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Sunday, October 14, 2012

Don't Sit and Stew...

...Up and do.

image: mlive.com
This morning, I woke with some very clear impressions in my mind. I'm pretty sure that because I'm difficult to reach (overly distracted) during the day, God finds the perfect time to impress things upon my mind. This is usually in the middle of the night--I've gotten so I make sure, if I have insomnia, to pay attention to what's going on in my brain when I first wake. If I can write it down completely and create some kind of plan, I can usually get back to sleep rather quickly. The other time is first thing in the morning. Again, if I have strong thoughts when I first wake up, I need to write them down.

The thoughts this morning were in regard to my struggle to focus on those who need me the most--my little ones. I tend to be the kind of mother who works to teach my children to be independent, but I'm finding that my little ones are becoming too independent at too young of an age. It is difficult to go from a 17-year-old mentality, when working with him, and shifting quickly to a 3-year-old level. Doing this all day with all the ages I deal with is tricky, so I tend to treat my younger ones much older than they are. It is clear that most of my attention needs to be turned to those who need me most--the youngest, but in so doing, I'm fearful of losing my relationships with my teens.

I have known that this change in my behavior has needed to take place for a VERY long time. I just haven't known how to go about it. I'm still not sure that I do, but I'm hoping that I'm preparing myself for the next step.

As I showered this morning, I prayed for answers. As I brushed my teeth, again, a prayer in my mind to know what it is I should do next. So far, there have been no clear, this-is-what-you-do-next answers. Living in this instant gratification society, darn it! I want my answers NOW! Well...they're not coming.

I went into my little secret corner of the world and turned to the scriptures. I'm reading Alma 57 today. Timing is just amazing. Moroni's writing about his interactions with Ammoron. Did you ever think about Ammoron's name before? "Am Moron?"

Well, it starts out that Ammoron's feeling a bit desperate for an increase to the numbers of his army and he knows that Moroni's got quite a few of them locked away in safe keeping as prisoners of war. He makes the deal that if Moroni'll give him back his men, he'll give him the city of Antiparah that Ammoron's army has overtaken recently.

I'm sorry, but DUH! Moroni's got the upper hand here for sure. He could easily keep the men AND overtake Antiparah. That's not rocket science, so of course, he refuses Am Moron's offer, keeps the men, and goes ahead and takes his army to the city--that's all he has to do is take them to the city--and the bad guys are so scared that they take off, so the city Antiparah is taken without any kind of force needed at all.

While I read, I take notes. After reading verse four, I wrote the title and first line of this post--Don't sit and stew. Up and do. Moroni doesn't sit around waiting; the answer's about as clear as it's going to be, so he goes for it and benefits for doing so. Sometimes it seems that I sit and stew WAY too long. I sit around waiting for the answers for so long, thinking that they're just going to be handed to me, that I miss the most important steps that could lead me in the direction to receive the very answers I'm looking for--those that require me to act on the information I've already received.

So, that is my plan in regard to this new information I was faced with this morning. In order to receive the next step in this life lesson, from God, I need to do what I can and what I know at this point. If I do these things, and exercise my faith in doing so, He will enlighten my mind and increase my understanding--He'll take me to the next step.

Hmm....It seems that not everything in life's going to be handed to me on a silver platter. Darn it! It seems that, like me, God wants His children to learn to be independent too.

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