My sweet and wonderful friend, Rachel, just posted a new photo of herself on Facebook, and it got me thinking how non-social I am right now. Many of my dearest friends moved away years ago, and I just don't reach out much anymore.
It's funny because I remember my mom being very much like I am now. She spoke with people at church; actually, she was often the last one out of the building, but I don't remember her just up and leaving the house to go have lunch with friends or hanging out with people during the week.
I wonder, am I really anti-social, or is it just the fact that I have a houseful of kids, and my plate is full enough. I really am thinking it's the latter. There just aren't enough hours in the day anymore. Choices must be made, and I'm fearful that unless you live with a houseful of kids, you just don't understand my plight.
There are countless wonderful people I could call or hang out with on any given day, but I just don't feel the push to do that. Is something wrong with me?
I used to be the kind of person who hated to be home. I loved being out among others. Why don't I feel that now?
I'm now perfectly happy just to be home.
It is true...I feel that those in my house are my dearest friends. I'd rather be with them than with anyone else, so I guess that's a good thing, but as I looked at Rachel's photo, I realized how times have changed. Not that she's changed all that much. She's just a lovely as ever, but the times of going "Slimming with Rachel" are no more--Rachel and I used to go to deep-water aerobics at night twice a week. #4 would ask me often if I was going "slimming with Rachel" that night. I remember him calling it from his bedroom window after he'd been put to bed: "Mom, are you going slimming with Rachel?" as Rachel and I headed out onto the driveway and out to her car.
I, honestly, miss those days.
My hope is that someday I'll be a social person again, but to be honest, I wonder if, because of my neglect, no one will want to hang out with me when I'm an old woman, after my social circle has moved out and moved on with life--missions, college, the whole sh'bang.
I'm grateful for my memories with people such as Rachel. They were a gift at a time when being home with a whole slew of little kids could have made me mental....Those days when I needed a break to be with real people who could speak in full sentences that didn't include the word "maaaahm."
Rachel, thank you! I love you! You were, and are, a treasure in my life.