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Saturday, August 25, 2012

Such Sweet Sorrow

Went to Ikea with #1 and #7 today. Our mission: to purchase the needed items for a college apartment. To be honest, we have no idea what we're doing. Shh... Don't tell anybody.

On the way home, I tried to brace #1 for the fact that I will be crying when we leave her at school. She's not an overly emotionally expressive kid, so I thought a warning might be appropriate. She asked, "Mom, are you already crying?" I nodded my head. I'm not one of those pretty criers who can talk through her tears.

She asked why.

Ugh! Did I really have to answer that question? Then I realized that I was glad she asked that, so I could face the inevitable before it even arrived.

I shared that I was glad she was going. I was happy that she was going to be in this wonderful new world with so many great opportunities. I also told her that I had no doubt that she would make great choices with her life, so it wasn't that.

Then, the truth came out....I feel like I'm cutting off a limb. I said for people who've moved around a lot in their lives and have come in contact with many different people, maybe it's easier to say good-bye to important people in their lives. I'm not one of those people. It's hard for me to let people go. I told her that I wonder if, after all of my children leave home, I'll have any of my heart left, or if maybe I'll be an empty shell of a woman.

We discussed the fact that with Skype, texting, cell phones, Facebook, and email, we'd be as close as ever, but then she said, "I know what you mean though. I won't get to share the funny stories of my life with you while we're riding in the Beast on our way home from eating meatballs at Ikea, huh?"

Yup. That about sums it up. Dang, I'm going to miss her!


6 comments:

Julia Shinkle said...

SUCH an exciting, emotional and amazing time for your family! So many fun adventures for her ahead! I will cry too
! :(

Andrea said...

You are such a great example if getting a good mom for me. Yes you will cry just like i will cry when mine leave, but that is part of changing andgrowing up. It is ok for them to know how much they man to you. Hugs from me to you.

Patrick and Paige said...

I was there when every single one of my brothers and sisters left for college. A piece if me left with each and every one. It was so hard to be left behind...6 times. I cried....a lot.

Patrick and Paige said...

I am crying now just remembering it and thinking about those times. I am gonna tell you, it doesn't get easier, but that new adventures open doors. Stay strong. It's hard. I cannot even fathom sending Anderson off to college. I know I will be a wreck. You are validated in your feelings. It's gonna take time and that's ok. Love ya

Memory Bybee said...

Okay, I'm crying just thinking about this and my oldest is only 7! I have a long time to wait but I can see that when the time comes I'm going to be really NOT ready to let go. Ouch. I'm glad you got to tell her all of your feelings about it, though.

lia london, author and writing coach said...

In retrospect, if you'd been a crummy parent, this would have been easier. :) Oh, sweetie, my first doesn't leave for 7 years, and I already pre-emptively grieve now and then. Love you, Jules! Hang in there.

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