I am alone. Not just alone, alone, but ALONE!
Mind you, I've been alone before and even in the past couple weeks...I think, but this is one of those do-whatever-you-want-you're-a-free-woman kind of alones. Yes, a blissful yet somewhat disconcerting, I've-been-raising-kids-for-so-long-I-don't-know-what-to-do-with-myself, moment.
So, what do I choose to do? Cookies are in the oven. Laundry's spinning itself around happily, and I choose to sit back and write.
Then the problem....what to write about?
I feel like it's been so long since I've sat down just to write for fun that my brain is plumb out of ideas. I'm so glad I made my list and posted it the other day, but as I reread that list, I think I want to go a completely different route.
I need to share my latest tender mercy. Well, mine, but not mine. Here, let me explain.....
A couple weeks ago, someone in my ward asked me how #1 was doing. We stood and chatted for a bit, and this woman, who had seen a son off on a mission shared a few things with me. One was that there were times while her son was gone that she felt that something was wrong but there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. When she would communicate with her son about these experiences, he would verify that yes, her feelings were accurate. She shared a rather vivid example of this with me.
It really was a passing conversation with this woman, but now, I can see that her comments on that day were important for me.
Week before last, I woke up one morning, and I just felt that something wasn't right. The more I pondered on it, the clearer the situation became. #1 had a problem, and surprisingly, I knew JUST what it was. How would I know that? Even now I ask that.
The reality struck me that there was nothing I could do but write to her and encourage her. I sat down and composed an email. Later that day, I wrote another. As I wrote, I knew I was either completely off-base or I was right on track, but this being #1, and knowing how our relationship is, I knew she'd roll with it. She'd either laugh, shake her head and roll her eyes, or she'd gain strength and move forward as needed.
After I sent the second email, the feelings simmered down. I worried no more. All I could do, I'd done.
Yesterday, I finally learned the truth....those emails had helped her gain some strength at a time when she really needed it.
I questioned her about my emails. She said they had "helped a lot." In response to this, I told her: "There is no doubt that Heavenly Father's
aware of you.....I mean, I knew there were issues ... I really had no reason to know that. I just woke up one morning and
felt URGENT about it."
Her response: "it was definitely an urgent thing...It's much better now though."
She shared how she dealt with what was going on. She had to step completely out of her usual easy-going ways and face it head on. I'm so proud of her. I can also see how this was a vital step in her growth and development.
I am so grateful to know that she's being watched over. She shared a few other tender mercies that came her way this past week that made life that much better.
There are those who scoff and say that there isn't a God. How could I ever side with them when things like this happen over and over in my life, and not just in my life, but in the lives of those I love?
Next time things get tough, I want to remember this. I guess that's why I needed to write it today.
So, I'm off again...The cookies are done. The last load of laundry's in. Time to get dinner in the crockpot and get ready for kids to return home.
Someday I'm going to get used to having time to myself again. Then, maybe I'll do more than just write, do laundry and make cookies, but for now, that has to be good enough.