Ten Random Minutes: The Most Important Trait to Teach

School has been canceled because of snow. It's 7:20 in the morning, everyone but one boy, reading in his bed, is still sleeping. I have been awake since 5am. Husband seems to be ill, so even though it's a day off for everyone else, life remains the same; although, maybe a wee bit more complicated--taking care of a sick husband while trying to keep the noise level down with six extra people in the house--for me.

I want to stray from the specific missionary-related topics I've been writing on lately. The next bunch of things I have to write about are tricky. They are important and a bit sensitive, so I'm not quite sure how to get them down in writing.

I guess, for today, I just want to write about randomness (I have no clue where this is going to go)….


I have learned over the past few years just how vitally important my role is. I am the queen bee. I am the line drawer. If something's going to happen around here, I'm the instigator, the planner, the scheduler, the follow-through-er. I am it.

Some may say, where's your husband in all of this? But let's be real. He has his own world at work. That's where he's in charge. It's there that he has to instigate, plan, schedule, etc. He doesn't do that in both places. He shouldn't have to, and he's not here most of the time….I am. I have the full picture of just how our home runs.

I have been learning the importance of obedience, and not just obedience, quick and exact obedience. These are values I learned from childhood, but I don't believe my parents required them as much as I do from my own children, and lately, I'll admit, I've been slacking….BIG TIME!

I learned how very vital obedience is on my mission. This is one thing I appreciate #1's Mission President for. He is very much like my mission presidents. Obedience is job one. Once I learned, hearing from other missionary parents, that he was all about missionaries being obedient, I was able to relax and enjoy the ride. I knew my daughter was in the right place under the right leadership. I knew she'd be safe and that she'd learn life's important lessons.

As a parent, I figure my role is to show my kids just a glimpse of what God might be like. Not that I'm their god, but my character traits should be so close to His in justice, mercy, kindness, generosity, consistency, etc.--inasmuch as a human being can muster these characteristics--that they come to know Him by interacting with me. I figure my example is CRUCIAL to how they learn to trust and how they grow to be moral people.

One thing I want for my children is what #1 is now experiencing day-to-day. She's learning, in real time, to trust God. She is learning to listen with her whole heart. She is learning to obey the voices that she hears as they strike her mind and her heart at the same time. She is also learning from her mistakes as she, at times, ignores some of those whisperings she receives. This, to me, is one reason why I want my children to choose to serve missions. This is why I think it's so important.

For now, in my home, they learn to obey me in preparation to learning to obey God. Like I said before, I sometimes slack on my job. I have noticed that the words, "Yah, I'll get to it" and "Just a minute" and sometimes, heaven forbid, even outright "No" are used increasingly around this house. I am learning, the hard way, that this cannot be. I need to rally my troops and bring them back to where they need to be.

I figure our home is their training ground. I realize that if they can learn to say, "Okay, Mom" and "I'm on it" and "Coming" now, while they're in my home, the greater the chance is that, when they're out on their own, they'll be able to say "Yes" and "Here I am" when they are called and sent forward by a greater power….Not just on their missions but in life in general.

This is what I desire for my children. This is what I want for their futures--that they might recognize the voice of God and learn to follow it obediently throughout their lives.


Now, to take care of the sickie and hold down the din. Off to send some kids out to the snow….and off to figure out just how to write these upcoming posts…..

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Ten Random Minutes: Anodyne vs. Evil

We interrupt the regularly scheduled topic for yes,….a rant.
For some reason, these 10 minute time limits just make other topics build up until I just can't contain them any longer. So, for today, here you go…..



What on earth is wrong with Miriam-Webster?

image:
thisandthatforkids.wordpress.com

I enjoy a good dictionary for what it can teach me about this ever evolving language that we speak. This morning, I was studying about satan. Yup…I was. I'm not even kidding. It's not like I want to be his minion or anything. Actually….it's that I don't.

When I was a kid, I remember being taught how to respond in certain situations…..If someone offers you drugs, do this…..If someone wants to cheat off of you in school, do this…..

I had those things down. I knew just what to do in SO many situations.

The sad thing is, I grew up. Suddenly, no one was telling me what to do or not to do in life's situations. I mean, the most I knew going into adulthood was that if I'm ever in a car accident, I'm supposed to call my insurance agent, but you know, life just doesn't come with a manual once you're out on your own.

So, I guess I've figured that the time has come to create my own.

At this point in life, I figure anything goes. But the biggest question of all is am I prepared for what lies ahead? What will my kids be throwing at me as they hit adulthood? What will others throw at me as I move beyond this phase in life? What about all of those who think I need to be thinking like them when I don't think like them at all? How do I respond to them? Am I ready for what life has in store for me?

I've decided that the one thing I'm sure of is that that guy I mentioned at the beginning of this post?...I don't want to be anything like him.

I figure that if I don't want to be like him, I'd probably better be doing the opposite of what he stands for. If he represents evil, then I want to represent ALL that opposes that.

So, in an attempt to create my manual for myself, I decided that the dictionary was as good a place as any to turn. If I went to "evil" on the Miriam-Webster dictionary app I downloaded onto my phone, I could then look at the antonyms, and I'd be good to go. Those words would give me a plethora of things to strive for.


Here's the list I found:

• anodyne
• benign
• harmless
• hurtless
• innocent
• innocuous
• inoffensive
• safe

Puh-leeeze! What the heck is that? The opposite of evil is safe? Huh? Since when? I don't get this at all.

If I had read this from an actual book, I would have burned it, but that wouldn't have been innocuous or inoffensive, would it? Instead, I deleted the app. Much more passive aggressive of me, wouldn't you say?

Instead, I crossed my fingers and went back to the app store. There, I found Dictionary.com and uploaded it…..

• auspicious
• decent
• good
• honest
• moral
• sinless
• upright
• virtuous

Yay! Yes, those are the things I want to be. Forget safe, I want to be moral. In these days, being moral is anything but safe.

Then I got to thinking about satan and how he works, and I believe that what I found in Miriam-Webster is just exactly what he wants. He wants us to believe that there is no evil and/or good. There just is. It's all just shades of gray. He doesn't want people believing that he even exists because as long as we don't believe in him, he can get away with whatever he darned well pleases. He has free reign.

Then, I get a little baffled by things in this world….When we have a choice, and when we know from childhood--through trial and error--that good choices bring good consequences and bad choices bring bad consequences, why would we abuse the choice we're given so much as to choose bad?

I think I've decided that it's because the bad choices are the easier ones to make. They don't fight gravity. They don't rise above. They just are.

So, Miriam-Webster, I think you've sold out. I think in selling out, you sell out society. Yay for Dictionary.com. I'm a fan. Forget "innocent" and "innocuous" and for heaven's sake, "anodyne." I want to be "good," "decent," "moral," and "virtuous." Thank you, Dictionary.com, for keeping these ideals alive. Thank you for giving us something to espouse, something to hold on to in this ever changing world of gray.

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Weekly Family Activities (with Lots and LOTS o' Links)

Monday night we sat down as a family and created a new and improved list of activities our family can do together. I was shocked at how many of them involved food (Ironic thing…as I went to write the last sentence, "at" came out as "eat"). One child would give an idea and another would chime in with, "Yah, and we can get ice cream!" or something like that. It was all quite comical. What can I say? We like to eat….Food is good.

Our goal was to come up with 52. Everyone moaned about this. They decided they'd each give two ideas, and we'd sit down again in a few months and do it again. Umm, no. Not going to happen. So, I forced the issue. It really wasn't that hard after we got going. We ended up with 71.


Here are the ideas we came up with:

• movie night at a theater (most likely this one)
• restaurant - this is my favorite at the moment, but who knows, this one's close to home and there's something for everyone--plus, there's pie! I guess it will depend on the night when we do it.
• zoo - this, for our family will require a membership, but it's such a deal compared with regular admission.
• OMSI - again, membership
• -children's museum - for this one, there is a free night once a month. It's surprising how much fun we all have here.
• Portland art museum - they have a free night too.
• picnic
• hot chocolate - in our family's opinion, this is the BEST hot cocoa, especially when prepared with milk.
• swimming - we buy a membership to this one too. It's a GREAT deal for a large family.
• Gilbert House - One of our favorites, and yes, you guessed it…membership. Only, the OMSI and Gilbert House memberships can be used for each other, so you only have to have a membership for one or the other. With the Gilbert House membership, you also have free access to the Children's Museum. Plus, the Gilbert House membership is a bit less expensive.
• park - we particularly like this one.
• water fountain - there are a few around our area, but I think we like this one best.
• basketball at the school
• Krispy Kreme - no explanation required.
• water fight
• temple - you don't have to be LDS to visit the temple grounds. It's a very peaceful place--a good place to go when you need to collect your thoughts. We will visit the visitor's center while we're there. The kids really enjoy the things they have there.
• the Columbia River Gorge - my favorite place in the world!
• pizza movie night
• barbecue
• Ikea - #6's favorite place in the world (and the kid's been to Disneyland?!) It's all because of the meatballs.
• marshmallow construction
• cookies - it'll be these without the M&Ms.
• chubby bunny - not being enormous fans of marshmallows, the hubs and I might just sit this one out and cheer the others on, but who knows.
• Waffle Window - What?! Food?
• Saturday Market 
• hot dog eating contest - I don't know, this might rank right down there with marshmallows. But for the sake of good ol' family fun and competition, I might be able to choke down one or two.
• Goodwill scavenger hunt - something was said also about everyone looking for the most hideous outfit. The winner buys it and the losers take turns wearing it. 
• basketball game - this is the kids' favorite family activity.
• tie dye
• soccer game - we usually buy a pizza, sit of the field and eat, and then go kick the ball around for a bit.
• make pizzas
• make wrapping paper
• make Christmas ornaments
• hike Council Crest
• family pics - this, believe it or not, was one of the kids' ideas.
• hide and seek
• frisbee
• capture the flag
• library cultural passes
• Powell's Books
• candy bar game - we did this last night, and I, very joyfully, ended up with my three favorites. Here's a very brief overview (our friends, the Boswells, taught us this game)….You get a bunch of candy bars (more than the number of people playing), two or more dice, and a small bowl for the dice to be shaken in. Everyone sits in a circle. The candy bars are placed in the center. Various people are given a bowl and a die. Those people roll the die one time. If they roll a six or a one, they get to grab a candy bar from the pile. They pass the bowl to the next person. Any time a six or a one shows up, the person who rolled it gets a candy bar. When all the candy bars are taken, a timer is set (we set ours for five minutes last night), and the play continues, only you grab the candy bars from each other. At the end of the game, some will have quite a few bars, some will have none. In our family, those who have lots share with those who have few. You get to eat what you win….Imagine that…Food.
• drive-in movie - we only have one of these left in our area that I'm aware of.
• game night - this is the new game we got for Christmas. The kids love it.
• Sauvie Island
• Skate World
• Candy Basket
• Voodoo Donuts
• TCBY
• ice skating
• froyo - #1 worked here before her mission. Of the places we've tried, it's our favorite.
• Simon says
• sardines - this is one of our most favorite games. It always surprises me how creative our kids can be.
• coloring night
• heart attack
• fork
• make blankets
• KFC - I wonder whose idea this was…..Hmm…I don't know….
• movie marathon - Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter, Mr. Bean (the series, not the movies), and others have been done in our house, but the BEST by FAR was this marathon which we did one New Year's Eve.
• Donut Day - better than Krispy Kreme, in our opinion. Plus, the owner's kids used to go to the school where my husband was principal, so we like to give them our business….a lot.
• go to a school play
• Pita Pit
• Rocket Fizz
• geocache
• frozen chocolate, die, clothing, fork and knife game - instructions for this game came from my dear Aussie friend Leanne. Her daughter's serving in the same mission with #1. You have a frozen bar or block of chocolate, a dice, gloves and other pieces of clothing, and a knife and fork. You decide which number a person has to roll before they can dive into the chocolate. When you roll that number, you jump up and start putting on the gloves and other clothing items. After all clothing items are on, you grab the knife and fork and attempt to cut into the chocolate. You get to eat any piece that you cut off. When someone else rolls the number, you're done. You put down the knife and fork and remove the clothing. That person puts them on and it starts all over again. (Leanne, I hope I got this right. If not, please correct me. Thanks!)
• Spoons card game
• Uno
• Apples to Apples
• root beer floats
• minute to win it games
• Farmer's Market
• Taffy pull

If you didn't catch the link earlier, here's how and why this all started. I hope this somehow helps your family as well.

Enjoy!

2014: CoDo Fa ReSp

As I read through my Facebook feed, I found that many of my friends had a very tough 2013. I hope 2014 will be better for everyone!


Well, here we are. A new year's begun, and my plan is not set and ready. I'm waiting for what some might call the "muse" to strike. In other words, I feel like I'm on the brink of something wonderful, but I don't quite have a grasp of it yet.

Here's what's sitting in my brain….
I need to have daily tasks that fulfill my desire and get me where I want to be.


Here are the parts of that quote (from the previous post) that are resonating with me:

• Covenants
• Doctrine
• Faith
• Revelation
• Spirit

Not just keeping these things for myself but somehow extending them into my family as well. The hope is that by bringing these things more strongly into my life, other things of lesser priority will be eliminated from my life. In other words, the things I need in order to fulfill my mission here will remain, the fluff will disappear.

I don't think it's so much that things will magically poof out of my life, but that I will be directed more clearly on what stays and what goes so that I can make these decisions myself with more clarity and less doubt and concern.


Very briefly, here are my impressions as I look at the above list….

1. Covenants - The promises I've made with God; the promises He's made back with me. I find these strengthened when I take the sacrament at church on Sundays and when I attend the temple. Clearly, these two things will need to be a bigger part of my life in 2014.
2. Doctrine - The things taught by Jesus Christ and by prophets who testify of Him. This is a matter of studying scripture and other words of prophets. Scripture study, truly delving into the things my heart catches upon, and General Conference will be a higher priority this year.
3. Faith - Action! Acting in accordance with belief. Faith is something that needs to be exercised daily. This is where the little daily tasks will come into play. What would Jesus do?….Well, this year, I'd like to find out.
4. Revelation - This was the topic at church this past Sunday--personal revelation. I want to tap into this better. Heart-felt prayer and then listening for answers are key. 2014 will find me spending more time in my secret place asking for direction.
5. Spirit - This is kind of out of my control. This is what I hope to have a greater abundance of in my life this year, but it is the result of seeking for it more diligently and intently. I know from past experience, the more I listen and obey those feelings in my heart that come along with ideas in my brain, they grow and increase in number. This is my challenge and ties in with each of the points listed here.

Here's what I gather will be the priorities in 2014 from what I've just worked out (not in any particular order)….

• More intent/focused taking of the sacrament each week. [Sundays]
• Regular and increased temple attendance. [Tuesdays]
• Daily scripture study (feasting) and seeking out the words of the prophets.
• Intent and involved General Conference participation. [1st weekends in April and October]
• Relisten to a General Conference talk daily.
• Daily what-would-Jesus-do? tasks.
• Daily heart-felt prayer (at least twice a day).
• Keeping a prayer in my heart.
• Listen for, seek out, and recognize answers to prayers.
• Recognize the Spirit verbally or in written form when it is evident. 

For today, I've got my work cut out for me….Got to get out a calendar and plan my tasks. There you go, today's task: devise a nitty-gritty plan while spending some time on my knees.

CoDo Fa ReSp! Getting down to the things of my soul. 2014 is going to be AMAZING!

2014 Resolution: Kicking it to the Curb

I LOVE this time of year. One thing I look forward to is making New Year's resolutions. This year, though, it's been tough. I just haven't been sure where to start….Then, I ran across this:


"“If we can keep [covenants, doctrine, faith, revelation, and spirit] in our families,…maybe a lot of other things start to take care of themselves. Maybe a lot of other less-needed things sort of fall out of the wagon. I’m told...handcarts could only hold so much. Just as our ancestors had to choose what they took, maybe the 21st century will drive us to decide, ‘What can we put on this handcart?’ It’s the substance of our soul; it’s the stuff right down in the marrow of our bones' (Jeffrey R. Holland). Or, to put it another way, it is what is written in our hearts!" (Linda K. Burton).

image: mormonhistoricsites.org

This is what I've decided to base my resolution on.

image: purlem.com

It seems that I use a lot of effort jumping on the "bandwagon." Over time, I fall off, and then time and time again, I spend what remains of my energy worrying and putting forth effort to get "back on the wagon." I want my life to be full of so many good things that I've gotten so that I've finally arrived at the point where I don't want to be involved in any of them.

I say, so much for jumping onto wagons! My focus, I've decided, will be based more on throwing things off the wagon I'm already on. Life is just too short for so much fluff.

You know, you hear stories about those pioneers who left their nice homes and tried to take all that they could with them not knowing what lay ahead. They took things like the piano and the family china? Yep. That's been me.

As these pioneers got going down the trail and saw how difficult the journey was, they started throwing things out one at a time to lighten their load and make their travels easier. They had to prioritize. That's where I'm at now. I want to end up choosing those things that resonate with me….Those things that make me happiest; that make me feel fulfilled as an individual.

image: crackersmaracas.tumblr.com

The rest, I'm planning to throw to the dogs.

By the end of 2014, you might not want to walk in my tracks. Who knows what you'll find that I'm throwing out on any given day.

I haven't quite decided yet what this is going to look like. I'm working on a plan right now, but I'm thinking each month will have a focus and each day will have a simple system of accounting. Although this might be easiest if everything I was sorting through was a tangible item, I don't plan on limiting this to things I can put my hands on. Actually, I'm thinking of starting with the spiritual and mental junk I've been carrying around for so many years and going from there--keep (and repair, if needed) the good, toss the bad.

At this point, it's all very interesting to ponder. I'm looking forward to lightening my load and traveling lighter in the future.

So, here's to 2014! Getting down to the "substance of [my] soul." The year of the lightened handcart!

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Overcome and Become

Notes taken from the talk "Clean Hands and a Pure Heart"

by David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles 

The gospel of Jesus Christ allows us to:

• avoid
• overcome
• be cleansed from sin and bad influences
• do good
• be good
• become better

This is done through:

• repentance of our sins 
• seeking forgiveness 

Necessary for our spiritual advancement, remission of sin is vital enough to make a daily priority.

The ultimate purpose of the gospel:

To have our hearts changed by the Holy Spirit to the point that "we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually" (Mosiah 5:2).

This is what we covenant to do. It's not that the covenant (and thus commitment) is made, and voila! I'm perfect. It's merely a commitment by normal, everyday people to try harder everyday and seeking the help of deity in doing so.

Mighty change:

Not brought about through an individual's hard work and/or personal discipline. 

Results from fundamental changes in:

• desires
• motives
• nature 

Only brought about through the Atonement of Christ. 

This is the UPWARD spiral!

The battle of this earth life:

  to overcome sin AND the desire to sin.

To rise above. To upward spiral. To reverse gravity in our spirits. To fly. To soar.

There are two requirements:

(1) avoid and overcome bad 

(2) do good and become better 

"Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place?

"He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully" (Psalm 24:3-4).

Interesting that here, the words "ascend" and "lifted up" are used. 

How does one do this? Here are some of the keys:

• Have clean hands.

   Do good. Seek to bless the lives of others.

• Have a pure heart.

   Pure motives. 

Is it possible to have clean hands but not have a pure heart?

Yes. 

How are hands made clean? 

• By seeking to be unselfish and generous toward others.
• By overcoming sin and evil influences through the Atonement. 

How are hearts purified?

• By receiving Christ's strengthening power to do good.
• By seeking to become better

No matter what we think or feel in our hearts; no matter what our motives are. No matter how good our works are, they can NEVER alone give us the clean hands and pure heart needed to upward spiral.

 There is a missing ingredient: The cleansing and redeeming power  of the Atonement of Jesus Christ! 

This is the ONLY way to overcome sin. 

The Atonement has a sanctifying and strengthening power.

This power helps us become better than we ever could by relying only upon our own strength. 

No one should overlook this power. 

"The infinite Atonement is for both the sinner and for the saint in each of us:"

For the sinner: repentance; cleansing.

For the saint: improvement

How exactly does one do these things? I want a step-by-step, nitty gritty plan for this. I want to know what exactly to teach my children. This is ultimately important. 

Here is the simple answer: 

From the Book of Mormon. King Benjamin taught about the mission of Jesus Christ--His Atonement. What he taught caused the hearers to fall to the earth because "...they had viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the earth. And they all cried aloud with one voice, saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who created heaven and earth, and all things; who shall come down among the children of men" (Mosiah 4:2; emphasis added).

image: lds.org

Is it really that easy? As easy as looking at a brass serpent on a pole? As simple as asking for it? Like asking your mom for a cookie?

Let's look at that again…

"...O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified…."

Is it really that easy? Easy? Yes, but as simple as asking for a cookie? Probably not. Desire and belief must be part of the equation--desire to have sins removed; to be clean and belief in the Savior Jesus Christ and his ability to forgive and cleanse through His Atonement.

Christ's Atonement offers us a twofold blessing:

•  forgiveness of sin = clean hands
•  transformation of our nature = pure hearts


Whenever human nature is mentioned, it takes my mind to Mosiah 3:19 -


"For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father."

Here is my commitment with the covenant I've made:

• "Yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit"
• Put off the "natural man."


Without the power of Christ's Atonement, I remain an "enemy to God," and I have no hope of fulfilling my part of the covenant. 


King Benjamin, in the Book of Mormon, reiterated the importance of these two basic aspects of spiritual development:

"And now, for the sake of these things which I have spoken unto you-that is, for the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God - I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor" (Mosiah 4:26).

What specifically should we seek?

• remission of sins from day to day
• to walk guiltless before God


When I go to be judged of Jesus Christ, I must have more than just clean hands. He is as "a lamb without blemish and without spot" (1 Peter 1:19). He freely spilled His blood for me, but it was wasted if I don't use it by desiring, believing, and asking for the power of this sacrifice to be applied to me.




Is this really attainable in my life? 

No one will be perfect in this life.

How to strive for perfection in this life:

• press forward with faith in Christ 
• find and follow the strait and narrow path 
• make steady progress toward our eternal destiny


How is it done?

•  "line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little" (2 Nephi 28:30).
• Small, steady, incremental spiritual improvements.
• Prepare to walk guiltless before God 


Not from sporadic spurts of intense spiritual activity—consistent behaviors.

This is what's so hard for me. Being consistent in anything is difficult. Fits and spurts are much more my style, but maybe the Atonement can help me with this too--self-control, persistence, consistency of behavior.

The only way to upward spiral.

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