Just received a message from a friend in response to the last post. What she said was exactly right. If my desire is just to write, then just having things in draft form should be good enough, but if I publish my feelings about things, then this becomes more like my living room.
The truth of the matter is, I would never invite you into my living room and throw all of my feelings about things at you. I wouldn't. That would be awkward and uncomfortable for both of us. So.....hmm...maybe this blog is more of a "madhouse" than I originally thought. It's a place for me to express my feelings--even, and maybe especially, those that no one cares about except for me.
So, maybe what I'm deciding here is that this is less of a living room and less of a bedroom, but more of a padded room. A place where I can thrash about with my feelings and thoughts and feel safe--that I can't get hurt.
At least, that's how I want it to be. Is that even possible?