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Saturday, December 29, 2012

Eternity Starts Now: My 2013 Goal

I was born when my parents had been married for 21 years. I never saw them fight that I can remember. By the time I came along, most of the bugs, I'm sure, had already been worked out of their relationship. That, and I'm pretty sure that if they were unhappy with each other, they were smart enough to express their feelings away from us kids.

When I got married, I knew I hadn't gotten the whole picture of just what marriage is. Marriage, to me, seemed effortless.

My cute niece posted the above picture on Facebook yesterday. I saw it and laughed. This is me and the Warden. I really married a good man. He loves me and treats me like a queen. Maybe, because of him, my children get a fairly blissful view of marriage at this point in their lives too.

I was speaking to my brother a number of months back. He told me that as he sat around church one Sunday, he looked around at the couples sitting together and noticed that not one of them looked truly in love. He shared that if he was going to be with his wife for eternity, he wanted to be in love with her right now and everyday from now until then (although, we all know there is no "then" where eternity is concerned--eternity is now).

This idea has been percolating in my mind all this time.

image: chestofbooks.com
Finally, about a month ago, I shared this with the Warden. He said that marriage is a three-legged race and that, in order to cross the finish line successfully (just a little truth for you...there is no finish line), we have to be in sync. We have to be working together at all times.

We tried to envision just what we thought a celestial couple might look and act like. We, ironically, ended up with twelve characteristics. We are devising a plan so that each trait has a simple act that can be performed during each week of 2013.

In March, the Warden and I will have been married for 21 years. I really wonder, will my children think the way about us that I pictured my parents? Will they think marriage is all sunshine and roses? My hope is that they will become aware of the little changes that we'll be making this coming year. I hope they will get to experience a marriage of sunshine and roses brought about by small daily and weekly conscious choices.


lia london, author and writing coach said...

It does help that you and the warden both managed to marry the very bestest spouse around. :)

Julie Hess said...

Ah, Lia, you're nice, but really, between the Warden and me, I ended up being the winner.

When I originally saw the picture (that I posted here) on my niece's wall, this is what I wrote:

"Huh, there we are, and that's EXACTLY what Zan would do. I, on the other hand, would be beating him over the head with it. Glad I married a good man. He, on the other hand, deserves some pity. Poor guy."

But, I'm working on it.

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