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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

For Me

I thought I'd pull from the topics my friends gave me for today's post:  How often I plan something for myself, and how I pull it off.

It seems, when we have little children, we tend to spend so much time with them and doing for them that we forget who we are.  We put ourselves way down on our own priority lists.  We think we're making sacrifices for them that will someday pay off, but I don't agree with this viewpoint.  I believe in the old saying about the pitcher.  We all have a pitcher and all day long, everyday, that pitcher is used to fill others' pitchers, but if we let our own pitchers become empty, with what will fill the pitchers of others?  Along with that, what are we teaching our children?  What example are we setting?  I believe that we're basically teaching them that we're not important.

I've decided that much of what is considered "something for myself" is a matter of how I view the things that I do.  Since this is the case, I do something for myself everyday.  It's important to know what makes us feel happy and fulfilled.  Some of the things I do are take a bath, read, blog, take a nap, play sudoku, scrapbook, take a long walk or drive, and crochet.  Some of these things are easier to do than others.

One thing I need to do better is spend time with friends.  I love that I have friends who plan girls nights.

I think the key to doing these kinds of things is to either have a very supportive husband or a very close friend who's willing to watch kids so you can get away once in awhile.  In either case, a huge part of the deal is that you'll be willing to watch that friend's children so she can get away once in awhile too.

Another thought is to find a class for your child(ren) at your local parks and rec and have a little time to yourself during that time.  Even just to sit and sip something without children underfoot is fairly heavenly.

I feel strongly that a weekly date with my husband is vital.  One year, I made up a list of 52 dates and then scheduled them into the calendar.  I found many of the ideas online. That was such a fun year.  Each week I'd look forward to what was on the calendar and would surprise the Warden with what I'd planned.  We didn't sit around staring at each other on Friday nights and then just decide to go out and eat.  We tried out different sites in the area and got to act like kids again.

I also believe in getting away with him a couple times a year even if just for an overnighter.  Having older kids is great for this, but again, supportive friends were wonderful when we had little ones.

Someday, the kids'll be gone.  I'm grateful for wise women who have shared the truth that it's important to nurture oneself and one's relationship with one's husband.  I know that someday the only people left in this house will be me and him.  It's good now to keep our relationships with ourselves and our spouses alive and vital so that we don't have to start all over again after so many years.  In doing so, we also teach our children to do the same for themselves.

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