Kicking myself, though, eventually leads to kicking myself in the rear end and restarting. I am working on allowing myself to begin again--to not give up.
Today, particularly, I'm sad that I gave up the Easter dress (and shirt and tie) tradition. Next year, my boys and husband will have new shirts and ties, my girls and I will have new dresses. I'm determined. I just think it makes this day that much more important and special.
I got up and put some caramel rolls into the crockpot and got the sausages out to thaw. I put the Easter baskets by each child's bed--thank goodness they slept in because so did I. I think our vacation wore us all out. It's taking us a few days to recover. I'm glad we returned a day early.
I stopped taking a medication the other day. It's been affecting my stomach in a very bad way. I'm now waiting for the effects to stop, but instead, it's getting worse. I'm hoping that this is just a "darkest before the dawn" scenario.
I have things I want to share. So many thoughts and experiences have been happening and teaching me. I feel that I've allowed myself to get distracted through the dark winter and now that the sun is out and the clouds are dissipating, I have a new vision for what I want life to become. I have more energy and more desire to change and make life what I want it to be.
This is what I feel that I need to write about. I need to make sure I jot down these lessons, so that I can come back and refer to them and learn from them especially when its dark and cloudy and I start to lose my way.
Here are a few key words (for my future reference), so I can remember all that I need to write about:
**small and simple things
**looking beyond the mark
**Julie B. Beck--"A Mother Heart" and "Mothers Who Know"
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**Mt. Baldy
**Planning - ridemax
**Organizing - a house of order
**Desire
**Forgiving myself/beginning NOW
**Envisioning and brainstorming (day dreaming)
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