A Sweet Tribute

I needed to share this this morning. For anyone who followed Morgan's story here, this is quite touching.

Hesses Madhouse People of the Year

Time Magazine revealed its person of the year today, so I thought it might be fun to announce mine as well.  Here are the rules.  A person of the year cannot live in the Madhouse and he/she cannot be a person I work with directly through church.   He/she has to be someone I've met face-to-face.

There have been so many that have influenced my life in 2011.  Here are a few:

My cousin C.J.

I hadn't met C.J. until this year.  I had seen pictures of her when she was a child and heard stories about her from my mom, but we'd never met until 2011.  She came from Idaho and helped organize the Stegner family reunion.  She came and lived under our roof for a few days and bonded with #6 almost immediately.  It was a JOY to meet her and spend time with her on two different occasions.  So happy to have her in my life now!

The Asanos

The Asanos lost everything during the tsunami in March.  They are the representatives for Mormon Helping Hands in Furukawa, Japan.  After losing all that they owned, they didn't sit around feeling sorry for themselves but immediately jumped in to serve those around them.

Stegner cousins

C.J. is in the photo as well, but these people came from far away just to meet up with family.  I was impressed with the bond that forged immediately when I met them.  LOVED being with them and hope this won't be the only reunion we have.

The Holz cousins--my mom's mom's side of the family.  These people had no clue who I was, I'm sure, but they made the effort to get together for dinner.  I descend from most of the Holz' great aunt, who had only one child, my mother.  These Holz's descend from my grandmother's brothers.  Funny how family just feels like...well...family from the moment you meet them.  Special thank you to Jeff for taking the time to play tour guide as well.  So great to get to spend time with him and all of the Holz's and Stegner's.  Love you all!

Sister-in-law Janelle

Oh my goodness!  Not enough can be said about this WONDERFUL woman!  I LOVE her!!!  She jumped in when I said I was going to Spokane.  She was the driver of the rental car--thank goodness (I can get lost in my own backyard).  She had a brand new calling as Relief Society president in her ward but left and came with me.  She was more than patient while we sat and chatted about family and was just sweet and kind the entire time.

Dear friend Tonya

I look at her photo, and I just want to cry.  Tonya was my salvation more than once during 2011.  It's been an intense year.  Tonya went back to school, yet she took the time for a friend.  On more than one occasion, the phone would ring and there would be Tonya on the other end of the phone asking if I wanted to have a spontaneous girls' night out.  Thank you, Tonya, for taking the time out of your busy life to prevent me going any further insane.  I LOVE spending time with you!  You are an angel!!!

Taffrin

How could I leave out Taffrin?  I have loved Tuesdays.  They have been an opportunity to look a little closer at that light at the end of the tunnel that has been school.  It has given me a glimpse of what life will be like--spending time with my children and doing things we like to do--not always sacrificing for the things their mom has to do.

Cub Master Steve

This man puts his ALL into his calling.  He goes above and beyond for the kids in our ward.  You'll notice the boy in the photo has a red mark on his face.  Steve makes scout rituals memorable.  I appreciate the friendship our family has with his.  Thank you for the example of service, Steve!

Tom

Tom should probably have been on my list a couple years ago, but I didn't have a list back then.  I was happy to run across this photo of 2011.  Here, #2 is getting his Life Scout award.  His next step is Eagle.  I include Tom here because I give Tom 95% of the credit for #2 getting to this point.  Tom, who wasn't much of a scouter in his youth, fully embraced that fact and makes it possible and easier for this younger generation to achieve more.  I appreciate those who make time and the effort to help my kids out.

Jayne

I was so impressed with Jayne!  She and Chuck with the museum were wonderful to meet and spend time with while we were up in Spokane.  I had been in touch with Chuck for months before we took the trip, but I hadn't had much contact with Jayne.  She was fabulous!  Her outgoing, warm personality made her a friend immediately.  She's doing a wonderful work for the Spokane Valley and preserving its history.

Julia

Julia is WONDERFUL!  Most of the photos you see on this blog--on the header and on the sidebars, were taken by Julia.  She also did #1's senior photos this year and made the special trip up here to Portland to take some photos of #7.  She's got some AMAZING talent.  I wish I had a photo of her taking pictures.  She's down laying on the ground, climbing on things....It's fun to watch.  She's always thinking and just views life in such an artistic way.

Vic - Morgan's grandmother

Oh how I love this woman!  I have also been impressed by Morgan's mom, but I've never met her face-to-face, or she would  have definitely been on my list.  I have known Vic for more than twenty years.  During 2011, as they faced the ups and downs and ultimate passing of Morgan, Vic commented about how she never thought she'd ever be strong enough to handle something such as that.  I just want to assure you, Vic, that the rest of us knew you could.  You are a wonderful example of Christ-like love and service.  Thank you for the example you've set for so many of us!


So many others should be on this list, but I have limited the list to 12--one for each month of the year.

It has been a wonderful year!  A HUGE and special thank you to those who supported #1 and me and our trip to Japan--through donations, cookbook purchases, kind thoughts and words and especially prayers on our behalf.  Thank you to those of you who've helped get kids to and from school.  Thank you to those who've taught my children at school and church.  Thank you to those who've watched my kids so I could study or take a break.  Thank you to fellow bloggers who've shared your wisdom and experience and thus made my life just a bit easier.  Thank you MOST OF ALL to my family--fellow residents of the Madhouse-- for your patience and support as I've attempted to keep a grasp on just who I am supposed to be and have attempted to see some personal goals through to fruition this past year.  Thank you for loving me through it all.  I look forward to 2012 with you!

Victory Morgan (2008-2011)

"The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth." - Joseph Smith

Mercies in Disguise

Just found this posted on Facebook. Beautiful! The longer I live, the more I realize the truths sung in this song....




Here's the thing....This song grabbed me more than anything else because Morgan's mother Jenedy posted it.

They have remained in my prayers these past weeks. I have been praying for strength and healing for them. It's nice to see that He is very aware of them. This song is witness of that for me.

Saturday Morning at 11am

Morgan's toys were arranged into the flowers.

Ogden City Cemetery

Image credit: Morgan's Grandfather (above)
Jennifer (right)

Morgan's Funeral - Letting Go

"When the balloons were released, it was very quiet. All I heard was Jenedy's sweet voice say, 'Bye Morgan' as she let go of her balloon." --Jennifer

As everyone watched them fly away, here's what was happening down on the ground...

Good-bye Morgan.

Image credit:  
#1,2,4,5 - Jennifer
#3,6 - Jamie and Stephanie

Morgan's Funeral - His Mom's Words

I just received this from Morgan's grandfather....


"To all those that weren't able to attend Morgan's funeral yesterday, here are the remarks of his momma:

"The first thing that needs to be said today is: Thank you. Thank you to all of you angels in the audience that have helped ease the tremendous burden that was placed upon our shoulders. Victor and I have stood in awe and wonder at the amount of generosity that has been shown us from friends and strangers. There really are so many good people in the world. It definitely has been humbling to be the cause of so many prayers and the center of so much service. Alma, in the Book of Mormon, says those desiring to be baptized into Christ’s church should be 'willing to bear one another’s burdens that they may be light; yea, and willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort.' (Mosiah 18:8-10). Thank you to all who have acted as the Savior would in bearing our burdens, mourning with us, and comforting us.

"As I have pondered over the life of my son over the past couple days, one word kept coming to mind: Patience. I think most mothers of little boys may also have this word come to mind as they think about their children. The patience to not overreact when they climbed under the barricade to get to the 'closed' flamingo exhibit at the zoo, patience to clean poo out of underpants for the hundredth time, patience to remain calm when they’ve taken a pencil to an original oil painting, patience to remember that a car is just a thing when they’ve carved an original design into the passenger door with a rock. However, Morgan has taught me so much more about patience than the typical toddler escapades, and it’s an interesting pattern that surrounds his birth and also his death, a pattern of patience and of faith.

"Victor and I were married in 2005, but decided to wait a couple years to have children so that we could graduate from college, get jobs, and save a little money. Then in January of 2007 we decided it was time. I remember how daunting the idea of children seemed at first to both Victor and I. We still felt fresh out of college and lived on a meager salary in the expensive suburbs of LA. We only had a little two bedroom apartment, and I wondered where we would put a baby when I needed a room for a painting studio. I wrote down some of our fears in my journal:

'Victor says, 'Once you have children, there’s no going back.” And it’s true, and it’s a big change and it will never be just Jinny and Vicky anymore, and it’s kind of scary. So Victor and I decided to pray for courage, and … received it. Heavenly Father said, 'Don’t worry, I’ll take care of your every need' and I know He will – He always has before. And it’s true – once we go for it, there’s no going back, but I just keep thinking once we go for it – we won’t want to go back. So the days of birth control have ended and the waiting for Victory Morgan has begun.' – January 17, 2007

"Little did I know then the wait that would then follow, my mom had always gotten pregnant really easy and I figured it would be the same for me. However, month after month continued without any luck, and it seemed each month stretched out a little longer than the last. I wondered if God really wanted us to have children, then why wasn’t it happening? My journal was full of questions, and I found myself really having to submit to the will of the Lord. I had to trust in Him and His plan and His timing.

"Now I believe firmly in the ability for us, as God’s children, to receive inspiration from Heaven regarding our daily lives. April came and I was going to visit my mom in Utah, I asked God if I could be pregnant for the trip so that I could tell my mom in person that she was going to be a grandma, I felt the warmth of the Holy Ghost confirm to me 'yes'. I was so excited I ordered a cookie jar for my mom because she had always talked about how she wanted to always have a full cookie jar for her grandkids. But alas, just days before I left for the trip I started my period, and the tears started to fall. I think more than anything I was sad about feeling let down by heaven, I had been so certain that God had confirmed my desires, and then it didn’t happen. I found this letter in my journal, written to my older brother Joseph that helps describe my feelings:

"I had it all planned out in my head. I would find out just before going to Utah that I was pregnant, mom’s vintage copper cookie jar would have come in the mail the day before I left, I would have found the perfect time to give it to her, and say, 'Do you want your Mother’s Day present early?' and then she was going to burst into tears and laughter at the same time as she opened her gift. And then we were going to hug and laugh and talk about buying cribs! But, I guess that’s not the way Heavenly Father had it planned. And sometimes it’s hard to let go of those perfect little scenes we’ve put together in our head. But the good news is, I’ve found in past experience, that when our little dreams get dashed to pieces, it’s only because Heavenly Father has a greater one in mind.

"(Matthew 7:11 says, 'If ye then being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?') …I think about how excited I get to give somebody something, or how mom would get so excited to give us Christmas presents that she would give it to us early, and that would kind of ruin the gift. Like the time mom bought me an Espirit orange puffy vest for Christmas … and she was so excited to give it to me that she had me try it on in like October, and then she said, 'Oh well you better just have it now, and I’ll get you something else for Christmas.' Well, thank goodness we have a Heavenly Father who has given so many gifts that He is perfect in the giving and in the timing. He knows just what to give and when to give it. So even though I may not be pregnant NOW, … the good news is (I) will still have the gift someday… just at the right moment. And so for the time being, as we spoke of yesterday, we will just have to be perfected in the waiting. Perhaps little Victory Morgan needs a little more time to prepare…”

"Several more months went by and I tried not to let thoughts of motherhood consume me. In October we gathered to hear the words of our church leaders in what is called ‘general conference’ one leader by the name of Spencer J. Condie gave a talk that spoke right to me. He referred to the story of Rachel in the Bible:

“'You will recall how Laban beguiled young Jacob into first marrying Leah and then Rachel. “And when the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren” (Genesis 29:31). And Leah bore Reuben, then Simeon, then Levi, and Judah. Meanwhile, Rachel remained childless (see Genesis 29:32–35).

"'With ever-increasing envy and mounting desperation, one day Rachel explosively demanded of Jacob, “Give me children, or else I die” (Genesis 30:1). Leah subsequently bore two more sons and a daughter.

"'The Apostle Peter testified that “the Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering” toward us (2 Peter 3:9). In this age of one-hour dry cleaning and one-minute fast-food franchises, it may at times seem to us as though a loving Heavenly Father has misplaced our precious promises or He has put them on hold or filed them under the wrong name. Such were the feelings of Rachel.

"'But with the passage of time, we encounter four of the most beautiful words in holy writ: “And God remembered Rachel” (Genesis 30:22). And she was blessed with the birth of Joseph and later the birth of Benjamin.'”

"In my journal I wrote:

“'I felt as Brother Condie spoke the words, “And God remembered Rachel” that (God) would also remember me. He did remember me – and this very talk was evidence of it. I don’t know when the Lord will decide to open my womb, but eventually he will.” (October 8, 2007)

"Then in November my mom was coming to visit, we were moving out of our apartment into a rental home and my mom was coming to help us with it. Just prior to our visit, I found out I was pregnant. When I told Victor he was going to be a dad, he started to cry and said, 'Oh Baby, you get to give your Momma her cookie jar.' He held me for a long time with his head on my shoulder so I couldn’t see the tears of joy that continued to run down his face. God had fulfilled His promise, and not only was I going to be able to tell my Mom in person, but I was going to now have room for a nursery and a painting studio.

"Morgan was born three weeks early on June 10, 2008, and he truly brought so much joy to Victor and me. We loved being parents, and Victor and Morgan took an especial liking to each other. Even as a 12 month old baby, Morgan would stand and cry at the door when his dad went to work, and then race to give him a hug when he came back that evening. Morgan and I loved to go places: the park, the grocery store, Target, and the library. We both got cabin fever really easily so we always tried to be outside doing something.

"One of my favorite aspects of motherhood is teaching, and watching my children learn. Morgan was a quick learner, and the older he got the more he surprised me with his intellect. I remember the day he was around 20 months old, and I was pregnant with True, and we pulled up to a Target parking lot, and the babe in the backseat started saying, 'T! T! T! Nook a T!' I couldn’t believe it! So I bought alphabet letters for the fridge and alphabet blocks, and alphabet coloring books. He had an uncanny obsession with letters and soon learned the whole alphabet and the sounds they made and would point them out on signs as we walked around town.

"I’d like to share a funny experience from my journal that happened on one of our outings together. Shortly after True was born I decided to brave running a couple errands with both the boys. I took them to a park, then the mall, and then to Staples to get a few school supplies for Victory (yes I was feeling quite heroic).

“'I had True in the stroller and Morgan running free. Morgan discovered a little ball on the floor of the store and was SO excited about it. “Ball! Ball! Ball!” He’d say and then giggle as he watched it bounce on the floor. I figured he’d just found some kid's left behind toy, but upon closer inspection at checkout I realized it was a soccer ball pencil topper. I asked the clerk how much it was – Morgan was in love with it! He didn’t know and left to find out. He came back and told me I couldn’t buy just one – they were part of some “fill the container for $5.99” thing. “You mean it will cost me $6 for this stupid thing?” I told him to forget it, but that sent Morgan into panic mode, “Ball! Ball! Ball!” I told him we were going to find another ball – there had to be another ball in the store for less than $6 right? (I honestly was surprised by the coldness of the clerk! Who wouldn’t just give the eraser to a two year old in tears?) So we set off looking for a better a ball. True started to get fussy – we had to act fast! I found a pretty neat rubber band ball for $3, but Morgan wasn’t interested. Then Morgan spotted the “Fill the Container for $5.99” display, and a whole lot of little pencil topper erasers! “Here they are! Balls! Balls! Nook, here they are!” Morgan said. He was so excited – I knew there was no turning back now. So I grabbed a stupid container that was cleverly divided into four quadrants so you couldn’t fit more than 3 or 4 erasers in each one! And you had to be able to put a lid on top! This was ridiculous - for $6! I tried to fill the holes with paperclips, but I felt like the kid at the ticket counter at Chuck E. Cheese who only gets a couple bouncy balls and a few paper clips for 600 tickets! But the excitement on Morgan’s face as he realized he could have not one bouncy ball soccer ball pencil topper eraser, but FOUR was so worth it! It was a good day. The whole way home in the car he was ecstatic! Even after his afternoon nap, he woke up and the first words out of his mouth were, “Balls?” So Victor’s been learning about “opportunity cost” in his economics class, and sure I paid $6 for a couple of cheap erasers from China that probably cost Staples pennies, but the joy it brought Morgan was priceless. Can you buy happiness? For a two year old you certainly can!” (August 26, 2010)'

"Morgan was all boy. He loved cars, trucks, and trains. Thanks to his Grandma Harmer he quickly obtained a vast Thomas collection, and could tell me the names of each of his 50+ engines. He loved to run, and would often say to me as I was attempting to cook dinner, 'Wanna play chase Mom? Come on! Come on! Chase me!' So I’d put down my spatula and we’d take a couple laps through the kitchen and the living room and he’d always burst with giggles as we did so. Morgan loved being outside. We moved in with my parents in August of 2010 so Victor could go back to school and he LOVED working out in the yard with his grandma. He loved getting dirty, and he loved throwing rocks in her pool and fish pond.

"Morgan also had a softer side, he loved to give hugs to his brother True and he loved to cuddle up with his dad to watch Cars for the hundredth time. On Sundays when I would get ready for church, I’d put on a dress and Morgan would say, 'Mommy you’re a princess. Wanna dance?' He also would point out in the mirror as I put on my make up that, 'Nook mommy. We have the same green eyes. Dad and True have blue eyes, we have green eyes.' He also was a great Mommy’s helper and would often help me with the dishes, laundry, or baking bread or muffins. He also loved to color and paint with me, he even oil painted a couple times and called it 'Goo painting.'  He also loved to watch the BBC Earth series and would point out all the different animals to me. His favorite episodes were 'water' and the 'jungle', and when we moved to Ensenada this summer he actually thought our backyard was a 'rainforest,' and he’d always say, 'Let’s go play in the rainforest, Mom.'

"Morgan was intense, inquisitive, and always had something to do. He was my side-kick for the past three years and made my life truly full. So you can imagine the shock that ran through my body as I faced 'every parent’s worst nightmare' on the morning of September 26th. It all seemed so surreal, like a dream, that in a moment or two I was going to awake from. And yet from the very first terrifying moment, I immediately felt the help of heaven and a strange calm. I knew that God was aware of Victor and I, and I knew he was aware of Morgan. I felt constant reassurance from heaven whisper, 'He’s going to be fine. He will be made whole.' Over and over again I replayed my favorite scripture in my mind, from the Book of Mormon, the 5th chapter of Helaman, verse 12:

“'And now my sons remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation. That when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless woe because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build, they cannot fall.'

"I knew the only way I would be saved from the 'gulf of misery and endless woe' the horror of every parent’s worst nightmare was through faith in Jesus Christ. He had been the rock I had built on, and He would continue to sustain me. The 6 ½ weeks that followed were some of the toughest in my life, because of the nature of Morgan’s brain injury, most of the doctors and neurologists didn’t have a lot of concrete words for us. Most of the time we just heard, 'wait and see.' I felt so desperate for help from Heaven, my Spirit was stretched in ways I didn’t think possible. And yet even in my darkest moments I heard, 'Look unto Me in every thought; Doubt not, Fear not.' And as I continued to do so I was blessed with the 'Peace that passeth all understanding' that Paul spoke of.

"I was reminded of the faith and patience that surrounded Morgan’s birth, and thought it interesting that Morgan was teaching me about faith and patience all over again.  This time on a deeper level. I knew that if I just continued to wait upon the Lord, he would answer my prayers. We all learned something of long-suffering and trusting in God even when we can’t possibly see how anything will be right again. Watching Morgan struggle was heart wrenching, and yet I was often called to remember the Son of God who suffered for us all that we might be freed from sin and from death, and I came to know Him better in the process. I kept looking at Morgan and wondering when he would be freed from the prison his body had become. I prayed that the Lord would deliver him. Then on November 12th, Morgan was freed. It didn’t happen the way I anticipated, but I think all of us were grateful that Morgan was able to run again and escape the bounds of the hospital bed.

"I woke up the next morning with so many questions in my heart, and concluded with this entry in my journal:

“'I still don’t understand everything, why we felt for so long that Morgan would recover. Why we felt so strongly that he would be made “whole”, “healed” and live. I do know God’s promises are eternal, and that Morgan will be whole in the resurrection, and that he will continue to “live” though temporarily separated from his body (and from us). But I really anticipated a Lazarus like miracle, I just expected the Priesthood to miraculously fix everything that medicine couldn’t, and for Morgan to wake up and say, "Hi Mom! I fell in the pool – sorry. Let’s go home." I truly expected a miracle that would baffle all the doctors and be one comparable to those in the Bible. I really felt like father Abraham, with our son on the altar, and if I just had enough faith an angel would come and save him. I thought of his name and knew he would have the “Victory”, but I was just thinking then of a mortal Victory, and isn’t an eternal victory so much greater? My mom says God answers our prayers the way we want Him to, or better, and perhaps Morgan’s Victory over the tests of life is the better answer? What more could a parent desire than to know their child made it to the Celestial Kingdom? Fully covered and accounted for by the atonement of Christ. What greater Victor is there?

“'But thanks be to God, which giveth us the Victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.' -1 Corinthians 15:57"

Morgan's Funeral - His Dad's Words

From the Eggleston's friend, Jennifer:

"I loved what Victor had to say today...
"In summary, here were a few of his thoughts ...


"Morgan gave the best hugs. Always laughing and smiling. He loved the beach. Morgan loved hamburgers too and would sometimes ask, 'How about a “hanger” dad?' When Morgan wanted you to pick him up he would say 'Hold you?'

Image credit:  Morgan's mom

"...I’m going to miss him a lot.

"In honor of Morgan, three main thoughts have come to mind. First, faith. My faith has been strengthened.

"Second, love. The service provided by so many has shown me what love is. This experience has brought me closer to my wife. I’ve come to understand the love our Heavenly Father has for us. Watching my first born son suffer and die makes me more aware of how much our Father in Heaven loves us and how much he wants for us.

"Third, understanding what Heaven might be like...

"What motivation do we have to attain heaven? Thinking about the writings from CS Lewis 'Most people, if they have really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that can not be had in this world.'

"When I’ve thought about having Morgan back, I’ve felt in my heart that I’ve had a glimpse into heaven. There’s nothing like experiencing the antitheses of heaven that makes you want it more.

"Sometimes I wonder if Morgan had died on some incredible journey that maybe his death would have been more justified, perhaps like those early pioneers who crossed the plains to settle in the west. I’ve always been amazed at how many people gave their lives so we could have a better life. But I realize we don’t have wagons or handcarts, regardless we are all on a journey. I know this experience has touched and had an impact on many people and brought my family closer together and closer to God. It’s my hope that it will do the same for you and many other people."

A Touch of Class

One thing's for certain, since following Morgan's journey, I have been impressed by his mother over and over again.  What a woman of strength!

As you know, I know Morgan's dad's family.  I didn't know anything about Jenedy, only that she's an artist.  Boy, did Victor do a good job finding her!  I think every mother hopes that her son will end up with such a woman as she is.

In this photo...

...you can see Jenedy standing in the front to the far right wearing white.

Yes, that's what I said, "white."

Tradition says that we wear black to funerals.  Why?

As I did the dishes this morning, I got to pondering on the significance of the wearing of white to a funeral, and to me, this makes SO MUCH more sense considering what we L.D.S. people believe.

He is not gone forever.  He has moved on, and someday, she will too, and she will be with him again.

Yes, I LOVE that his mother wore white!  What a symbol of hope.


This reminded me of something else that we L.D.S. people do, and I've ranted about it before.  We sing a song that was sung by the pioneers:  "Come, Come Ye Saints."  Without fail, for the last verse, the tempo slows, and we sing it as a dirge (a song of death and despair).  Let me share these words for you...

"And should we die before our journey's through.  Happy day.  All is well....."

Shouldn't this be sung more upbeat than the rest?  What do we really believe?  "Happy day!"

I'm sorry to go on this here and now.  It just bugs me.  If we really mean it, then shouldn't we sing it as we mean it?  This life is NOT the end.

Thank you, Jenedy, for that reminder!

Morgan's Funeral - Stake President's Message

The following is courtesy of Jennifer, a friend of the Eggleston's, who was at the funeral service for Victory Morgan yesterday.  I was overjoyed when I found her last night.  I know that many of us who know the Eggleston's would have loved to have been at the service, so I felt that when I found her, I'd found a real treasure.  I want to thank her for granting me permission to share the proceedings.

I also need to explain for anyone who's been following Morgan's family's ordeal that we are L.D.S.  In other words, we are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  In some instances, we have our own vocabulary, so as much as possible, I will try to define just what is meant as we run across these terms in these next few posts.

First, what follows is the message from the Stake President.  A "Stake" is simply a very large congregation determined by geographical area.  A stake is made up of smaller congregations called "wards."  Each ward has its own name, so does each stake.  Each ward has a bishop who leads it, and each stake has a stake president who oversees all the bishops and thus all the wards.


The Stake President had this to say at the service....

"Children are an important part to how we receive joy. The power of the atonement is what allows us to convert sorrow and grief and transform it into joy. It’s difficult to understand at this time, but in Doctrine & Covenants 101:36 it says - 'Wherefore fear not even unto death for in this world your joy is not full, but in me, your joy is full.' Today we’re here to mourn with those that mourn, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort. That’s why we’re here, to do what we can to help and to tell this family that we love them. However we could be here mourning for joy lost, as Morgan is no longer with us. But because of our knowledge of the gospel and the atonement, and the plan of salvation, I submit to you that we are here to mourn for joy postponed. That is a promise from our father in heaven, that joy will be returned."


If, while you read any of these posts, you're curious about what we believe, you can go here.

Morgan's Funeral Service - from Morgan's Grandfather

I wrote to Morgan's grandfather. Here's his reply this afternoon:

"We are doing ok. Victor and Jenedy , and Bishop and Stake Pres spoke. Jenedy's father ... gave opening prayer, I gave closing prayer. Jenedy's mother gave family prayer before casket was rolled into chapel. I did ok until closing song "Behold A Royal Army", then when the part 'Victory.....'. Brought tears to me briefly. Then I gave closing prayer."


For those of you who aren't familiar with it,here are the words to that hymn:

Behold! a royal army,
With banner, sword and shield,
Are marching forth to conquer,
On life’s great battlefield;
Its ranks are filled with soldiers,
United, bold and strong,
Who followed their Commander,
And sing their joyful song.


Refrain:
Victory, victory,
Through Him that redeemed us!
Victory, victory,
Through Jesus Christ our Lord!
Victory, victory, victory,
Through Jesus Christ our Lord!


And now the foe, advancing,
That valiant host assails,
And yet they never falter,
Their courage never fails;
Their Leader calls, “Be faithful!”
They pass the word along,
They see His signal flashing,
And shout the joyful song.

Refrain

Oh, when the war is ended,
When strife and conflict cease,
When all are safely gathered
Within the vale of peace,
Before the King eternal,
That vast and mighty throng
Shall praise His Name forever,
And this shall be their song.

Refrain


So grateful to know that life continues on after this one.  Glad to know that Morgan is victorious.  Grateful to a Savior that makes this possible and loves us all.

Also from his grandfather:
"Many thanks to all who have prayed for Morgan and continue to pray for his family and those who have given so much time and effort on behalf of Morgan.

"We will be off to Utah for the burial in the Ogden City Cemetary on Saturday @ 11:00."

Balloons set off at Morgan's funeral.   (Courtesy of Jamie and Stephanie Robertson)

All the Morgan Links

I've had a number of friends ask what happened to Morgan.  They got into the posts halfway through, and because I switched blog addresses in the middle, it made things a bit hard to follow.

Here's the beginning.


From there, you can go to the list of Morgan posts on the annex site.
You'll want to go down to the last post first and work your way up to the top of the page.


For the posts on this page, go to the "Morgan" label on the left-hand side of this blog.


Thank you for continuing to pray for Victor, Jenedy, B.T., and Morgan's grandparents.

Morgan's Grandmother's Update - Nov. 13th

Image credit:  http://www.pinkpistachio.com/

"Dear Family and Friends,

"Thank you for the amazing support, strength, love, kindness, and faith you have shown our family! We have felt the gift of your prayers and thoughts through this journey.

"Morgan struggled to stay with his family and friends with the tenacity he has shown his whole life! He had a 36 hour rest and then stormed for the next 50 hours, Team Morgan were unable to control the storms. His body could no longer stay with us. We are all very grateful for a gracious Heavenly Father, who relieved Morgan’s suffering and took him to a better home. He left this life Saturday, November 11, 2011 at 1:00 pm surrounded by his brother, mom, dad, Grandpa and Grandpa... and me (and the amazing Team Morgan).

"Funeral services will be held on Wednesday, November 16; followed by a graveside service Saturday, November 19 at the Ogden City Cemetery. Victor and Jenedy meet with the Funeral Director tomorrow to work out specific details. I will send an additional update with that information.

"I personally have been blessed by the love and kindness that have been given me. Thank you for enduring this journey electronically with me! Thank you for cheering me on! I have never felt like I was alone; even though I am far from my friends and family. Thank you for the encouragement and support!

"It was with a grateful heart that I was able to be with Morgan on his last night in his failing body; giving Victor and Jenedy seven hours of uninterrupted sleep before they were required to kiss their Victory Morgan goodbye until we see them again in the resurrection. I held and rocked him as he stormed, trying to bring comfort to his storming body. After several hours of rocking him, I was supported by angels in scrubs, who rubbed my back and worked with me to bring some comfort to Morgan. While it is very sad that I won’t be able to hunt for clues, read funny books, laugh with him, or see who could run the longest- I know that I will get to see Morgan again, and we will get to pick up where we left off – and we will talk about his hard days and be grateful that he was not trapped in that body any longer. I know heaven is real and that families can be together forever. This brings me great comfort.

"Thank you for your on-going support through this journey, I pray that you know that you have been a light through some very stormy and dark days in my life. We will miss our Victory Morgan, but know that he was saying, “NO MORE STORMING!!”*.

"Love,
[Morgan's grandmother]

"PS:
*This summer Victor moved his family to Ensenada, Mexico to be with him during an internship at the University Baja California (and a whole string of Spanish words). During the drive and the first few days in Mexico, Morgan would walk around saying, “NO MORE MEXICO! NO MORE MEXICO! NO MORE MEXICO!...” After staying there for 10 weeks he was not happy to leave his first friend."

Qualifications

I woke this morning and immediately started beating myself up.  I am really good at that.

I have a friend who was just diagnosed with cancer and friends who just lost their son and grandson, and I sat in my room all day yesterday and wrote papers.  Ugh!  Where are my priorities?

School is in its final stretches.  I have finished the reading and studying for personal finance.  Now, it’s the HUGELY ENORMOUS term paper that waits to be finished and the final exam.  From there, it’s the careers class with its essays and resumes.  Guess what…after that, I get to write a big wrap up paper about my experience with independent study.  I will then be done.  My deadline?...March 31^st.   I plan to be done with the classes and be ready to start in on the capstone paper on December 14^th.  It’s going to be quite the push to get there, but I’m praying a lot.

I continue on knowing that the end of this tunnel is so close.  Up until now, I’ve been able to take my time and pace myself.  Well, this is the final stretch, and I learned from watching my kids as they participated in cross country this fall, I have to sprint.  It’s either sprint or give up, and there’s no way I’m going to give up now.

As I lay there this morning, I got to thinking about the other writing project that lies ahead.

Right about the time I left for Japan, I received an email.  It stated that the age requirement for Mother of the Year candidacy had been lifted and that I should proceed with my portfolio.  The portfolio is a big deal—letters of recommendation, photos, written essays describing how I feel about being a mother.  That kind of stuff.

Needless to say, as I pondered this, I got to thinking, “Ha!  Yah right.  Mother of the Year doesn’t stay holed up in her bedroom for an entire day writing.  Mother of the Year doesn’t cause her husband to do all the work while she sits around typing away.”

Maybe I should just bag the whole idea…but my letters of recommendation are done, and now it just sits on me to do the rest.  Maybe I should just inform the people that wrote those nice letters that I’ve decided to bow out.  Maybe I should face the reality that I’m just not the right person for the job.  Maybe I’m just not qualified. 

But then I got to thinking about my qualifications…

As I thought further, I realized that a Mother of the Year has the kind of husband who tells her to stay in her room and type up the papers needed to graduate from college so that if anything ever happened to that husband, the mother could provide for their children in his absence.  She would have the kind of husband who uncomplainingly stepped up and cared for everyone’s needs and supported her in her goals and desires.  He would push her as needed to be all she could be and was meant to be.  He would help her reach her full potential.

Mother of the Year would have children who were supportive and capable.  Those children could and would get themselves breakfast in the morning when needed.  They, too, would step up to help their mom and dad.  They would help see to each others’ needs and would want their mom around more than need her because she would have taught them the skills they need to be independent.

When we got word that Morgan had passed away yesterday, the tears didn’t start all at once.  #3 was sitting next to me, talking to me while I typed.  That’s kind of how the day was, it was almost like the kids took turns sitting next to me, keeping me company.  I jumped over to facebook for a moment, since the night before, I had had the feeling that his passing was imminent.  #3 heard me say, “Oh no,” and asked what had happened.  I shared the news with her, and the tears ran down my cheeks.

She sat with me for a few moments and then went out shutting the door.  I heard her holler downstairs, “Mom’s in her room crying.  Morgan passed away.”

Immediately little boys’ footsteps were heard running up the stairs.  As the door came partly open, I could hear one of them say, as he jockeyed for position and pushed his way through, “But I want to hug mom too.”  They came in and grabbed me around the neck.  #5 hugged me on my left side and then #4 took over on my right shoulder.  #6 was, at this point, just trying to figure out what angle he should come at me from.  They held me for a long time, and we cried together.

Can you blame me for feeling guilty over sitting and writing papers?

The only thing that keeps me going at this point is that I know the end is coming.  If I were to quit now, what kind of example would that be for my kids?   I need to continue to teach them that we see our goals to the finish, and we make sacrifices to do so.  But, oh man, that’s HARD to do.

I keep thinking that when it’s over I’m going to have all this free time on my hands, but you know as well as I do that Heavenly Father didn’t send me here for free time. 

Someday, maybe I’ll look back on this time with fondness and feel some amount of pride at what my family’s become capable of.  For now, it’s just a matter of enduring and plugging away.

I am grateful that today’s Sunday.  I don’t study on Sundays.  We keep it as a family day, so I will get the chance sit down with each of the kids and see where they stand on their goals and see what they need from me to see them through.  I am grateful for the time together with each of my children one-on-one.  That’s definitely something I’ve learned to appreciate through this whole school experience.  My greatest qualifications surround me and share this madhouse with me.

Pink Pistachio's Update

Oh how I love the photos shared.  She words things wonderfully.

The strongest people I know in this life are those who have endured adversity faithfully.  None of this was in vain.

Morgan's Grandfather's Update - Nov. 12th

From Victory Morgan's grandfather this afternoon at 1:12pm:

"Dear FB friends, thank you for all of your prayers on behalf of my grandson Morgan. Sadly I have to tell you that Morgans little body could hold on no longer. He left this mortal existence to be with his father in heaven where I know he will have much to [do] and see his ancestors who proceeded him. Please pray for Victor and Jenedy and [BT]."

Morgan--Final Update

Image credit:  http://darlingcollections.com/2011/10/05/

Just received word that Morgan passed away this morning.  I have no details just that.

I am hoping for official word from Morgan's grandmother, so I guess this is not THE final update. 

Please, please, please keep his family in your thoughts and prayers.  I'm sure they could use all the strength they could get at this point in time.

I just want his grandparents to know how much I admire and respect them.  What amazing people!  It is a huge blessing in my life to know people such as they are.  Thank you for your example of courage and service!  My love to you.

Morgan's Grandmother's Update - Nov. 11th

Before you read this post, I have to state how much I love these people!  Every time she writes, her comments overflow with gratitude.  What an amazing woman!


"The last couple of days have been a roller-coaster ride, the big scary kind! By Wednesday evening Morgan’s vitals were very low, he struggled to keep breathing. Morgan’s Team were sure that he would die any moment. Morgan is an amazing fighter.

"Thursday morning, he did not look much better.  Jenedy decided that Morgan needed a shower; it had been six and a half weeks since he had been in the shower. It was a task that took a mom, a grandma, a doctor, three nurses, one aide, and a volunteer. We gave him the whole spa treatment! The medical staff did not think he would make it through the whole process. Through the day Morgan made several slight improvements; the Team is reducing medications and there was no storming from 5:30 am Tuesday until this morning (Friday) at 3:30 am. He is just beginning to calm down. The storms are so hard on his body. It is difficult to watch, so the Team is increasing the medications to try to again get control the storms.

"Victor is in Tempe today interviewing with US Airways. He is also interviewing with Dole in Monterey, CA. (The mom in me hopes he chooses Dole, but for the selfish reason that he will only be 12 hours away.) We are so grateful for the these opportunities. He has been working hard at school; his team comes to the hospice to work on their projects. We are really grateful!

"Thank you for your continued prayers. Thank you to the City of Tualatin, for allowing me the time off to spend with my grandsons, son and daughter. Thank you to the folks at home who feed and take care of [my husband]. Thank you for the blessings you have given our family!"

Morgan - Stolen from his Grandfather's Facebook Wall

"Morgan, after a shower this morning.  Go Morgan, go."

Morgan's Grandfather's Update - Nov. 8th

 I missed this yesterday....

 

"Morgan's body is holding onto him while he slowly weakens. We, his mother and father continue to pray for him. I fully support the difficult decisions Victor and Jenedy are making. I love them and admire their strength and how close they are to the Lord."