Weekly Family Activities (with Lots and LOTS o' Links)

Monday night we sat down as a family and created a new and improved list of activities our family can do together. I was shocked at how many of them involved food (Ironic thing…as I went to write the last sentence, "at" came out as "eat"). One child would give an idea and another would chime in with, "Yah, and we can get ice cream!" or something like that. It was all quite comical. What can I say? We like to eat….Food is good.

Our goal was to come up with 52. Everyone moaned about this. They decided they'd each give two ideas, and we'd sit down again in a few months and do it again. Umm, no. Not going to happen. So, I forced the issue. It really wasn't that hard after we got going. We ended up with 71.


Here are the ideas we came up with:

• movie night at a theater (most likely this one)
• restaurant - this is my favorite at the moment, but who knows, this one's close to home and there's something for everyone--plus, there's pie! I guess it will depend on the night when we do it.
• zoo - this, for our family will require a membership, but it's such a deal compared with regular admission.
• OMSI - again, membership
• -children's museum - for this one, there is a free night once a month. It's surprising how much fun we all have here.
• Portland art museum - they have a free night too.
• picnic
• hot chocolate - in our family's opinion, this is the BEST hot cocoa, especially when prepared with milk.
• swimming - we buy a membership to this one too. It's a GREAT deal for a large family.
• Gilbert House - One of our favorites, and yes, you guessed it…membership. Only, the OMSI and Gilbert House memberships can be used for each other, so you only have to have a membership for one or the other. With the Gilbert House membership, you also have free access to the Children's Museum. Plus, the Gilbert House membership is a bit less expensive.
• park - we particularly like this one.
• water fountain - there are a few around our area, but I think we like this one best.
• basketball at the school
• Krispy Kreme - no explanation required.
• water fight
• temple - you don't have to be LDS to visit the temple grounds. It's a very peaceful place--a good place to go when you need to collect your thoughts. We will visit the visitor's center while we're there. The kids really enjoy the things they have there.
• the Columbia River Gorge - my favorite place in the world!
• pizza movie night
• barbecue
• Ikea - #6's favorite place in the world (and the kid's been to Disneyland?!) It's all because of the meatballs.
• marshmallow construction
• cookies - it'll be these without the M&Ms.
• chubby bunny - not being enormous fans of marshmallows, the hubs and I might just sit this one out and cheer the others on, but who knows.
• Waffle Window - What?! Food?
• Saturday Market 
• hot dog eating contest - I don't know, this might rank right down there with marshmallows. But for the sake of good ol' family fun and competition, I might be able to choke down one or two.
• Goodwill scavenger hunt - something was said also about everyone looking for the most hideous outfit. The winner buys it and the losers take turns wearing it. 
• basketball game - this is the kids' favorite family activity.
• tie dye
• soccer game - we usually buy a pizza, sit of the field and eat, and then go kick the ball around for a bit.
• make pizzas
• make wrapping paper
• make Christmas ornaments
• hike Council Crest
• family pics - this, believe it or not, was one of the kids' ideas.
• hide and seek
• frisbee
• capture the flag
• library cultural passes
• Powell's Books
• candy bar game - we did this last night, and I, very joyfully, ended up with my three favorites. Here's a very brief overview (our friends, the Boswells, taught us this game)….You get a bunch of candy bars (more than the number of people playing), two or more dice, and a small bowl for the dice to be shaken in. Everyone sits in a circle. The candy bars are placed in the center. Various people are given a bowl and a die. Those people roll the die one time. If they roll a six or a one, they get to grab a candy bar from the pile. They pass the bowl to the next person. Any time a six or a one shows up, the person who rolled it gets a candy bar. When all the candy bars are taken, a timer is set (we set ours for five minutes last night), and the play continues, only you grab the candy bars from each other. At the end of the game, some will have quite a few bars, some will have none. In our family, those who have lots share with those who have few. You get to eat what you win….Imagine that…Food.
• drive-in movie - we only have one of these left in our area that I'm aware of.
• game night - this is the new game we got for Christmas. The kids love it.
• Sauvie Island
• Skate World
• Candy Basket
• Voodoo Donuts
• TCBY
• ice skating
• froyo - #1 worked here before her mission. Of the places we've tried, it's our favorite.
• Simon says
• sardines - this is one of our most favorite games. It always surprises me how creative our kids can be.
• coloring night
• heart attack
• fork
• make blankets
• KFC - I wonder whose idea this was…..Hmm…I don't know….
• movie marathon - Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter, Mr. Bean (the series, not the movies), and others have been done in our house, but the BEST by FAR was this marathon which we did one New Year's Eve.
• Donut Day - better than Krispy Kreme, in our opinion. Plus, the owner's kids used to go to the school where my husband was principal, so we like to give them our business….a lot.
• go to a school play
• Pita Pit
• Rocket Fizz
• geocache
• frozen chocolate, die, clothing, fork and knife game - instructions for this game came from my dear Aussie friend Leanne. Her daughter's serving in the same mission with #1. You have a frozen bar or block of chocolate, a dice, gloves and other pieces of clothing, and a knife and fork. You decide which number a person has to roll before they can dive into the chocolate. When you roll that number, you jump up and start putting on the gloves and other clothing items. After all clothing items are on, you grab the knife and fork and attempt to cut into the chocolate. You get to eat any piece that you cut off. When someone else rolls the number, you're done. You put down the knife and fork and remove the clothing. That person puts them on and it starts all over again. (Leanne, I hope I got this right. If not, please correct me. Thanks!)
• Spoons card game
• Uno
• Apples to Apples
• root beer floats
• minute to win it games
• Farmer's Market
• Taffy pull

If you didn't catch the link earlier, here's how and why this all started. I hope this somehow helps your family as well.

Enjoy!

The Trap I Fall Into

There are certain things that just make life go so much smoother. I know this, but over and over again I fall into the same trap and try to ignore these things. Part of me doesn't want them to be true, but it's just a fact, they are.

One such thing is getting up before the kids are awake in the morning.

So, I'm up.

I'm done (at least for today--babysteps, right?) with being the sloth that lies in bed and waits for the kids to wake me.

image: teachingstars.com

At this point, my half of the bed is made. I'm off to get dressed, take care of my personal grooming, and get as many ducks in a row as I can before the kids (and husband) are moving about.

Now, the trick to not getting discouraged….Don't count on too many ducks. Be grateful that even one duck is lined up if that's all there's time for.

image: doctorscrossing.com

I'm off and running…..Wish me luck!

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The Snow Globe

I am so tired of writing posts and not publishing them, so tonight, I'm just going to write whatever comes to mind for five minutes, and I AM going to post it. No matter what it says, that's what you get.

image: jacquielawson.com

We got a snow globe today. I'm writing about it because it's sitting on my desktop. Not my actual 3-D desk top, but my computer desktop. My cousin sent us one last year, and my kids LOVED it. This year's is from the Edwardian era. It's just very Downton Abbey.

I downloaded it today. Tonight, as I was making dinner and music was pumping out of my computer, #6 saw the snow globe. He got SO excited. "Can I do it? Now?"

This was a great carrot. I dangled it for all it was worth.

He got right to work and finished everything on his checklist. He is now so prepared for tomorrow. I'm actually looking forward to waking up in the morning just for the fact that this kid has it together. He'll be ready to go, will waltz over to the refrigerator; grab his lunch; get on his shoes, coat and backpack; and we'll be on our way....Just like that. LOVELY!

image:
jacquielawson.com

This snow globe is not merely a shake-it-up kind of snow globe; it's an advent calendar. It actually starts to be really fun on December 1st when each day has it's own activity, but up until then, you can do puzzles, a game, or make snowflakes. It really is beautiful. I love that it is part of our Christmas tradition for a second year.

Thank you, C.J.!

I'm thinking that with this as an option, December's going to be a smooth-sailing month. They'll all get it all done every night just so they can play with the offerings of the snow globe.

Rockin' the Checklist

I made the rockin'est checklists for my boys. Seriously, they have everything shy of breathe and blink listed. Use one of these lists, and you just can't go wrong. There are three of them--morning, after school, and evening. I printed them, placed them so very carefully into page protectors, and inserted them into notebooks. I even made cute covers that say "[#5]'s Organized Life." Oh, and each book has its own dry erase marker.

So, as you can probably guess, the kids can mark on the page protector as they finish a job and move on down the list. When the day is done, they simply erase the marks, and voila! They're ready for the next day. Easy, right?

If followed correctly, the kids have everything they need by the door waiting for them in the morning. Their lunches are made, homework's in their backpacks, prayers are said and teeth are brushed.

The first day was HEAVENLY! It was a novelty, so they were

totally on board. Things were done early. There was time to play when all the work was done. They were happy, and I was oh, so very happy--almost to the point of joyful. I thought I had it all worked out....no more bumps in the road, no more late mornings.

I even went out and purchased a couple of alarm clocks since these two boys didn't have their own. Yes, the scene was set. Life was going to be absolutely blissful and worry free.

....And it will be.....Once I can teach them to self-manage, and I will. Believe me. If it kills me, I will.

The older boys have it pretty much figured out. The oldest of the three thrives on lists. It keeps things very solid for him. The middle of the three is of an age where he's learning to enjoy the consequences of good choices. But, the youngest of the three? Well......

Therein lies my challenge. I figure, though, if we can get on top of this together and let enough negative  and positive consequences come to pass, they will eventually teach him the value of these lists. The hope is that eventually he'll see the difference between how he feels when he does it and when he doesn't do it.

Let me give you a little illustration. Now, I'm laughing about it, but this morning, I wasn't.

We headed to school. The older brothers had it ALL together. They were smiling and laughing and life was great. The younger brother was doing the same, but then I double checked to see if they had their lunches. They got out the door so smoothly, I just felt that they must have forgotten something.

The older boy assured me that all was well, but younger boy shot me a look.....A look I recognize SO very well. It's the I'm-trying-as-hard-as-I-can-to-fly-under-your-radar look. So, I asked again, "Did you get your lunch?" He sheepishly answered, "No." Head was bowed and everything.

I said, "Well, run home and get it. We're not that far away. We'll walk slowly."

He continued the look. I encouraged a bit more, and then he said, in almost a whisper, "I didn't make one."

It was marked off on the chart last night. It was done. Why can't they make dry erase markers that only mark if you're telling the truth? Just think of how that would clear up about a million and a half things in our world!

After quite a bit of persuasion on my part, he finally went home.

He took FOREVER. I wondered if there were some kind of technical difficulties at home, so I broke one of my own rules and sent the older brother walking to school by himself. I walked back and intercepted the younger brother as he came around the bend. I opened his backpack and found a bagel and a box of raisins in his brown paper sack.

Do I need to continue this story?....It gets better.....

As I walked up onto the front porch with him to help him make sure that

he had an appropriate noontime meal (that first graders eat at 10:30am), I was a bit surprised at what I found....Two white garbage bags tucked ever so carefully under the bench on the deck. Huh? No. Uh uh. That is so NOT what I'm seeing.

Oh, yes it is.

One of the things on the checklist in the evening is to ask mom for a job to help around the house. This same child was given the job of emptying the garbages around the house and taking them out to the can.....Well....I think you get my gist here.

Not only did he have a lunch to finish making, but he now had some garbages to take out as well. Lucky boy! Look at all of these fabulous learning opportunities he's giving himself. Ugh!

He gave me a hard time about having to take those garbages out until I, ever so lovingly, explained that garbage attracts all kinds of small animals--rats, mice, etc. With trash that close to the house, the vermin will eventually get into the house....and then....you know whose room is the first they will find?

Well, let's just say that was enough to motivate.

The garbage went out, the lunch got made, and since I wasn't leaving until I had to take little sister to preschool, he even had time to empty the dishwasher.

We both got to the school in time for me to be there for my volunteering assignment in his classroom.

Yes, darn it! These lists WILL work. Do you now see why I say "If it kills me?"

Having seen them work so well those first few days, I still have hope.

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What I Learned from Silent "L"

When I was a child, I remember learning how to read. I recall the word "would" showing up on the page. I was a good reader, but it took me FOREVER to learn that word.

As we read in class, I remember my turn to read would come up. Without fail, as I'd hit that word, someone would blurt it out so that I wouldn't have to struggle with sounding it out and take valuable time stumbling over that silent "l." Over and over this happened.

Then, one day, I was sitting at home reading silently to myself. Suddenly, there was a word that held me up. It wasn't a long word, and I knew every letter in it, but I sat there and struggled. I tried to sound it out. I recall slowly sounding each letter out--W-O-U-L-D. I said it out loud, "Would." What word was that? I had never heard a word like that before. I had to have been reading it wrong.

Finally, I figured out that the words around it might help me figure it out. Sure enough. That word was "would!" Pronounced "wood." Got it! It clicked. From that point on, whenever I saw "W-O-U-L-D," I knew that it was pronounced "wood." I never struggled with it again.

You might ask why this is so significant to me now. Why would I even remember something so simple as this? Here is why.....And yes, my explanation will require another little story....

When #1 was about seven, I signed her up for swimming lessons. As she came out of the locker room and headed to the pool, with panic on her face, she shared that she had forgotten her towel.

My first instinct was to tell her to go ahead and go to her lesson. I'd run home and get her towel. I'd be back just in time for the end of the lesson. Something stopped me...."Would" stopped me.

I thought through the scenario....If I "read over it" for her, would she ever learn to "read" it?

Instead of grabbing my car keys and making a run for the parking lot, I chose otherwise. I told her how sad I was that she'd forgotten it, and I wasn't lying. I really WAS sorry. I went and grabbed my seat in the stands and proudly watched my daughter learn a new skill.

At the end of the lesson, #1 came shivering from the pool. She scurried, because "no running" allowed, to the locker room, showered, and clumsily pulled her clothes onto her wet body. Was I sad for her? You'd better believe it. Did I feel guilty because I could have solved her problem? Oh, yes, but again, "would" stopped me.

Sometimes (dare I say often?), teaching our children is painful. Sometimes, just because we are the grown ups and have been there, done that, and have the means to rescue them and thus relieve them (and ourselves) from any amount of discomfort, we feel that that's our duty. 

I was pretty sure that after that, #1"would" never forget her towel again. She had been allowed to have the full experience of "sounding it out" herself. 

Actually, the next week, as we walked through the door to the pool, #1 smiling, proudly, pulled her towel from her bag: "Look, Mom. I brought my towel." I never had to remind her about her towel again. That doesn't mean I didn't have to remind her about other things, but I guess shivering wasn't her idea of a good time, so the towel thing was covered.

I would propose that it is more important for us to use those feelings to react compassionately toward our children. It's in the allowing them to have the full experience. That the true learning takes place.

So, why do these stories pop into my head this morning? Well, as we were heading out the door to school this morning, one of my children started to walk out the front door without shoes or socks on. I noticed, but I said nothing. I knew that within a few steps out onto the deck, he'd figure it out and run back in, but before that experience could teach the lesson, his older brother called out, "SHOES!"

DARN! I guess that lesson will be reserved for another occasion. I "would" think there will be one.

Sadly, though, I do need to add an obvious note here: 

If a child is in mortal danger, for heaven's sake, rescue him/her (Did I really need to add that?). If it is a situation in which the child really can't fix it him/herself (for example, my daughter taking care of her fraud situation while she was heading to the MTC), you will have to step in and take care of things. 

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Seven Methods to Get Kids to Clean

My house has been clean for five days straight. Not a big deal to many people, I'm sure, but HUGE to me. Maybe we're hitting that stage. Maybe that's what comes after diapers are diminished because the last child is potty trained. Wow! I wasn't expecting that, and I can only hope that that's the case. Five days....Let me say that differently...FIVE DAYS gives me hope.

Here's the new challenge....It used to be that "cleaning the house" on a day-to-day basis meant tidying the house. We'd do the heavier cleaning, scouring, etc. on Saturday mornings. Well, the house is tidy. Lovely! Tidy. I'll take it, but I still want my kids to learn to work and contribute to the household daily, so it seems that the kids' daily jobs (I refuse to use the word "chores") will take a turn. Instead of "straighten the front room," it will have to become something like, "dust the front room" or something. I don't even know. I'm really going to have to look at this from a different angle. Of course, there will always be dishes and counters to wipe and things to sweep on a daily basis; it's just that that "straightening" aspect has somehow disappeared.

The other day, I had the joy of driving with my wonderful sister-in-law opposite me in the car. She rode "shotgun." I LOVE talking to her. She is mother to eight. My other siblings have two and three children, and I love them all dearly, but I relate with this sister-in-law very well. We see life very similarly.

As we drove we shared notes on how we clean house. It was so fun to hear how we had done similar things without ever consulting each other on the topic before.

Here are some ways we get our children to work:

apartmenttherapy.com

• Magic Scrap: This is a game my husband actually played with his students when he was a teacher, and I've heard my kids talk about playing it in their classrooms. Here is the premise. I will sometimes play this around the entire house and will go from room to room trying to find something that's out of place or a single job that needs to be done. I will write it down. Sometimes I'll even choose three or four things and write them all down. I invite the kids in and have them clean. The whole purpose is to find and put away (or do the job) that is written on the paper. If they do it successfully, the game ends for that room, and we move onto the next room. When all the magic scraps are found or the jobs are done, the people who found the magic scraps get a prize for each scrap they found.

  

  image: photo-dictionary.com

• Timer: My sister-in-law will take her kids to a room and ask them how long they think it would take to make the room look perfect. The kids choose a time, and she sets a timer. She will then dole out the jobs ("You've got floor boards. You've got garbages...."). If they get it all done before the timer goes off, they reward themselves.
• Top to bottom: This one is my favorite. I meet my kids at the farthest point in our house. I start delegating jobs to them as we proceed through the house. For example, we start in our upstairs hallway. I start out by asking one child to straighten the bookshelves. The next child is to pick up any scraps of paper or whatever off the floor. Another child is to go get the vacuum. We continue in this way as we work our way through the entire house. When a child successfully accomplishes one task, they are given another in another area. The child who is cleaning up items from the floor may next be assigned the scouring of the toilet in the upstairs bathroom. It goes on. As we finish one area, that is declared and we move to the next. I'm not sure why I love this way so much, but I think it must be because we're all working together for a common cause and no one is above another. I have found this one works best if I'm giving myself jobs too.

  

  image: creativeclings.com

• Job chart: This is my least favorite. We had a job chart for a few years and rotated jobs weekly. Everyone had an area of the house to clean as well as a job for before dinner and one for after. The kids did a really good job on these and everything got done unless someone was out of the house. The only problem I had with this system was the "But it's not my job" problem we ran into more frequently than we enjoyed. Actually, we never enjoyed it, so if it EVER happened, it made me crazy.
• On the fly: This is how I started teaching my kids to do housework. I wanted them to be the kind who, when asked, would jump up and do. I don't know if we ever perfected this idea, but remembering how this was made us abolish our job chart. From a very young age, I started teaching my kids how to do various tasks around the house--emptying the silverware from the dishwasher, rinsing dishes, folding towels, making beds, etc. As they grew, their abilities grew. I knew that if they knew how to do something it wouldn't be as overwhelming, so I taught them little by little until they knew how to do everything I did. My one rule in this method was that I was NEVER to ask my kids to do something I wouldn't do myself. Along with this, my kids were taught that using the word "no" toward their parents was as bad as a swear word. If they use it, they get an additional job. Too many jobs and logical consequences become a bit more serious. I try to keep track mentally of who has been asked to do things most recently, so I don't end up calling on the same kid or kids over and over again.

  

  image: dobsonfloors.com

• Pick and choose - This is the method we used to get the house clean this most recent time. I will go through the house and create a list of the jobs that must be done. I count them up and divide by the number of workers. Each worker must then choose that number of jobs. This time it was six for each person. They go through the list and we go around the circle over and over again until the jobs are all claimed. They then get to work on the jobs that they've chosen. I will list each family member and just what jobs they chose and keep that master list. I then make a list for each individual and hand it to him/her.
• The next step - We are implementing a whole new system here now, but so far, I don't like it at
  all. It exposes too much of human nature for me to be comfortable with it. I believe in rising above human nature and hope that my children will soon be up for the challenge. This requires them to serve with a generous heart. They must go around the house and find the area that needs the most attention and then do it. Unfortunately, as I've thrown this at my kids, they have gone for the area that can be done quickest and with the least amount of effort. Thus, human nature. Wouldn't you agree? I mean, if we can be lazy, we will, right?

I'm sure there are a million and a half ways to get kids to work. These are a few of the more successful ways we've tried around this Madhouse. We've also had lists and page protectors and dry erase markers and notebooks, but I'd love to hear of more ways. It seems that with nearly every way we've tried, a time limit, some type of accountability, and a reward goes a long way; although, I try not to do that every time. Sometimes, I think kids need to work just for the sake of work and with a feeling of pride in their abilities and in their surroundings.

I have also adopted the perspective that some effort is better than no effort at all. Take what you can get, and be happy with it. If you're not happy with it. Teach them how to do it in a better way. A good old positive pep talk goes a long way as well.

I must admit that sometimes I'm really up on getting my kids to help around the house, and sometimes I'm a HUGE slacker. Things seem to ebb and flow around here in nearly every way possible. Housework is no exception.

I'm sure we're not done exploring new ways of cleaning a house. Especially now that our situation has changed. I honestly feel like I'm in a foreign place. There are no dishes in my sink. There are no toys on my family room floor. SO strange!

And now that I've written this, you know I've just jinxed myself....

...A little game of Magic Scrap, anyone?

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Unity through Family Chaos

At the Warden's school, near the end of every school year, they have a big after school soccer tournament. Yesterday was the day.

The Warden invited us to come watch. I had to take #5 to an eye appointment at 5pm, so I turned him down, but after the appointment, knowing that the tournament was going to go on for awhile, I swung by the house, picked up the kids, and we took off for the school. #1 was at work and works close to the school, so she drove over and beat us there.

image: jsgilbert.com

Before arriving at the school, we stopped and picked up some pizzas. While waiting for the pizzas, the Warden called. He said that he saw #1's car in the parking lot. Where were we?

Although I had tried to text him earlier, he hadn't replied, so I didn't know that the tournament was over. We'd missed it.

I asked him to scrounge up some soccer balls, and we'd meet him there anyway.

image: rolphroadschool.com

We all met up at the front of the school and headed to the back. We broke open the pizza boxes and went to town eating pizza while we sat on the hillside by the soccer field.

As soon as the pizza was gone, so was everyone in the family. #7 and #6 were appointed team captains and each chose a team.

#7's team:
The Warden
#1
#3

#6's team:
#2
#4
#5

image: safelawns.com

I, being the odd man out, volunteered as cheerleader. It was pretty much girls against guys. They took off for the field.

You may wonder who won, and to be honest, I can't tell you. Chaos reigned in the funniest way. #2 was out there chasing people more than he was chasing the ball.

As we walked away, I turned to the Warden and said, "Now I remember why we had them all."

A little family activity once in awhile, no matter how simple, sure seems to increase family unity.

We're going back to doing this kind of thing once a week.

Tantrum to Tranquility

image: flickr.com

I've shared the fact that one of my children has some anger management issues, right? Well....I believe we're finally on the right track. I thought maybe I wasn't giving him enough attention and in order to deal with his anger, I needed to give him more affection and love and patience. I did. All I got was a lot more anger from him. My heart was getting softer, his was getting harder. I didn't get it.

Like happens so often, a couple weeks ago, I had an a-ha moment. Clearly, what I was doing just wasn't helping. Again, we go back to this:

Thanks, Al!

What I was doing was showing forth a whole lotta love, but the logic was sorely missing. It just didn't

image: tumbler.com

make sense. I was being a doormat...a marshmallow. What I was teaching my son was that he was in charge.

What it all boiled down to was the fact that while I was stressing over him, I was getting nothing done. Things were falling into more and more disorganization. This just wasn't fair. He was sucking away my time AND my energy.

Enough was ENOUGH!

Confession, this morning was so tough that I went up to my room, threw myself onto my knees by my bed and told God that I was DONE. I had my little temper tantrum before the Lord and got back up. I will be honest, though, I was truly wondering how I was going to handle it all. 

As I walked back downstairs, I remembered something I'd used with kids in that past. Suddenly, I had a little trick up my sleeve (a strategy, if you will). I was in charge of the situation and that helped me to regather the peace required. I went at it all surprisingly calmly. 

I realized that I needed to return to the "energy suck" mentality because literally, that's what he was doing. I hadn't had to pull this card on any of my children in so long, I'd forgotten all about it. You know, the old "You're sucking away my energy, and the only way to refill it is to do some of the work I would be doing if I had more energy?" Yah, that one.

In other words, when this child freaks out, a job is required. You'd think this would make the anger worse, but as the jobs pile up, all I have to do is hold up fingers for how many jobs, and he cools right down. What I've really learned, though, is to never let him see me sweat. I have to be as calm and cool as can be, and sometimes, that's SUPER hard. 

The other thing I have discovered, though, is that I have to have some kind of goal to work toward--"These must be done before you can go to bed," "I'm making cookies this afternoon. If you'd like to join in, your jobs will have to be done," etc.

So far, so good. I think the added perk is that when he successfully finishes a job, he truly feels good about himself; thus reducing the anger even more.

It's been a rough morning this morning. We got all the way up to ten jobs, but I guess I should clarify....

It's been a rough morning...for him. For me, once I got off my knees, it's been pretty darned blissful.

Never did I think I'd thank my son for his anger issues, but man, they're really paying off. Life around here is quite a bit more peaceful and things are starting to really shape up.

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My Eyes Have Been Opened

I haven't revamped too much around here. Not as much as I would like to, but those changes will come in the future. For now, I've added two tabs at the top (more are to come)--"What's for Dinner" and "This Week's Date"--check them out when you get a moment.

This past week has been very interesting...eye opening, even.

There is a Facebook group that I'm part of where I go to connect with other moms who have lots of kids. There is such a meeting of the minds there.

image: thelightsomelife.com

Well, a few days ago, I went there to vent about something that's been happening here and how I feel about it. In response, two women both commented about "Dressing Your Truth." They claimed that after they'd become aware of their "types," they came to understand and appreciate their children better.

Hmm...intriguing. I went to look it up. When I googled it, all I ended up with was a site that talked about what clothes are best for you....Nah, that couldn't be it. What does what you wear have to do with how you interact with your children. This just couldn't be it.

image: dressingyourtruth.com

I returned to the group to ask for clarification and was directed back to that clothing site. Really?...Okay. Maybe this was worth investigation.

Here's the deal...Actually, maybe I should let you look it over for yourself. It ended up being quite fascinating.

image: ctliveyourtruth.com

I just received the accompanying book in the mail today. I haven't read anything more than the introduction yet, but I can't wait to dive in.

By the way....Just in case you cared, I'm a type 1. Very obviously. All I had to do was see the word "disconnected," and I knew exactly where I fit.

image: 40plusstyle.com

Take a look. I'd love to know what you think. What type are you?

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Manicotti in the Crockpot? A TOTAL WINNER!

image: blogs.babble.com

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE manicotti. Seriously my favorite Italian dish. 

#1 brought it up the other day. Not sure what the context was now that I think back on it, but the wheels started turning...I wonder if I can find a recipe for the crockpot.

I had made manicotti once before. It was way, WAY back when the Warden and I were first married.

What a MESS! You had to cook the noodles and THEN fill them with the cheese mixture. No way! Uh uh! It was yummy, but probably not worth the work to get there.

image: fakinit.typepad.com

With this recipe, you just get the pasta out of the package, pipe in the cheese (I used my Pampered Chef thingy--not sure what it's called, but here's a picture for you), throw it on top of a lovely bed of sauce in the bottom of the crockpot, top it with sauce, meat and cheese and throw another layer of filled pasta on top then topping THAT with more sauce, meat and cheese.

I cooked it on high for a bit more than two hours.

Oh MY! YUMMMMY! And a whole lot less work.

Here's the link to the recipe again.

Enjoy!

Defusing Anger with Kindness

I believe I've mentioned before that Sweetie will sometimes get angry, and it has nothing to do with red dye. The red dye anger goes FAR beyond just being angry. It's aggressive and violent. His usual anger is aggressive, but it is calm-able. Red dye anger escalates out of control. There is no calming it. Sweetie has to let it run its course. At least, that's the point we're at now. Trying to flush it through his system by having him drink a bunch of water may have helped a bit last time, but I can't be sure. We've only tried that once; although, it did seem to shorten the duration of the problem.

When Sweetie is angry, red dye or not, instead of making things better, things are always taken to a worse place. For example, if I ask Sweetie not to do something and he gets mad about it, Sweetie will slam a cupboard or throw something. When I try to correct that behavior, Sweetie'll do something similar again. This will continue each time I try to deal with it.

Sweetie eventually ends up being moved to his bedroom or the backyard.

image: occupycorporatism.com

This morning, it was the backyard. I kept waiting for the police to show up at my door. Seriously, he was freaking out. Wish someone would put me out back sometime and tell me to stay there until I feel like coming in. It's the strangest thing. I walk him to the door and open it. Sweetie starts yelling. I say, "Please go jump on the trampoline and get some of that angry energy out there. Come back in when you're feeling less angry."

Within moments, the back door is being beaten on with whatever can be found. Thank goodness we have super good windows. Sweetie throws things and just really storms.

image: stokeelitetc.com

On a regular day, he'll take himself out there and jump to his heart's content, but when he's forced to against his will, it's like he's been put in a torture chamber. Isn't that just like human nature?

This morning, though, I think I finally found something that just might work in these situations.

image: jartheground.com

Each time Sweetie beat on the door or threw something, I told him he had a kind act to perform before he could come back in. He eventually caught on that the more he beat on the door, the worse things became for him. Sweetie built himself up to nine kind acts this morning. You could almost see the wheels in his brain switching gears. He had to start thinking of how to improve things instead of tearing them down. The great thing was that when he came in, my yard looked great!

I'm grateful for neighbors who trust that I'm still an okay mom even if my son is screaming, "Mom! Let me in!" in the backyard. I promise I'm not beating him. I just need to remove the angry child before someone gets hurt.

I'm doubting this tactic will work with Sweetie on red dye. I'm still trying to figure that one out. For now, he's doing fabulously in turning away from the things he knows he can't have....Thankfully.

The Simplest Crockpot Recipes: Chicken

Okay, are you ready for no-fail, easy crockpot chicken? These are great go-to recipes for any time you're in a rush. Most of these ingredients, you probably already have on hand. Throw them into your crockpot in the morning, turn it on low, and go about your day. By dinnertime, voila! Your house smells marvelous. Make a salad, and you have a no stress dinner.

Chicken Fryer (rinse and pat dry with paper towels before cooking)

Add  1 C. water

Cook on high for 4 hours or low for 8. It's done if the joints are coming apart from the body.

This chicken can be used for any recipe that calls for chicken (chicken salad, any chicken casserole, etc., etc., etc.). Wait for it to cool and remove the meat from the bones. The bones can be used for a future chicken soup, or throw them away. When fryers are on sale, I'll cook them up this way and then freeze the meat for the future.

Here are some options for this same recipe:

•  Throw in some salt and pepper. 
• Sprinkle with any one or combination of these herbs:  

                oregano 

                thyme 

                basil 

                lemon pepper

• Add a lemon, cut in wedges (and a bay leaf if you have one) into the chicken’s cavity for flavor.  Remove lemon and bay leaf before serving.

Chicken breasts - cook these recipes on low for 8 hours or high for 4 hours.

• Sprinkle with salt and pepper.  Pour 1 can cream of mushroom soup over top. Cook. When done, put chicken on a plate and if you want, you can make what's left in the crockpot into a gravy--mix 1 Tbsp. flour and ½ C. water (or milk) together in a small bowl. Turn the crockpot on high, and stir the flour mixture in. Cook until thick. Pour over chicken to serve.
• Pour in salad dressing – honey mustard, Catalina, French, Russian, Italian.
• Pour in equal parts of soy sauce, water and sugar and throw in some minced garlic and minced ginger (if desired). Cook. Serve over rice.
• Pour in barbecue sauce.
• Pour in 1 jar of salsa.  When done, shred the chicken and serve in tortillas, over tortilla chips, or over rice. You might also want to serve with refried beans, sour cream, and shredded cheese.
• Sprinkle with one package of taco seasoning and 1 C. water. Use for nachos, burritos, etc.
• Pour in one bottle of French or Catalina salad dressing, 1 envelope dry onion soup mix and 1 can whole cranberry sauce.
• Add 1 can golden mushroom soup or cream of mushroom soup and 1 envelope dry onion soup. Serve over rice.
• Pour in one can cream of chicken soup, ½ pkg. cream cheese, and 1 C. sour cream.
• Mix together  2 cans undrained green beans, 2 can cream of mushroom soup. Put in crockpot and add chicken. 
• Slice 1 large onion and put on bottom of crockpot.  Slice 4 potatoes on top of the onions.  Put chicken breasts next.  Pour 1 can cream of mushroom soup mixed with one can of milk on top of chicken.  Sprinkle with garlic powder if you want to.  
• Place chicken breasts on bottom of crockpot.  Place 4 cups of chopped broccoli on top and mix together 2 cans of cream of mushroom soup, 1 c. mayo, and 1-ish tsp. of curry powder, and pour over top. 
• Pour in 2 cans of Contadina Sweet and Sour sauce. Serve over rice.
• Pour 1 jar of spaghetti sauce over chicken. Cook. Sprinkle with mozarella before serving.  Serve on pasta.