognize the Spirit verbally or in written form when it is evident. 

For today, I've got my work cut out for me….Got to get out a calendar and plan my tasks. There you go, today's task: devise a nitty-gritty plan while spending some time on my knees.

CoDo Fa ReSp! Getting down to the things of my soul. 2014 is going to be AMAZING!

Overcome and Become

Notes taken from the talk "Clean Hands and a Pure Heart"

by David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles 

The gospel of Jesus Christ allows us to:

• avoid
• overcome
• be cleansed from sin and bad influences
• do good
• be good
• become better

This is done through:

• repentance of our sins 
• seeking forgiveness 

Necessary for our spiritual advancement, remission of sin is vital enough to make a daily priority.

The ultimate purpose of the gospel:

To have our hearts changed by the Holy Spirit to the point that "we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually" (Mosiah 5:2).

This is what we covenant to do. It's not that the covenant (and thus commitment) is made, and voila! I'm perfect. It's merely a commitment by normal, everyday people to try harder everyday and seeking the help of deity in doing so.

Mighty change:

Not brought about through an individual's hard work and/or personal discipline. 

Results from fundamental changes in:

• desires
• motives
• nature 

Only brought about through the Atonement of Christ. 

This is the UPWARD spiral!

The battle of this earth life:

  to overcome sin AND the desire to sin.

To rise above. To upward spiral. To reverse gravity in our spirits. To fly. To soar.

There are two requirements:

(1) avoid and overcome bad 

(2) do good and become better 

"Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place?

"He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully" (Psalm 24:3-4).

Interesting that here, the words "ascend" and "lifted up" are used. 

How does one do this? Here are some of the keys:

• Have clean hands.

   Do good. Seek to bless the lives of others.

• Have a pure heart.

   Pure motives. 

Is it possible to have clean hands but not have a pure heart?

Yes. 

How are hands made clean? 

• By seeking to be unselfish and generous toward others.
• By overcoming sin and evil influences through the Atonement. 

How are hearts purified?

• By receiving Christ's strengthening power to do good.
• By seeking to become better

No matter what we think or feel in our hearts; no matter what our motives are. No matter how good our works are, they can NEVER alone give us the clean hands and pure heart needed to upward spiral.

 There is a missing ingredient: The cleansing and redeeming power  of the Atonement of Jesus Christ! 

This is the ONLY way to overcome sin. 

The Atonement has a sanctifying and strengthening power.

This power helps us become better than we ever could by relying only upon our own strength. 

No one should overlook this power. 

"The infinite Atonement is for both the sinner and for the saint in each of us:"

For the sinner: repentance; cleansing.

For the saint: improvement

How exactly does one do these things? I want a step-by-step, nitty gritty plan for this. I want to know what exactly to teach my children. This is ultimately important. 

Here is the simple answer: 

From the Book of Mormon. King Benjamin taught about the mission of Jesus Christ--His Atonement. What he taught caused the hearers to fall to the earth because "...they had viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the earth. And they all cried aloud with one voice, saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who created heaven and earth, and all things; who shall come down among the children of men" (Mosiah 4:2; emphasis added).

image: lds.org

Is it really that easy? As easy as looking at a brass serpent on a pole? As simple as asking for it? Like asking your mom for a cookie?

Let's look at that again…

"...O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified…."

Is it really that easy? Easy? Yes, but as simple as asking for a cookie? Probably not. Desire and belief must be part of the equation--desire to have sins removed; to be clean and belief in the Savior Jesus Christ and his ability to forgive and cleanse through His Atonement.

Christ's Atonement offers us a twofold blessing:

•  forgiveness of sin = clean hands
•  transformation of our nature = pure hearts


Whenever human nature is mentioned, it takes my mind to Mosiah 3:19 -


"For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father."

Here is my commitment with the covenant I've made:

• "Yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit"
• Put off the "natural man."


Without the power of Christ's Atonement, I remain an "enemy to God," and I have no hope of fulfilling my part of the covenant. 


King Benjamin, in the Book of Mormon, reiterated the importance of these two basic aspects of spiritual development:

"And now, for the sake of these things which I have spoken unto you-that is, for the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God - I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor" (Mosiah 4:26).

What specifically should we seek?

• remission of sins from day to day
• to walk guiltless before God


When I go to be judged of Jesus Christ, I must have more than just clean hands. He is as "a lamb without blemish and without spot" (1 Peter 1:19). He freely spilled His blood for me, but it was wasted if I don't use it by desiring, believing, and asking for the power of this sacrifice to be applied to me.




Is this really attainable in my life? 

No one will be perfect in this life.

How to strive for perfection in this life:

• press forward with faith in Christ 
• find and follow the strait and narrow path 
• make steady progress toward our eternal destiny


How is it done?

•  "line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little" (2 Nephi 28:30).
• Small, steady, incremental spiritual improvements.
• Prepare to walk guiltless before God 


Not from sporadic spurts of intense spiritual activity—consistent behaviors.

This is what's so hard for me. Being consistent in anything is difficult. Fits and spurts are much more my style, but maybe the Atonement can help me with this too--self-control, persistence, consistency of behavior.

The only way to upward spiral.

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General Conference Thoughts: My Mom's Journey

 It's been 183 years since the Church was restored--in 1830. There were six members. There are now 15 million.

 Last year at this time, there were 58,500 full-time missionaries. Today, there are 80,333. It's astounding to think that last year, it wasn't even a thought in our home that we'd have our own missionary out in the world, but here we are, a year later, and she's been gone for some time now. Someday soon, I'll share the miracle that that is.

"Go ye therefore and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost" (Matthew 28:19).

"After all that's been said, the greatest and most important duty is to preach the gospel." --Joseph Smith

 It is to fulfill these words that missionaries are out, all over the world, searching for those who are seeking the truth.

I got to thinking yesterday about my family's history in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

It was not a "family tradition" to be a member of the Church. I do not have many pioneer ancestors who joined the Church back in or around 1830. I have one--the Riddle (my paternal grandmother's maternal) family. My paternal grandmother's father joined the Church later on as did my paternal grandfather and my mother.

Specifically, I got to thinking about my mom yesterday. And even more specifically, her search for truth. I got to thinking about the remarkable person she was (and is).

I have shared this before, but my mom's mom died when my mom was six. It was 1934. This has always been an astounding fact to me. The world was at war. The Great Depression was on. A very unsure time in our world, and a little girl loses her mom to cancer. In my mind, a great tragedy.

I have often wondered what it must have been like for her. Yesterday, my mind retraced these thoughts but from a different angle. What was it that made her so wonderful?

I had concluded, a long time ago, that these experiences from her childhood, played a huge role in that. But, yesterday, I thought of her journey....of her faith.

When she was a teenager, she attended a Lutheran summer camp with a friend. While there, she stood at the meeting when the pastor announced, "If you desire to follow your Savior, Jesus Christ, please stand." Before the end of the camp, she became Lutheran. She became very active in the youth activities of the Lutheran church. I find it ironic that most of my dearest friends are practicing Lutherans. She continued to attend Lutheran services throughout her teenage years.

I don't think it was until she met my dad that she even knew what the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was. Her dad, when he found out that she was dating a "Mormon," was very unhappy. He got so he wouldn't let my dad step foot in his house.

When they married, to appease her father, they did so in my dad's parents' home. It was NOT to happen in an LDS meetinghouse.

In 1959, my mom joined the Church. When I asked her why, she shared with me that it was because my dad and she wanted to be able to answer my sister's questions as they knew she would have them as she grew. They wanted to be united in their answers. They felt that they were to be had in the faith of my dad's family--the LDS faith.

I never knew my mom as a new member of the Church, but I know people who did. I have met people who loved and helped her as she "got her feet wet" in her new faith. I am grateful to those people. It's been so fun to cross paths with them and learn a little about what it was like for her back then.

My mother was a very happy person. She was solid in her faith as long as I knew her.

The Church provided her with answers she sought for herself and for her family. She found that she could be bound to her family through the ordinances in the temple. I believe those are the things she searched for more than anything else--to be tied to her family eternally.

As I look back on these things, I have to chuckle when I reminisce on the fact that, just prior to his death, my mom's dad was listening to the missionaries. He passed away, before he could have baptized himself, but my, how his heart had softened. He saw the good it did in my mom's life and the great things it did for our family. He wanted that for himself as well.

I am grateful for the faith of my mom, and I'm so thankful for those who taught her. I am so pleased to watch my daughter change lives and give back a little of what our family has been given through this wonderful church.

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Come, Join Me

Last year, at this meeting, our lives changed. This time of year was when the announcement was made that the age of eligibility for missionary service was changed. This was when plans began for #1 to serve. Crazy to think of how this wasn't even a thought more than a year ago.

Feel free to join us as our family watches General Conference this weekend....

A Little Emergency Prep for the Weekend

I actually started writing this last Saturday. I had great hopes of attaching pictures, but I can now see that that's just not going to happen, so here you go......


This next weekend is General Conference. Part of our tradition this time of  year is to change out our 72-hour kits. I've got some work to do this coming week.

In the past, I wrote a bit about this preparation. Here is a link for you. I thought I might go out and purchase another wheeled garbage can this week. The two we have have never really been enough to store everything we need. And I would, if circumstances around here were normal, but who am I kidding?

Let's just say that I'm relieved that we haven't had to use these kits over the past six months....one of my children, who really had no clue what they are for, just thought I was hoarding snacks in the garage, decided that some of the things in those backpacks were really desirable. Let's just say that if there had been an emergency, the Hess family would have gone extremely hungry.

While I was cleaning out the garage this last time, I pondered about the luggage we have up in the far corner of our shelves. They just sit there nestled inside each other. Actually, one is the massive suitcase that got me into so much trouble in Japan. Ugh! Bad memories. Anyway, I think what I may do this time, until younger kids learn the importance of those supplies, is put our backpacks in those suitcases. The kids'd really have to work to get those down. For the adults, it wouldn't be a problem. Issue solved, no?

In the event of an emergency, we open the garage door, throw open the back of the van, and toss those puppies in. Seems like it would work.

I just have to make sure that the little ones don't see me putting them in there. Then we'll be good for another six months.

So, I've got a bit of extra grocery shopping to do this week. I'll be using the money from the "Emergency Prep" envelope. Now, the debate....milk jugs or Ziploc bags? Here's a helpful link with a great video for this kind of thing. Ziplocs might just be a little too easy to get into for our family right now.

The list for the Ziploc bag idea is a bit different. I'll include that in another post this week, so you can see and follow it if you decide that works better for your family.

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General Conference (Sunday Afternoon): My Notes

These notes have been sitting here waiting to be published. I planned on putting all kinds of pictures in place, but considering it's been as long as it has, and I still haven't done it, I'm thinking it's just not going to happen. So, finally, here are my notes from the Sunday afternoon session of General Conference....



I really took scads of notes on Sunday afternoon. There was just so much to be learned. I have thought I'd edit it down so it was in a more readable/understandable form, but I'm just not sure where to begin. I'll give it a shot, but what lies below is what you get. Enjoy!

All things are possible to him who believeth. "Lord, I believe. Help thou my unbelief."
I need to admit where I'm weak and lean on the Lord in those times.
Let this desire work in me until I believe.
If thou canst believe.
The Lord helped him "straight way." It was not a slow process.
In moments of doubt or in troubling times:
1. Exert strength first.
hold to the ground I've already won. Hold fast to what I already know and hold strong.
Nothing is impossible if I believe. I think it's interesting that sometimes we hear "If you WILL believe." Belief is a choice--one I need to choose more often.
The degree of my knowledge is not the issue. It's the integrity I have with what I already know.
 2. Do not start my quest for faith by saying how much I do not have. Don't leap with my unbelief. Do not pretend to faith I do not have. Be true to the faith I do have.
I need to be as candid about my questions as I can be, but if me and my family want to be healed, I need to be careful not to be my own obstacle.
I have more faith than I think you do.
I have seen miracles. That cannot be denied.
This is a divine work in process. Manifestations are abounding. I need to not hyperventilate when issues arise. They do and they will. What I know will always trump what I do not know.
Walk by faith.
Be kind regarding human frailty.
Imperfect people is all God has ever had to work with. (I feel like I should have a shirt or button or something with this on it when I go to church and do my calling).
 3. Do not be afraid to ask for help.
God will send help from both sides of the veil (I have experienced this. It is true).
Belief is a precious work and an even more precious act.
Be not be afraid, only believe. Belief is always the first step toward conviction.
Be honest about where I stand.
What do I know, and what do I merely believe?
What is a tiny seed of belief can grow into the tree of life.
When I am weak, it's okay to lean on Elder Holland's testimony.
Fan the flame of my faith. All things are possible to me if I will believe. (There's that word again "will.")

Leave that which is highly esteemed among men; the traditions of men must be left behind to accept Christ. -- Yah, no problem there. I think what people highly esteem these days are getting to be pretty odd.
The world will hate us. -- I need to prepare myself more for this.
The followers of Jesus are to be a peculiar people.
We are to separate ourselves from the world and its traditions.
Hear and DO. Be doing when He comes. --That's sure a theme of this Conference!
"Savior may I learn to love thee. Walk the path that thou has shown....Lord, I would follow thee."
>>>Daily KNEELING prayers as a family.
Frequent personal prayers.
Don't put your hand to your plow and look back. Keep going forward.
Go out of my way to seek for those who have strayed as Christ did.
Rescue and serve.
Love my neighbor as myself. Love my enemies. Love others as Christ loves me--hmm...that's pretty straightforward. That leaves very little room for hatred, grudges, etc.
Draw upon my faith in Jesus Christ in order to forgive others.
"As a disciple of Christ, I [have] no other choice."
Child of God = heir of God
Inherit ALL things if I come to Him. Only possible if I follow my Savior. No man cometh unto the Father but by Him.
Is it enough to know that we must follow Him below?....ALL of God's blessings can be ours if we follow Jesus Christ.
Most of society's ideas of God and Jesus Christ is in conflict with the holy scriptures.
Joseph Smith's vision reveals this.
The apostle John saw them also.
Man does not dictate God's rules - Nicean Council.
Christ mentions His father 160 times while visiting the Nephites for three days (I figure, since His time was limited, the things in these chapters are THE most important things Christ had to teach anyone).
The Son can do nothing of Himself but what He seeth the Father do.
"Father into thy hands I commend my Spirit."
They desire the same oneness for everyone.
The Holy Ghost will teach all things. The Holy Ghost witnesses of the Father AND the Son.
It can be felt by anyone no matter who, but the fullness comes with baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands.
The doctrine of the Father and the Son is the doctrine of the family. We are the children of our Heavenly Father.
"Nothing is going to startle us more when we pass through the veil to the other side than to realize how well we know our Father in Heaven and how familiar His face is to us" (Ezra Taft Benson).

We learn from happy and sad experiences.
1. The temple is the place.
No expiration date on temple marriage. Unlike "until death do you part."
2. In order to contend, you need two people, and I will never be one of them.
Persuasion, long suffering, gentleness, meekness, and love unfeigned.
Eliminate emotional abuse. It wounds our personality. It lowers our self-esteem.
Live a celestial life.
3. A child who sings is a happy child.
Importance of sacred music.
Songs shall be answered with a blessing upon their head.
4. "I love you," "thank you very much," and "forgive me"
Provide comfort. Confirm tender feelings of our heart.
Send messages of love and gratitude.
Continue these after our home is established.
In whom I am well pleased
Texting is good--if uplifting.
5. I love the Book of Mormon and my Savior Jesus Christ.
Challenge children to read the Book of Mormon.
Needs to be read with the spirit of prayer and meditation.
6. It is not enough to know the scriptures, we have to live them.
He who doeth them, will be likened to a wise man who buildeth on a rock.
They give direction and peace to those who seek.
Sure direction.

Seeking for self-worth.
Many do questionable things to feel like they belong.
Defining worth. How do I define my worth?
Don't seek acceptance in the wrong sources. This puts us on a dangerous path.
We will eventually feel abandoned and inferior.
Look to God and live. God is the source of ultimate acceptance. They look at our hearts. They accept us for what we are and what we can become. They treat us better than what we are. They know our potential.
Willing to observe covenants through sacrifice.
Pattern:
1. Know that our hearts are honest and broken.
Engage in sincere self-reflection. Heart is the center. Look into your heart. We know our motives and desires. No rationalization. Pure honesty with self. A broken heart is soft and open. Open to the invitations of the Spirit. Accept His will. We can be taught by the Holy Ghost. We are invited to act.
2. Know that our spirits are contrite.
Contrite = feeling or expressing remorse that I have done wrong.
Teachable. See my own short-comings. Willing to repent. Willing to listen to the Spirit. Willingness and determined to act. Willing to change. Seek His will.
3. Conscious decision to observe our covenants through sacrifice.
Sacrifice isn't necessarily big or hard It mostly refers to day to day living as a disciple of Christ.
Worthily partake of the sacrament each week. Prepare for it. Renew promises. Feel His acceptance.
Having the Holy Ghost as our companion is a sure sign that our sacrifices are being accepted by God.
Reach out to others, give service, simply strive for righteousness, stand firmly and faithfully when storms of life are raging, etc. - these are ways we sacrifice.
Be personally in tune with the Lord. Seek the Lord's acceptance. His tender mercies will become evident in our lives. Enjoy His promised blessings.
We need not fear, we are His. We are of those His Father has given to Him.
He's got our backs.

Be of good cheer. He, through His atonement, has overcome the world.
Tribulation lies ahead, but we have cause for good cheer.
We live in the time when His Church has been restored in preparation for Christ's return.
We will see many events transpire. Many of these will tax my faith, but I must seek for help and I will be helped to rise above. The world will spiral downward at an ever increasing pace.
Don't fear the future. Don't falter in hope and good cheer.
FEAR NOT!
There will be peace in Zion. A refuge from the storm.
The Church is a bulwark of safety. We will find sanctuary in the stakes of Zion.
No human power can stay the course of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
We will be armed with the power of God as a defense in great glory. Stay true to the Church and let the Spirit be my guide.
We may not understand it all, but humbly, quietly trust in the Lord. Make my only desire to please Him, and I will be blessed with great peace.
Serve others with joy and good humor no matter what my circumstances might become.
Trusting the Lord completely will help me be an optimistic person.
Sing with joy even in a dark world. Trust. God is in charge. He knows EVERYTHING.

Redemptioners - pay off an obligation; to free someone.
Teach my kids to repent. Expect mistakes, but teach them how to be freed from guilt. We can be healed.
We CAN have peace  and joy NOW.
Teach a more excellent way--Christ's way.
Go about doing good. Help others with problems, defend the truth, create happiness at home, etc.
Jean Valjean's life is changed by charitable acts by Bishop Bienvenu. Forget not, never forget that you will use this silver to become an honest man. Jean Valjean you belong no longer to evil but to good.
We can bring these kinds of merciful acts to others and help them change their lives.
Help redeem the needs of others.
My children are more important than the house.
Lead others to Christ. That is the most important thing I can do. Otherwise this gospel is just about social rules.

Be a good citizen and neighbor. Be tolerant, kind, and loving to those who don't share our beliefs or standards.
Be aware of the needs of those around me. Be concerned for others. Be ready to give others a helping hand and a loving heart.
Put my trust in the Lord and He will help me no matter what my challenge may be.
Joy cometh in the morning.
The gospel is the key to our happiness.
He stands at the door and knocks. It's up to me to open the door so He can come in to me. I need to take advantage of this promise.


You can tell by the last couple talks that I was pretty heavily distracted by kids at that point in the game. Sorry. If there's anything you'd like to hear more of, you can check it out on your own.

General Conference (Saturday): My Notes

image: lds.org

Oh, how I LOVE General Conference. I have to admit that I'm seeking answers as I watch. I'm struggling with an important relationship in my life, and I'm looking for keys to resolving the issues that lie therein. I also have to admit that I view Conference through a mother's eyes. I'm always looking for ways to be better at this job I undertake again every morning and each day all day long.

image: lds.org

My favorite talk was by David A. Bednar from this afternoon's session. He hit it out of the park. After hearing him, the rest of the world should never doubt where members of the Church stand on some very sensitive topics. I wish everything was up and transcribed or viewable. I'd post it here if it was, but I'll just make it a point to do that when it is.

Here are some of the things in my notes (I didn't designate who said what because I just jotted down my impressions as they spoke)....

• You will not always be safe from the influence of the adversary; check your nestlings.
• There is power in the faithful prayer of a righteous mother.
• If I build on the sure foundation, I will not fall.
• PRAY! Council with the Lord in all my doings, and He will direct my paths.
• STUDY! The words of Christ will tell me all things what I should do.
• Hear and DO! The key to having a strong foundation is in the DOING.
• I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father.
• I am not alone.
• Mothers have the biggest influence on their children/in their home.
• Teach children about the power of the Atonement.
• Teach children to step out of the world and into the Kingdom of God.
• I must be the example of virtuous womanhood.
• I must love and honor my kids' father. What I do, they will imitate.
• Reinstate chastity. Be different.
• Put off the natural man to be sanctified.
• God wants us to overcome the world; therefore, He provides mercy. He allows for change over time.
• Don't judge. Treat others as they could be. Treat mistakes as temporary setbacks. Never condemn anyone. Allow them to change.
• If I draw near unto Him, He will draw near unto me. If I seek Him, I will find Him.
• satan seeks to destroy families. There is no way I'm going to let him have mine.
• Never give up on the goal of having peace.
• The Savior's peace can suffuse our souls and rid us of our hate.
• As individuals and families, we can attain peace.
• God is not the author of confusion but of peace.
• Be direct and stick to the basics.
• Lean not unto my own understanding.
• Bloom where you're planted.
• How we raise our children is much more important than where we raise our children.
• We are not spiritual orphans.

While we were watching, there were a number of things not related to Conference addresses that hit me briefly as well. These could very well be the first of many upcoming stepping stones on these topics.....

As we watched, two of our boys got into a bit of a tiff. The younger brother started to take off after the older brother. I stopped him with the words, "Focus here" as I pointed at the speaker. This hit me right after I said it. When other things are pulling at you that might not be for your own good, it's better to focus on those things that will improve your life. It's just a matter of self control.

With that same younger brother, someone said something that caused a reaction. After they said it, he responded just as everyone expected. From there, things typically escalate. I said to those who were preparing to join in, "Don't feed the beast." My family knows what that means--that we're not to play on his field. We need to change our interactions so that they are different from his--counteract meanness with kindness, etc. 

image: dreamstime.com

It kind of reminds me of the Native American story of the two wolves--Two Wolves Inside Me Movie. It seems to me that sometimes, maybe even most of the time, we respond in kind (not kindness). When someone is unkind to us, we respond with meanness. There is such power in changing the pattern of response.

The other thing that hit me was during the congregational hymn. Here are the words that stuck: "We will not retreat, though our numbers may be few when compared with the opposite host in view...." ("Let Us All Press On"). It seems that many times I write things that I know are going to be controversial. I hesitate to publish them because I don't want to raise contention. It became clear, as we sung this hymn that we're supposed to be different, and it's okay to state those differences. If not, what good are those differences.

Elder Bednar's talk supported that view. Let there be no doubt where we stand. We are different. Those who try to follow God always have been.

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My Friend!

Since she was tiny, #7 has had a thing for Thomas S. Monson, the President and prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

When she was old enough, I would direct her in prayer to pray for him by name. As we would kneel by her bed, I would guide her through all the words of her prayer. She would diligently repeat my words, but when I'd say, "Please bless President Monson," she would break from her obedience, open her eyes, unfold her arms, and neglect to say those words altogether. She would immediately and excitedly blurt out, "I know him!" Every single time, this was the case. I'd work to pull her back into prayer, and we'd close the prayer at that point. The reverence was broken.

Today, we watched General Conference. The last speaker for this morning's session was none other than President Thomas S. Monson. We all sat and laid quietly to watch and listen. Prior to this, #7 had been laying quietly next to me, wrapped in her "Tinterbell." When she saw him approach the podium, as if she'd held her quiet as long as she could, she excitedly announced, "Hey! He's my friend. It's President Monson! I love him."

How does she know, instinctively, that this man, a man she's never met, is worthy of her love? She must feel as I do. It's somehow easy to love those that we know love us.

Dinner Talk

As we sat at dinner tonight, we asked the following questions:

• What was the low point of your day?
• What was the high point of your day?
• Who was your hero today? (The only rule is that you can't be your own hero).

image: toastmasters.org

It made for some pretty fun conversation. We learned, though, that we need to set a timer or something and either cut people off when they've talked to long, or insist those that don't talk enough to fill the time. It's funny how our kids are--some are real talkers (...I know what you're thinking, but I'm sure I have no idea who they take after) and others are kind of quiet observers.

Here are my low, high and hero for today....

image: thevarguy.com

Low point--receiving software that was intended for Windows when I had ordered it for a Mac. After waiting so long, that was very disappointing, but it all got ironed out, and by evening, that guy I live with who sometimes dons his armor and mounts his stallion, had the correct software for me. YAY!

High point - being able to find childcare for #7 for one day a week, so I can go volunteer up at the elementary school.

Hero - Had I been thinking, I would have said that I had two heroes--that guy on the horse AND my friend who will be watching #7, but I only mentioned her. 

image: bolstablog.wordpress.com

How nice to have a day full of heroes!

During Family Home Evening tonight, the Warden asked us all to share who we were most looking forward to hearing speak at General Conference this weekend and why.

image: teachye.com

Of course, no one will be surprised to know that one of mine (I had two) was Jeffrey R. Holland just for the fact that we share initials (If you don't have any clue what I'm talking about, here's a link for you). Ugh!

I Am Not a Commercial Vehicle

Last week, our big ol' van (affectionately known as "The Beast") was having some mechanical issues. So much so, that it had to be towed into the shop. I have a AAA membership and actually, the day before this, had received my yearly renewal forms in the mail. I called AAA to see if they would come and tow it to the shop for us.

I was told, "I'm sorry. That kind of van is considered a 'commercial vehicle,' and with your current membership, we can't tow it."  What?!  Excuse me?!  Here I've been paying for a service that they can't even provide?!  CRAZY!

I assured the gentleman on the other end of the phone that I use it daily and it transports my children. I don't use it for commercial reasons. It's a "family car."

It didn't matter what I said. They weren't going to tow it. I would have to look elsewhere, and so we did. We called other towing companies. It would cost us $400 to have it towed to the shop in the next town.

I'm finding that this experience is part of a much bigger lesson that I'm learning right now.

The other day, my daughter was present when a girl spoke up in front of her entire class and said, "All Mormons look good when they're outside, but inside they're all very different than what they show outwardly." When my daughter shared this with me, I laughed because of all the Mormons I know, that daughter's one of the most genuine I know. There is no pretense.  She is who she is inside and out. Enter the front door or enter the back door, and you get the same girl. I can't say that about all LDS people, but I'm pretty confident about her. That's her personality.

It is fascinating to me how we, as human beings, are so comfortable with lumping people into groups. Somehow everyone is either a "family sedan" or an "SUV" or a "Jeep" or a "motorcycle" or, heaven forbid, a "commercial vehicle." I'm not saying I'm not guilty of lumping because, after all, I am human, but I guess I'm just trying to illustrate that we all do it, and it needs to stop. Just because we're part of a group doesn't mean we're all the same. We are not all commercial vehicles.

In the situation with the van, I believe AAA should have looked at my situation--me, as an individual, and truly judged my need by my circumstances. I think anyone hearing this story would feel the same.

Here's another issue to ponder....Once a number of years ago, I went to Time Out for Women. This is a women's conference sponsored by Deseret Book (an LDS bookstore), so needless to say, the presenters are LDS and nearly everyone who attends is LDS.  We, to avoid parking at the Convention Center, rode public transportation (namely the light rail train system). I was with one other friend on this particular day.

It was clear that the nearest group of women to us, on the train, were going to the same place, but it was also very clear, as I overheard their conversation, that none of them were very familiar with that part of town.  I could hear them struggling to know which stop to get off at. This group of four women jointly decided to take the stop two sooner than they should have. I didn't say anything because I wanted to see what would happen(I guess sometimes I'm just evil like that), and I knew they were going to get where they wanted to go. However, it was fascinating to me that they weren't the only group of women who got off at that stop. They, being the group closest to the door, drew all of the other groups of women off the train at that very same stop. My friend and I, being a bit more experienced with that train and its stops, remained...alone.

We rode the two more stops and were let off right in front of the doors--right where we needed to be. The other women were still quite a ways away. After watching all of those women get off the train that day, I decided that we, when we associate with a group, tend to be sheep. We follow without question especially when we're unsure. We trust that others know more than we do, and we, ignorantly, follow. These kinds of circumstances, more often than not, tend to bring some difficult outcomes.

Tonight at ward council, we discussed the term "traditions of their fathers" that's found so often in the scriptures and how this habit, of following the traditions of our fathers, gets us into so much trouble in our lives. The bishop shared the fact that for years, we, as members of the Church, have had topics that we have refused to discuss. Our parents didn't discuss them with us, and so we don't talk about them either. He explained what some of those topics might be.

I believe this is very true. We want our children to live in a little bubble safe and free from all that surrounds us, but when it comes down to it, someday our children will break out of these bubbles we've so lovingly built for them. When they do, there's going to be all kinds of ugliness that they aren't prepared for.

Like I said in this post, I don't believe that LDS people are bigots. I don't believe we mean to be judgmental. I truly believe that, for the most part, we're good people, we're just uninformed and sheltered. We tend to feel that ignorance is bliss. Like I said, we want to live in a world of sunshine and roses, but we somehow think we can avoid the sunburn and thorns. We want to pretend they don't exist, and sometimes I wonder if we ignorantly believe that if we ignore them long enough, they will all go away.

In believing this way, we're getting off the train two stops too early.

I guess I need to ask the question....What are we afraid of?  Are we really going to go hide in the closet thinking Satan'll just eventually give up and go away?  Nope. We all know that's not going to happen. How long are we going to do this?

The truth of the matter is, we all need to open the door and confront him head on. Then the questions arise, how do I feel about this issue and that?  There are some HUGE issues out there, and they just seem to multiply daily. With an LDS man running for presidential office, people are going to have questions and they're going to make judgments. We're going to be lumped. Is this fair? No. I know it's not, but remember, we're all human.

If we want to avoid be lumped, we have to stop cowering in the corner. We must get some, as my husband would say, "Cajones," and figure out what we truly believe. We must, each of us, be bold when questioned about how we stand. Bold enough to not be intimidated. Of anyone in the world, we should know, and we should be strong in that knowledge. I'd also like to add that we are not alone. I had once heard that the LDS faith was the fourth largest religion in my state (Oregon), but according to this website, it looks like we might rank second to Catholicism, and I truly don't believe that we are alone. I believe there are many who aren't LDS who agree with us. Then why are we being so silent?

I'm thinking it might come down to this....How do you, as an individual--not as a sheep, feel about the issues that are facing us? How do YOU feel about abortion? How do YOU feel about homosexuality and same sex marriage? How do YOU feel about  temple ordinances? These are some of the questions I'm asking myself right now. These are topics no one has ever made me face until now. So, how do I feel? How do you feel? What do we know that will help us defend what we believe?

These are just some of the things we need to face. If you don't know, maybe it's time to open the door. The great thing is we don't have to go fearfully or blindly. We have power and prayer behind us.

One thing I learned from my adolescent literature class was that the written word is one of the best ways to formulate opinions about things. We can take our time and ponder what is written. We can talk to people we trust, those who already have formed opinions on these issues. We can add their knowledge to ours. Knowledge IS power.

I can tell you that anything facing us now has been addressed in one of the recent sessions of General Conference. The Family: A Proclamation to the World is an inspired document. It holds so many answers for us. We have so many places we can go to get answers. Most of all, we can go to our Heavenly Father and have Him direct us to what we, as individuals, need to know. Really, with all that behind us, how can we go wrong?

It is not our place to preach and be sanctimonious. It is just our place to be confident in our beliefs. When someone asks, we should have answers. We should have our OWN opinions--not some sheep-ish response. They should fit us as individuals and must be based on truths that we have come to understand for OURSELVES. They need to be individual--as unique as each of us are. Our answers are not "commercial vehicles."

In this day and age, we, as families and more especially as individuals, cannot afford to be sheep. We cannot afford to be lumped. We cannot allow ourselves to be considered commercial vehicles. The time has come for each of us to open the closet door and face what has been unspeakable, but the only way to do that is to face it in private with the Lord first. He knows us for who each of us are and will teach us what is true. He's never let us down.

If someone confronts you and you don't know how you feel, it's okay to say, "I'm not sure. I've never been asked that before. Let me think about it, and I'll get back to you on that."

Really, what do we have to be afraid of?