I have so much to share, but I sit down, and it overwhelms me. There is so much! So many miracles and tender mercies that I've witnessed. How do I capture it all? If I only write part and then drop the ball, will I remember it later? At this point, because I haven't been writing, I fear that I've forgotten so much already. I feel that I won't do what's happened justice.
Well, I'm going to go for it. Believe it or not, where I am in life right now requires that I set myself a timer. I can't neglect my other duties by sitting here and writing for too long, but I'm going to trust that as I write, details will come back to me, and I will trust that ten measly minutes will be enough to say what needs to be said. There will be ten minutes more tomorrow.
Seriously, I don't know where to begin.
Awhile back, I mentioned my daughter's mission and how it has brought blessings. I really want to expound upon that, so that you can understand and so that I have a record of just what blessings I've been aware of. Many of these blessings include others. I have not spoken to these people to get their permission to use their names, so for now, I will merely describe them and their roles in these things that have happened. If you know that one of these people I describe is you, and you don't mind my using your name, please contact me.
All these years later, I see the difference. As a mom to a missionary, I feel her pains and her joys. I feel them deeply, empathetically. I understand. I also trust in the learning process that she is experiencing. Been there; done that. I don't doubt that she feels tuggings in her heart to do certain things and to turn from other things. Knowing my daughter, I understand that she is much better at this than I ever was, and it makes me so happy to have that assurance.
I have no doubt that she is where she is supposed to be now. Unlike me, she doesn't need to know the whys of this call. She knows strongly that she is where she is supposed to be. I am so pleased with this. She is made of far tougher stuff than I ever was.
With this, her call, have come opportunities for service for our whole family. They have been like seeds that are gradually planted but quickly grow and bloom. This is where it becomes hard to write. Which do I start with? How do I transmit, through writing, the nature of these things so that you understand that none of these really have anything to do with me…..I didn't start them. Well, in some cases, most cases, it was a matter of walking forward and finding myself involved in something that has evolved into something much larger…..In short, miracles. They weren't planned. They just moved--like walking into a dark room and the automatic light turns on, and you find that you're surrounded with amazing things you weren't aware even existed.
Here is a short list of what I want to cover in these 10 minute sessions:
My 10 minutes is up for today. I'm thinking this is going to be therapeutic. So many things have been swirling around my head lately. I need to get them out.
Lately, I have been feeling that there is so much evil growing in this world. For the bulk of society to deny the existence of an evil force is dangerous. Somehow, this seems to make his influence grow. The only thing I can compare it to is kind of like at the end of a cartoon, you know how the screen darkens and a large circle of light shrinks around the final scene? That's how this feels.
I have had so many frustrating things I've wanted to write about--stupid things society is choosing to do, but I have decided that my energy is better focused keeping that circle from shrinking too quickly. I feel like I need to reach inside and keep my hand there on the good to keep the circle from closing never to reopen. If enough of us can cling to the good that still exists, it won't close completely.
So, I will share these things that have brought me so much joy these past few months. I will share the good that still exists, and more than anything else, I will share that there is still hope and still so much that we are being cared for and watched after by a power much bigger than we are. Miracles have not ceased.