Day 29- In this Past Month, What I Have Learned

I have learned:

to worry more about how you feel about others than how they feel about you.  You can control your feelings and what you do, but you can't control their feelings or what they do.

more about budgeting and feel like we're really getting on top of our finances.


that you can't ask your kids to do something you're not doing, and you can't ask your kids to not do something you are doing.  (This wasn't really something I learned but something I had reconfirmed).

how to cook with dehydrated refried beans.

that I can do hard things.

that reading the Book of Mormon and praying everyday keeps me even.  When I'm down, it makes me happy.  It creates a foundation, so I'm "driven on the waves and tossed."

a lot about what I want to do for a job in the future and how to get a job once I want or need one.

to act on any generous impulse I might have.



I think what would be interesting would be to answer this question here in a few months--after school is over.  I wonder what the contrast will be like between the student life and the non-student life.

Day 28- A Picture of Me from Last Year and Now; How I Have Changed Since Then

Okay, so this isn't exactly now.  It's actually six months ago, but I don't think I've changed that much.  My hair might be a bit longer.

Both of these photos were taken before going to Japan was even a thought.  I think, more than anything, it's been the inside of me that's changed.  For the better?  I'd like to think so, but I'm working through a lot of tough things right now--a lot like nearly everyone I know, so I guess we'll see how I weather it whether it changes me for the better or not.

I've been kind of quiet on the blogging front lately because of that.  I'm hoping to work through it quickly, but we shall see.

Day 27- Why I am Doing this 30 Day Challenge

The answer to "why" at our house right now is, "Cuz want to."

It's funny.  #7 is my first "why" child.  "Why" is asked over and over each day.  When the table is turned, and I ask her "why," her response is "Cuz want to." 

When she is the one asking why, each time I try to respond with a reasonable and logical answer only to be faced with another "why."  Finally, I end with "Cuz want to," and the conversation ends with "Oooh."

So, when faced with this "why" question, my impulsive response can be found above--"Cuz want to."

I actually looked forward to doing this challenge this year.  I enjoyed it a lot last year, so I thought it would be fun to do it again.  Next year, before I begin, I will edit some of the questions similarly to how I've been doing it as I go along this year.

Day 25- What You Would find in My Bag

I just cleaned it out this morning--not because I knew I was going to be answering this question because I didn't until just about 30 seconds ago, but because I had so many receipts and little papers and a package of purse tissues that somebody turned inside out during church yesterday that were floating around that I HAD to clean it out.

Now, I have my little black notebook with the cute Japanese flowers (from my friend, Christine), my billfold, my cash holder thingy, an untouched package of purse tissues, church keys, car keys, a small set of scriptures (that I got for Mother's Day years and years ago for this very purpose--to fit in my purse) and a couple of random cards that I found in the laundry room that I was too lazy (or was that busy) to put in my wallet while I was making lunch after I got the laundry switched out upstairs.

Nothing too exciting.  If I were to be on "Let's Make a Deal," I'd never get to be a contestant.  Sorry, no pipe wrenches or spools of thread.  Not even a receipt or an inside out package of purse tissues.  Pathetic.

Day 24- A Letter to My Parents

Dear Dad,

I had the opportunity yesterday to go back to the West Union building.  It's been years--since Mom's funeral--since I was there.  As I walked down the hall to the back of the church to leave, thoughts and memories of you came flooding back.  I neared the bishop's office where you spent so much time for a number of years of your life.  It was remarkable how suddenly the whole building was filled with great thoughts and feelings.  I loved going down, after church, back in those days, and finding you there standing outside your office talking to everybody as they went by.  Those were great times.

As I approached that area yesterday, there were people milling around, and I ran into the Fishers.  We chatted for awhile.  They both commented on what a wonderful bishop you were and how they miss you there.  They made me promise that I'd tell you hello, so here I am. They weren't the only ones that asked about you.  Everyone I ran into wondered where you were and how you were.

I ran into Sister Ellingson.  Wow!  I hadn't seen her in twelve years.  She looked the same.  Such a sweet lady with that twinkly smile (like mom's).  I got to hug her and made sure to thank her for all the good she did for you and mom.  I was glad I got that chance.  What a sweet lady she is!

So many have touched our lives, huh Dad?  Great people.  I saw Frank and Sean and Drew.  They all asked about you.  Drew and I relived your Sunday School class and the dumb chair.  It was funny but yours was the class we remembered best.  We even remembered which classroom we met in.  He said, "I remember your dad's class just because he was so funny."  Yah, me too.  Thanks Dad!

People approached me and shared thoughts of Mom.  I still can't talk about her with others without getting a bit teary, but I'm getting so I can hide it pretty good.  At the funeral yesterday, somebody said something along the lines of there being a hole that's been created by the death and they wonder if that hole will ever go away.  As they said it, I thought, yah, I wonder if it ever does.  Part of me doesn't want it to because then she'll be gone, and I don't want her gone.  I want her to always be here.  I think you understand that feeling better than anyone I know.  I'm glad that I can share that with you.

Dad, I just want you to know that I love you.  You're the "spay-shal"ist guy I know.  I notice you don't say it like that any more.  Sad.

I love that you have always taken the time for me.  Thank you!  I know you won't always be here and the thought makes me so sad, but I was happy yesterday to realize that there will be places I can go and people I can think of and talk to that will remind me of you and bring back the sweet memories and feelings I have sitting in my heart just for you.  You have left a mark on so many but especially me.

I'm so happy to be your daughter--it's an honor.  I'm so glad you're still here so my kids can spend time with you and eat your hot cakes and listen to your jokes.  Thank you for the time you spend with them.  I just wish there was more of it.  We'll have to do something about that in 2012.

You, in my mind, are all that a dad should be.  Thank you!  I love you Dad!
Love,
Jole

Day 23- Something I Crave a Lot

Three things (not necessarily in this order)......

Hmm.  My list has grown a bit from last year.

Day 22- What Makes Me Different from Everyone Else

Same answer as last year....Plus maybe one thing.

When the whole Japan thing started, my daughter said, "Mom, you're probably the only person in the world that could pull this off like this."  She enumerated some of the things that made it possible--supportive friends willing to make sacrifices for me, knowing the language (to some degree), having the drive to earn the money, typing skills to do the cookbook quickly and the communications required, having the recipes available to create into a book, having a supportive family to fill in all the blank spots and push as needed....

I got to thinking about it later, and you know what, she might have been a little bit right.

I do know, however, that I didn't do it alone.  Had I, I would have failed miserably, so maybe the ability to listen and obey, which I'm not always great at, was definitely a plus at that point in my life.

Day 21- A Picture of Something that Makes Me Happy (Wordless Wednesday)

Day 11- Another Picture of Me and My Friends

Really?  I had a hard enough time coming up with the first one.



That's as far as I got when I first looked at day 11.  It's now Nov. 23rd.  I'm not showing you a picture of me and my friends.  I already did that one.  Boring!  So, for today, you get my favorite recipe....

This one's tough because I have quite a few.  I could give you the recipe I use the most, the recipe I like the results of, the recipe that reminds me most of childhood--and they'd all be my favorite recipe.

I decided to share one the combines the last two, and at birthday time at our house frequently encompasses the first point as well.

I've posted it in the past.  If you haven't tried it, you HAVE to.  It's SO AMAZING!  Here's a link to it.

Day 19- Nicknames I Have, and Why I Have Them

Not much more to say on this one than was said last year, so I'd better come up with something new....

Hmm....let's see.  I was originally going to do my favorite photo for day 13, but I messed that up, so that's what I'll do for today.  Here, my friends, is my favorite photo....

His face says a thousand words.

Day 17- Someone I'd Want to Switch Lives With For One Day and Why

I think there's only one person in this world that I'd change places with if I could--and only for a day, no longer.

I mean, seriously, if you could have everyone meet your every need, and you could wear a tutu on any given day, wouldn't you do it?

Although, with this one, I think I might want to wait until she's a couple months older, so I don't have to endure any diaper changes, but otherwise, I think life'd be pretty sweet in her shoes.

Day 16- Another Picture of Myself

 

 

There.  Are you sick of pictures of me yet?

Day 15- First 10 Songs that Play on My Playlist

• "A Little Respect" by Erasure

• "Superman" by Five for Fighting

• "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan

• "Walking in Memphis" by Marc Cohn

• "Island in the Sun" by Weezer

• "Don't Worry Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin

• "Our House" by Madness

• "Kayleigh" by Marillion

• "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan -- not the official video (sorry)

• "Dancing with Tears in My Eyes" by Ultravox 

Day 14 - A Picture of Me and My Family

Okay, so I cheated and did this one already.  Do you really want to see more of me and my family?  I mean, my whole header is full of us.

So, I'm going away from that....

I've decided that day 14 is going to be to repost my favorite blog post.  Okay, so not so much a repost as a link to it.

Day 13- A Letter to Someone Who has Hurt Me Recently

I really, honestly can't think of anyone who's hurt me recently.  If they did, I must have let it go.  During this past year, I've gotten much better at giving people the benefit of the doubt and thinking that most people aren't "out to get" me.  I try to believe that there must be something about hurtful situations that I don't understand--maybe some background information that I wasn't around to hear, see, feel or experience.

So, sorry, no letter this time around.  I'm hoping that if I do this again next year, I won't have one either.  I think, actually, if I do this again next year, I'm going to tweak a few of the days.  Darn!  I wish I would have done that this year.  Maybe I will anyway. 

Let's see, Day 11 is going to be my favorite recipe and Day 13 is going to be my favorite photo.  Day 20 is going to be why I chose the guy I did and what I still like about him.  Day 26 is going to be if I could have a day to do anything I wanted, what I would do.

This actually gets me excited about writing the next number of days.  I was kind of dreading them as they were, and a lot of them aren't going to be any different than what I wrote last year. 

Maybe, with that in mind, in the future I'll make my own meme in which you compare how things were the previous year with how they are now.  Hmm.  Something to think about.  Maybe it'll be a new year challenge starting January 1, 2012.  Definitely something to think about.  If you have any great topic ideas, let me know.

Day 12- How I Found Out About Blogger, and Why I Have a Blog

That's right, I'm skipping day 11.  What are you going to do about it?  My blog, my choice.  Right?  I might come back to it, and I might not.  I'm pretty sure you're not going to lose sleep over it.  Let's just chalk it up to the rebel in me and move on, shall we?

Day 12 isn't an easy question, though.  I honestly don't know how I found out about Blogger.  Here's what I said last year, and yah, it's probably pretty accurate.  It wasn't some big "A-HA" kind of thing or anything.  It was just one of those "hmm maybe I should try that" kind of things.

The second part of this question I ponder about from time to time.  Actually, not even remembering that this question was part of this challenge, I was thinking about it on my way home from the library last night.  Ooh.  Weird.

Here's what I decided....

Mom; my niece, Brittany; and me

I was never one of those kids who called my mom everyday after I left home.  We remained close, and I would call her once a week or so (those were different days than these we enjoy now with unlimited calling and texting).  One thing, though, was that I shared EVERYTHING with her.  We were tight.

When she passed away, I felt a HUGE loss.  My biggest confidante and cheerleader was gone.  I had no idea, while she was here, how much I leaned on her to boost me up and sometimes push  me in the right direction.  Most of all, I took for granted all the times I'd save up the facts of my life to share with her for the next phone call or visit.

So, many years after she was gone, and many years of stories and experiences later, I found the blogging world.  It fills an empty spot in my life.

People ask me what my blog is about, and I really can't tell them.  It's just randomness, that's all.  I don't write the fabulous or the earth-shattering.  I write what I'd tell my mom if she was here--just the stuff on my mind.

The other night one of the kids asked about something that happened a few months ago.  It was so great to say, "Hey, do you want to hear about that?" and I quickly pulled up the blog post that holds the details of that event.  Needless to say, blogging has been a huge blessing in my life.

I'm happy to leave a record for my kids, so that when the day comes when I'm not here any more they don't have to wonder about what I experienced and thought about.  Maybe someday, I'll even have an answer or two for them.

That, my friends, is why I blog.

Day 10- Songs I Listen to When I'm Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

I still LOVE my playlist.  The other day I added on a bunch of random songs from my childhood.  When I found that I had used up my song allowance, I took some of them back off--sad day.

I listen to my playlist frequently.  It goes on after the kids have left for school, and I'm working on cleaning the kitchen and plays intermittently throughout the day.  It cracks me up when the kids go over and turn it on.  A lot of it is just music I've loved over the years.  They complain about a few songs, but for the most part, they enjoy it.  YAY for fun, peppy '80s tunes.

So, I have to add that the songs they complain about are "too repetitive."  HaHaHa!!!  Does this crack anybody up but me?

The other place I turn for music is Pandora.  Right now I'm trying out the David Archuleta station, but my most listened to station is Josh Groban.  Man, I love that guy's voice.  I'm finding that they play a lot of Sarah McLachlan's music, and although she has a very cool last name, I find that I'm not all that fond of her music.  Every so often I'll listen to the Taylor Swift station.  When I study, I listen to the George Frideric Handel station.  On Sundays, I listen to the Mormon Tabernacle choir or Hilary Weeks station.  When I'm hanging out with my little ones and when we're making cookies with Kaffrin, we listen to the Sesame Street station.


Sounds pretty eclectic, doesn't it?

I don't change my listening style much with my moods.  I keep things fairly happy all the time.  When I'm sad, I play the piano--particularly "On Golden Pond," "Princess Leia's Theme," "Jessica's Theme."  After my mom passed away, I spent A LOT of time at the piano--"On Golden Pond" was a staple during those days; you can make it sound as sad as you are.  Very therapeutic.

I have found that music can change my mood pretty quickly, though.  "Into the Ocean" makes me sad.  There's a Duran Duran's "Save a Prayer" is another one.  I always have to sing with that one.  "When I'm 64" by the Beatles just plain makes me happy.  This morning when the playlist went on, Anna Nalick's "Breathe" came on and I sang it at the top of my lungs--just a lot of truth to that song.

So, there you go.  All that didn't really want to know about my music listening habits.  Hah!

Day 9- Something You're Proud of in the Past Few Days

I finished the reading assignments for personal finance today.

I taught #3 how to make bread bowls and soup (from scratch) today.

My house has been looking pretty darned good.

I got all of #1's birthday shopping done in a few hours, and I stayed within budget.

Oh, and #3 and I got to work on her missionary project today and matched 50 missionaries with people to write them.  That was fun!


There...it said "something," but I had to put a few things.  Every so often, especially when you're having kind of a down time, you have to take a look back and pat yourself on the back a little bit.  Way to go, me.  Plus, I figure if I'm going to have as many short-term goals as I jotted down yesterday, I'd better have a few atta girls to go along with it, right?

Day 8- Short Term Goals for This Month and Why

Between now and Thanksgiving, here are the things I'm doing:

• Finish scanning #1's photos so I can make a photo book for her.  I hope to get all the photos in within the next few days.
• Finish all my reading for personal finance and start in on the big project.
• Celebrate #1's 18th birthday.
• Get through last box of papers.
• Start in on writing the papers for my careers class and for American Mothers.
• Finish the post for Women of Noble Character for this week.

I've been doing really well with keeping things to a bunch of little routines.  It makes life so much easier around here.  I've also started a new chore thing that a friend recommended.  So far so good.

Day 7- A Picture of Someone/Something that has the Biggest Impact on You.

Okay, so how about three pictures.

The Warden is that someone--FER SHUR!

Let's just think back into this past summer alone.  I ran off to Spokane AND Japan (yep.  That's a poem in the making) and he didn't even bat an eye.  He was at a retreat during part of the Spokane trip, but not only did he watch all the kids during the time we were in Japan, he supported me in the cookbook endeavor and even sold a few himself, he drove us to the airport, and now helps us out as we share the story with others--I call him the A.V. guy; though I have yet to see the A.V. card he says he carries around with him--Does anyone else remember that kind of thing from elementary school?  Man, I thought I was big stuff when I earned my A.V. card.

The Warden is not a complainer.  He's amazing!  I really don't know if I've ever met a man like him.  I feel TOTALLY blessed to have him.  He is a HUGE reason as to why life goes as smoothly as it does.

I scanned a bunch of photos of #1 today.  That's where two of these photos originate from.  There were so many evidences of what a great dad he is.  There's one photo that I have yet to scan that shows him showing her (she was super tiny) how to do something.  The photo right after it was #1 doing it herself.  He's the kind of guy who expects a lot, but teaches so that we're all successful at whatever is expected.

Once I get that photo scanned, I'll share it here, so you can see what a sweet thing it was.

 ***

Out of curiosity, I just went back to read over last year's post on this same topic.  I thought for sure I'd written about my mom.  If you're curious, go here.