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Friday, March 9, 2012

Girls' Night

It's been a tough week.  I didn't admit that out loud until yesterday as I faced myself squarely in the mirror and saw the shiner that now exists below my right eye.  It's HUGE!  That was just the outward representation of a truly difficult week--the icing on the cake, if you will.

No, the Warden didn't beat me with a stick.  It was the back of my five-year-old's head.  I swear I've never had any marks from my children (except for those from childbirth) until now.  Sometimes #7, when I'm laying on the bed reading to her, will readjust her head on the pillow and come down on my face instead, and I know I've had a head or two hit me square in the middle of the front of my neck--OUCH!, but yesterday, when this happened, I knew I was in for a loverly mark.  And, so it is.

My good friend has been planning a girls night out for months--really.  I got the Facebook invitation, but I just couldn't bring myself to commit.  With yesterday being the Warden's birthday, I thought for sure we'd be partying it up tonight (it being the weekend), but I actually took him out on Wednesday, and we had a fun little shopping spree together just the two of us.

Today I kept my kids' friends while she went to school (it was a day off for the kids--like I mentioned in the last post).  When she came to pick the kids up this afternoon, she asked  if I was coming.  I had no excuse.

Now, I have to be honest here....I have become TOTALLY socially awkward.  I leave a social occasion wondering if I talked to much or if I said just the wrong thing.  It's terrible.  I was so worried that this would be the situation this time, that I just knew I couldn't do it.  I told her I would, but "don't be surprised if I back out."  She said she would drag me out if I backed out.  She would too.  She's that kind of friend--everybody needs a Tonya in their lives.

I did back down but looked at the alternative and decided that I would much rather be with a bunch of women especially after such a hard week.

I'm so glad I went.  I loved every woman there.  Amazing people--all different, but all amazing.

Oh, we went to that friends house, after we ate at a restaurant, to have dessert.  I didn't touch a thing, but I sure had fun and interesting conversation--thanks Paige and Kim.  You may have just been the next tender mercies in my life.  Thank you!

Here I am home now, and I haven't even analyzed what I said or did once.  Aren't you proud of me.  I would say that's a step in the right direction.  Phew!


Patrick and Paige said...

We both came to some realizations about ourselves. Isn't it great how friends can make you see something you have overlooked;) I am sorry, I feel like I completely monopolized your time tonight, I just feel like we have so much in common in lots of different ways....if that makes sense. Thanks for the chat though;) I needed it...I love that all of our conversations turn out to be very deep and meaningful. I always feel so much better afterwards. I hope you do too. If not, at least I kept you from the sugary desserts;) haha. Love ya Jules!

Crazymamaof6 said...

i'm huge on girls night out. i go a few times a month. if i don't i start to lose it. my ladies understand how it is to be in the trenches all day. we share tips on how to survive. we vent. we laugh alot. sometimes we cry. and laugh some more. they love and accept me for who i am.

i'm so glad you went. you deserve a girls night out. you can't continue to give and give and give without a little recharge of your batteries. date nights do it. and girls night out does it in a different way.

Kimberly said...

I am s glad you came! It was great chatting with you and Paige. You are one of those people that I look up to and admire more than I can really express, without feeling stockerish. :) I love your honesty, your acceptance, and your willingness to put yourself in an uncomfortable situation if it means you will be better because of it. You aren't afraid to look in the mirror, acknowledge that things could be even better if you would just {insert difficult task here}. You don't shy away from the refiner's fire, but embrace it. These are qualities that are rare to come by, and I'm so grateful that I have an example of someone I can look up to to in this regard. Thanks for coming last night, because you definitely were not the only one that felt tender mercies last night. Love ya!

vaxhacker said...

Oh, shoot. I know my wife was planning to go to that, too. The last part of the afternoon yesterday was crazy, though, and totally got sidetracked. When she realized what happened late that night, she was really disappointed. I'm glad it turned out to be a fun evening, though.

I don't know if it will help for me to say this or not, but I'll give you my honest answer to your feelings of social awkwardness. I haven't ever felt offended or embarrassed or awkward about anything you've said or done around me. You can't always be comfortable around everyone, with different people's attitudes and outlooks and such, but I feel completely at ease around you and the Warden, like we can talk about anything and it's okay to just relax and be ourselves. So just keep being yourself around your friends, and we'll do the same, and we'll just enjoy the company of great people in our lives.

(Not that knowing the above hasn't stopped me from doing the same anxiety trip to myself too much of the time.)

lia london, author and writing coach said...

I'm always willing to be socially awkward with you.

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