I like vanilla ice cream. I really do. I like it, but I don't love it. If you were to ask me what my favorite ice cream was, I'd tell you something like rocky road or pistachio almond. Yup. Those'd be them. But really, anything with nuts is right up my alley.
Yesterday, feeling a bit snarky (imagine that), I wrote the following status update:
"My goals for the week...
Monday...cut boys' hair
Wednesday...breathe some more
Friday...breathe just a little bit more. You're almost to the end of the week. Hang in there. You can do it.
Saturday...breathe better than any other day so far
Sunday...set new goals
"Some weeks, this is all you can hope for."
When I wrote it, I really was just being silly. I have a cold, and I'm wiped out. I really did feel that if how I feel continues as it is, I'm done for. The week will all have been for nothing, and I'll look back someday and regret it.
Here is today's update on that status:
The reason I'm thinking about ice cream sprouted from a comment to this status update from my friend Deanna.
Her words: "Way to go Julie! I, on the other hand, feel good to just be breathing today...."
It was funny. When I read her words, I felt a kinship with Deanna. I totally got what she was saying. Heaven knows I know that feeling.
"I know some days are like that, huh, Deanna? Up until now, I haven't been allowing myself to just breathe and get through a day. I have been sorely disappointed in myself. Well, all of that has changed at this point. Breathing is just great. Everything else is gravy."
The thought of gravy led me to ice cream (I know. Don't question it. I must have been exposed to too much mercury or lead or Play-doh or something as a child. Just go with it). The fact of the matter is I really don't allow myself just vanilla anymore EVER. I was happy for Deanna that she was just breathing today. I was even applauding her when I read her comment, but what about me? Why isn't breathing good enough for me?
When I was a kid, we would go to Farrell's Ice Cream Parlor. It was a great place for birthdays. They'd make a HUGE hoopla over you and make you feel like you were king of the world--sirens, drums...seriously, the whole nine. It was awesomely great in there, so great, in fact, that my dad would NEVER go with us.
Over the past number of years, vanilla hasn't been good enough for me. I have wanted the zoo--every day.
My problem is I start setting goals or creating a to-do list for the day, and even though I know that I should only set one or two, I just can't stop. I want to do and be everything NOW!
No, vanilla isn't climbing the Empire State Building. Vanilla isn't even getting the windows washed. You know what, vanilla might not even be doing the dishes, but vanilla is breathing, and breathing should be good enough on some days. Vanilla, and just breathing, should be applauded. They should be more than sufficient. They should be wonderful.