Driving in the car the other morning thinking about spaghetti…..Tears start to form in the outer edges of my eyes…..Why? It's just spaghetti, for heaven's sake. And REALLY GOOD spaghetti at that. Nothing worth crying about. That's for sure.
Sitting at the intersection, waiting at the light. Waiting to turn left. Listening to #1's music. That wasn't making me cry either, and I have to say, in my own defense, that I wasn't really "crying," just tearing up. Crying includes sobbing and tears flowing rather rapidly out of the inner corners of my eyes near my nose. Believe me, I'm a cryer, I know what it's all about.
No, these were tears forming in the outer edges, and no sounds were coming out of me at all. They were just suddenly there.
Then, this song comes on:
I've heard this song dozens of times, and although I probably sing along with the chorus each time it comes on--I'm a car singer, what can I say? I never really listened to the words until it collided with thoughts about spaghetti.
While this song plays, I start to understand the tears…..I am sitting in the middle of something significant. The little day by day things all add up into something I'm just now starting to understand. It's big. Bigger than I understand in my daily comings and goings. The cumulative effect is a bit overwhelming. How did I get here?….
Line upon line. That's how.
But because they've come on so subtly, I haven't written about them.
Is it too late? Do I really remember (with my lousy, middle-aged, brain-too-full memory) all of the important details? Do I recall enough to help someone else understand just what's happened? Do I even fully comprehend all of the little bits and pieces that have added to this larger picture?
Yes, I'm doubting my abilities. And then there's this...If I write about them, will they stop?
Well, let's begin with spaghetti…..