So Many Sites. So Little Time

I have this really BAD habit....I tend to be the tab queen when I'm on my computer, and it's really no better when I'm on my phone. I have so many internet windows opened up you wouldn't believe it. I keep them there in hopes that I'll have a few spare minutes to give them a gander. 

Wellllll, lately, that just hasn't happened. I REALLY want to read them ALL. I decided today that I'd just create a big ol' list here so that I can come back and read them when there's time. That way my phone doesn't have to hold them until that time. 

You might think that adding to my reading list might help, but umm....I don't even dare tell you how many things are already listed there probably never to be looked at again.

As I looked at the open windows, I realize how much these sites reflect what's on my mind.

Just in case you have similar interests, here's the crazy queue of random sites that are now no longer open on my phone thanks to this list....

This is the site that's been open the longest. I'm totally going to do this--

http://www.un-fancy.com/category/capsule-wardrobe-101/

I was so intrigued by the idea of a capsule wardrobe, that I really want to spend some time perusing the entire site--

http://www.un-fancy.com/


I believe I ran across un-fancy because of this--
http://www.today.com/home/life-changing-magic-tidying-testing-marie-kondos-method-t21356


This was send to me via email on Mother's Day. Tells you how long things stay open, huh? I thought this would be fun for a series of blog posts--
https://familysearch.org/blog/en/52-questions-52-weeks/


This has been a topic between my husband and me for MONTHS. One morning, I randomly came across this one...Really. It found me--
http://www.makeit-loveit.com/2015/01/how-to-stain-oak-cabinets-the-simple-method-without-sanding.html


This is just part of an evil plot. My husband has three things that I would call his "dai-kirai" (Japanese for "big hate)...Barbies, cheerleaders, and BYU. What can I say? #7's birthday is right around the corner--
http://www.amazon.com/Barbie-BYU-University-Cheerleader/dp/B0012KL6SC


Don't even really know what this is all about, but I have a good guess, and it's definitely something I need to take care of--
http://fivegallonideas.com/emergency-kit/


Then I have this whole set of browsers open about household management:
http://www.household-management-101.com/weekly-house-cleaning-schedules.html

http://www.home-storage-solutions-101.com/bathroom-organization.html

http://www.home-storage-solutions-101.com/house-cleaning-schedule.html

http://www.household-management-101.com/house-cleaning-schedule.html

http://www.household-management-101.com/spring-cleaning-checklist.html

http://www.household-management-101.com/fall-cleaning.html

http://www.cleanmama.net/2015/01/six-things-i-do-every-day-to-keep-the-house-clean.html

This was for a lesson I taught a couple weeks ago--
http://emp.byui.edu/marrottr/ETB%26BoM.PDF


Then, there's the TED thing I have going on....
http://blog.ted.com/body-language-survey-points-to-5-nonverbal-features-that-make-ted-talks-take-off/


Which reminds me of another TED talk that has left a mark (this TED talk wasn't in my browser)--
http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en


I have this new habit of watching TED talks when I have insomnia. There have been some really good ones lately. Here are the two that I've been pondering on more than anything else (again, not open in my browser right now, but I've gotta save 'em somewhere):






Then there's the money making and saving ideas--
http://www.livingwellspendingless.com/2015/04/04/how-to-make-money-blogging/

http://www.thepennyhoarder.com/ways-to-make-money-at-home/

http://moneysavingmom.com/2015/04/6-ways-were-keeping-our-grocery-budget-low-without-using-coupons.html


A summer idea. Would LOVE to do this--
http://www.impatientoptimists.org/Posts/2013/07/Five-Tips-for-Family-Summer-Volunteering


A recipe I'm going to try--
http://www.alexandracooks.com/2012/11/07/my-mothers-peasant-bread-the-best-easiest-bread-you-will-ever-make/


Need I say more on this one?
http://kojo-designs.com/2012/04/getting-organized-a-whole-months-worth-of-meals-via-crockpot-freezer-cooking/


Then there's the family relationship articles that intrigue me--
http://familyshare.com/marriage/20-things-you-should-be-doing-for-hubby-on-a-regular-basis

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=34714089

http://www.mnn.com/family/family-activities/blogs/8-things-happy-couples-do-every-day



Oh, wait! We interrupt this list for a TED talk. Yes, this one was open in the browser:




Scary, and definitely worth a look. Gotta protect my kids--
http://pornproofkids.com/


Dealing with HUGE eczema problems for one of the kids right now. I think we're heading to the doctor tomorrow. Gotta take some extreme measures--
http://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/eczema/understanding-eczema-treatment


So, there you go....All that's on my mind and then some. Any of these resonate with you?

2014: CoDo Fa ReSp

As I read through my Facebook feed, I found that many of my friends had a very tough 2013. I hope 2014 will be better for everyone!


Well, here we are. A new year's begun, and my plan is not set and ready. I'm waiting for what some might call the "muse" to strike. In other words, I feel like I'm on the brink of something wonderful, but I don't quite have a grasp of it yet.

Here's what's sitting in my brain….
I need to have daily tasks that fulfill my desire and get me where I want to be.


Here are the parts of that quote (from the previous post) that are resonating with me:

• Covenants
• Doctrine
• Faith
• Revelation
• Spirit

Not just keeping these things for myself but somehow extending them into my family as well. The hope is that by bringing these things more strongly into my life, other things of lesser priority will be eliminated from my life. In other words, the things I need in order to fulfill my mission here will remain, the fluff will disappear.

I don't think it's so much that things will magically poof out of my life, but that I will be directed more clearly on what stays and what goes so that I can make these decisions myself with more clarity and less doubt and concern.


Very briefly, here are my impressions as I look at the above list….

1. Covenants - The promises I've made with God; the promises He's made back with me. I find these strengthened when I take the sacrament at church on Sundays and when I attend the temple. Clearly, these two things will need to be a bigger part of my life in 2014.
2. Doctrine - The things taught by Jesus Christ and by prophets who testify of Him. This is a matter of studying scripture and other words of prophets. Scripture study, truly delving into the things my heart catches upon, and General Conference will be a higher priority this year.
3. Faith - Action! Acting in accordance with belief. Faith is something that needs to be exercised daily. This is where the little daily tasks will come into play. What would Jesus do?….Well, this year, I'd like to find out.
4. Revelation - This was the topic at church this past Sunday--personal revelation. I want to tap into this better. Heart-felt prayer and then listening for answers are key. 2014 will find me spending more time in my secret place asking for direction.
5. Spirit - This is kind of out of my control. This is what I hope to have a greater abundance of in my life this year, but it is the result of seeking for it more diligently and intently. I know from past experience, the more I listen and obey those feelings in my heart that come along with ideas in my brain, they grow and increase in number. This is my challenge and ties in with each of the points listed here.

Here's what I gather will be the priorities in 2014 from what I've just worked out (not in any particular order)….

• More intent/focused taking of the sacrament each week. [Sundays]
• Regular and increased temple attendance. [Tuesdays]
• Daily scripture study (feasting) and seeking out the words of the prophets.
• Intent and involved General Conference participation. [1st weekends in April and October]
• Relisten to a General Conference talk daily.
• Daily what-would-Jesus-do? tasks.
• Daily heart-felt prayer (at least twice a day).
• Keeping a prayer in my heart.
• Listen for, seek out, and recognize answers to prayers.
• Recognize the Spirit verbally or in written form when it is evident. 

For today, I've got my work cut out for me….Got to get out a calendar and plan my tasks. There you go, today's task: devise a nitty-gritty plan while spending some time on my knees.

CoDo Fa ReSp! Getting down to the things of my soul. 2014 is going to be AMAZING!

Let's Start with Spaghetti

Before you read the post below, read this.




Just before heading to the MTC, #1's friend had a family move in with them. It just so happens that that family was from the Philippines.

Random? Okay, yah, I agree.

Wait….It gets better.

They were living with this friend's family until they could find a place of their own, and they did….In our ward boundaries (for those who may not know, a "ward" is an LDS congregation. What ward you are in is determined by where you live). At one point, I had heard that our ward has the smallest geographical boundaries in the state of Oregon. Whether that's still true or not, I don't know, but for them to just happen to find a place in our small boundaries?….Yah, random.

Then, okay, maybe not so random….I am made the wife's visiting teacher (in the LDS church, a visiting teacher is assigned to each woman to check in and make sure everything's good for the family. It's kind of like an assignment to be someone's friend. Strange? Yah, okay, but you really do end up being friends, and it's a lovely thing). So, you kind of get the picture of what my assignment is here. Well, my assignment has turned into a joy.

I have to admit, the first time I visited with her, I was nervous. We had chatted back and forth on Facebook a few times, but I really didn't have any experience with her, and I had to take #7 with me.

From the moment she opened her door, it became SUCH a SWEET visit. She even embraced my lively and wiggly four-year-old in her kindness. I couldn't wait to go and be with her again. I am grateful that I was the one who was chosen for this assignment. She has become my good friend.

The other night was her birthday. I went to take her a little something. The Warden waited in the car while #6 and I ran it in to her.


This woman invited us in and sat us down and fed us spaghetti. Not like American spaghetti or Italian spaghetti, but Filipino spaghetti. It was SO DELICIOUS!

We left with a big bowl full for the Warden. She had to share.


Knowing what I know now, is it any wonder #1 loves who she serves?


Yesterday we got word that #1 has been transferred to a new city. I received a letter stating the facts of her transfer. I want to share a line from that letter.

We were told where she will be serving and that it is a wonderful place, and then it goes on to say this:

"…The people are loving and kind, and you will also find the people to be hospitable….The members there are supportive with regards to missionary work and they are always excited to work with the Missionaries and involve themselves to the work."

These are the kind of people my daughter rubs shoulders with, and these are the kind of people I now rub shoulders with as well.

Can you see how this is not random? This is a small part of a much bigger picture. This is my life now. It's so different from what it once was.


There is one more significant detail to this story…..

Before you send a child to a foreign country, people tell you about the culture, the food, other little details. You don't really know what to expect.

So, in my first email to #1 after she arrived in the Philippines, I asked her about the food. Her response?…


"Sister E made spaghetti for us! Oh it was the best spaghetti I've ever eaten. reminded me of home."


Funny our parallel lives on opposite sides of the globe. Best spaghetti I've ever eaten. Reminded me of her.


People said there would be great blessings for sending #1 on a mission. I just had no idea.

Maybe you begin to agree with me….None of this is random.

What Lies in the Medicine Cabinet?

Here's the other story I was thinking of last night as I met with the Bishop. I DID write it down. YAY!!! I sent it in one of my emails to #1 a few weeks ago. It ties in with the other experience but is a bit more recent--mid-September.

For anyone that hasn't read the Book of Mormon, this is what it does for me....It opens a part of my brain and heart that would otherwise sit dormant. It helps me to reflect on spiritual matters. It brings balance to my life.

For anyone who hasn't read the Book of Mormon, do. But don't just do it once. Read it over and over again. Seek to understand what it's teaching YOU. Let it sink into your heart. It'll change your life!

This experience happened when I had just finished reading the Book of Mormon and was starting over from the beginning. Here's what I wrote to #1.....

As I read Joseph Smith's testimony the other day, I got stuck on the word "supplication." First, I looked it up. It said something along the lines of humbly entreating someone with higher authority to help solve a problem. Yup! That's exactly what Joseph Smith did. 

Then I thought, well, yah, that's Joseph Smith. Of course, HE could supplicate the Lord and get a major answer, but then I realized WAIT! He was, at that time, a14-year-old farm boy. What better example is there to us than this? I mean if a 14-year-old farm boy can supplicate the Lord and get an answer, why can't I?

Then I got to thinking about the honest reason or reasons why I don't supplicate the Lord more often. Here's what I came up with....I totally take it for granted that Heavenly Father will know my needs and meet them. I mean, He does that on a regular basis, but then this example occurred to me.....

#6 has been having some pretty bad asthma problems this week. Now that he's in first grade, he needs to go up to the office for his inhaler if he has issues. I mean, nobody's going to instinctively know that he's having problems and run his inhaler down to him, so he has to learn to watch for the signs and be proactive. 

In order to teach him this, I have to take a harder stance at home. I have to have him come to me when he feels he needs his inhaler, so each night before he goes to bed, I remind him that he needs to come ask for help when he needs it. So far, he hasn't come.

This is what I think is happening when I neglect the power of supplication. It's like Heavenly Father is giving me everything He can as I am obedient to His commandments. This is all FABULOUS, but there are so many other things that could be mine if I'd just ask. It's like he has his own medicine cabinet that's locked to me unless I use the key of prayer and ask Him to open it for me. He can (and does) give me everything He can that's lying on the "counter," but the most important stuff is just waiting for me to let Him know that I'm ready for it.

Wow! I'm sure I'm missing out on some really vital and important blessings that could be helping in this life. I SURELY need to supplicate the Lord more. I need to follow Joseph Smith's example. I need to allow that medicine cabinet to be unlocked on my behalf more often. 

I LOVE the Book of Mormon, and I love Joseph Smith. I'm SO grateful that he was so much smarter and humbler than I am. What a difference his actions have made on my life!

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A Little Emergency Prep for the Weekend

I actually started writing this last Saturday. I had great hopes of attaching pictures, but I can now see that that's just not going to happen, so here you go......


This next weekend is General Conference. Part of our tradition this time of  year is to change out our 72-hour kits. I've got some work to do this coming week.

In the past, I wrote a bit about this preparation. Here is a link for you. I thought I might go out and purchase another wheeled garbage can this week. The two we have have never really been enough to store everything we need. And I would, if circumstances around here were normal, but who am I kidding?

Let's just say that I'm relieved that we haven't had to use these kits over the past six months....one of my children, who really had no clue what they are for, just thought I was hoarding snacks in the garage, decided that some of the things in those backpacks were really desirable. Let's just say that if there had been an emergency, the Hess family would have gone extremely hungry.

While I was cleaning out the garage this last time, I pondered about the luggage we have up in the far corner of our shelves. They just sit there nestled inside each other. Actually, one is the massive suitcase that got me into so much trouble in Japan. Ugh! Bad memories. Anyway, I think what I may do this time, until younger kids learn the importance of those supplies, is put our backpacks in those suitcases. The kids'd really have to work to get those down. For the adults, it wouldn't be a problem. Issue solved, no?

In the event of an emergency, we open the garage door, throw open the back of the van, and toss those puppies in. Seems like it would work.

I just have to make sure that the little ones don't see me putting them in there. Then we'll be good for another six months.

So, I've got a bit of extra grocery shopping to do this week. I'll be using the money from the "Emergency Prep" envelope. Now, the debate....milk jugs or Ziploc bags? Here's a helpful link with a great video for this kind of thing. Ziplocs might just be a little too easy to get into for our family right now.

The list for the Ziploc bag idea is a bit different. I'll include that in another post this week, so you can see and follow it if you decide that works better for your family.

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My Heaven-sent Birthday Present

I had been feeling the push to get out and exercise, so last year, for my birthday, I wanted only one thing....a Nike+ Sportband. #1 had one, and I thought it would be so much more encouraging to exercise if I was able to track my progress.

The birthday envelopes limit how extravagant a birthday can be, and I knew this, but that was the ONLY thing on my list.

If you're not aware of just what a Nike+ Sportband is, let me give you a quick illustration.....

image: sportshoes.com

It's basically a watch. You wear the band on your wrist, but there is a chip (I don't know what it's officially called, but for now that will do) that is oval-ish in shape. The chip needs to attach to your shoe in order to keep track of your workout.

image: reodeekay.wordpress.com

They have shoes in which you can place the chip. They have a little compartment under the insole in the actual sole of the shoe. You slide the chip in, and voila. You're ready to go. But, you can also place the chip in a little pouch you can purchase and attach it to your shoelaces.

When you leave on a run, or in my case a walk, you hold down the
button on the band. The chip tracks how far you've gone, how many calories you've burned, and other important information while you exercise.

When you return, you slip the actual watch unit from the band itself and slide the USB into your computer. It reads the information and reports it to you in the form of a graph. It also keeps track of such things as how many workouts you've done during time periods, how far you've gone altogether, and how fast you were moving during your workout.

image: watchreport.com

Can you blame me for wanting one of these?

Well, this was going to cost the entire birthday budget. I would just attach the chip to my shoelaces. That was the plan, but I have to be honest, I was fearful the chip would fall off, and I'd be unable to use the band anymore without going out and buying a replacement chip.

My birthday is in April. I told the Warden my desire in February. In early March, a friend approached me. She said she'd cleaned out her closet and found a number of pairs of shoes, some of which had never been worn. What shoe size was I, and would I be interested in the shoes?

Of course!

A few days later, she brought me a few pairs of brand new shoes. I pulled them out and tried them on. Among these was a pair of tennis shoes. With my goal to exercise, I was very happy for these.

When #1 got home from work that evening, I showed her the shoes I'd inherited. She turned them over and looked at the sole...."Mom, do you know what this means?" She pointed at a symbol on the bottom of the shoe.

It looked like this:

image: thestrengthinside.com

"These are shoes that are set up for a Sportband."

In other words, these shoes I had just so kindly been given had the spot in the sole for the chip. No WAY!

So, here I was awaiting my birthday and a VITAL part of using the only thing I wanted had just showed up. My friend had no clue what I had asked for for my birthday. After talking to her and thanking her for the shoes later on, I shared with her why these shoes were so significant. It turns out that she wasn't aware of just what that symbol meant or that these shoes had that capability.

I had received what I felt were gifts from heaven before. I think with this many chance occurrences that happen in my life, luck is no longer a practical reason for this kind of thing to happen. 

I got the idea that I wasn't the only one who wanted me exercising. 

We went out later and used the birthday budget. I've been exercising ever since.

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What I Learned from Silent "L"

When I was a child, I remember learning how to read. I recall the word "would" showing up on the page. I was a good reader, but it took me FOREVER to learn that word.

As we read in class, I remember my turn to read would come up. Without fail, as I'd hit that word, someone would blurt it out so that I wouldn't have to struggle with sounding it out and take valuable time stumbling over that silent "l." Over and over this happened.

Then, one day, I was sitting at home reading silently to myself. Suddenly, there was a word that held me up. It wasn't a long word, and I knew every letter in it, but I sat there and struggled. I tried to sound it out. I recall slowly sounding each letter out--W-O-U-L-D. I said it out loud, "Would." What word was that? I had never heard a word like that before. I had to have been reading it wrong.

Finally, I figured out that the words around it might help me figure it out. Sure enough. That word was "would!" Pronounced "wood." Got it! It clicked. From that point on, whenever I saw "W-O-U-L-D," I knew that it was pronounced "wood." I never struggled with it again.

You might ask why this is so significant to me now. Why would I even remember something so simple as this? Here is why.....And yes, my explanation will require another little story....

When #1 was about seven, I signed her up for swimming lessons. As she came out of the locker room and headed to the pool, with panic on her face, she shared that she had forgotten her towel.

My first instinct was to tell her to go ahead and go to her lesson. I'd run home and get her towel. I'd be back just in time for the end of the lesson. Something stopped me...."Would" stopped me.

I thought through the scenario....If I "read over it" for her, would she ever learn to "read" it?

Instead of grabbing my car keys and making a run for the parking lot, I chose otherwise. I told her how sad I was that she'd forgotten it, and I wasn't lying. I really WAS sorry. I went and grabbed my seat in the stands and proudly watched my daughter learn a new skill.

At the end of the lesson, #1 came shivering from the pool. She scurried, because "no running" allowed, to the locker room, showered, and clumsily pulled her clothes onto her wet body. Was I sad for her? You'd better believe it. Did I feel guilty because I could have solved her problem? Oh, yes, but again, "would" stopped me.

Sometimes (dare I say often?), teaching our children is painful. Sometimes, just because we are the grown ups and have been there, done that, and have the means to rescue them and thus relieve them (and ourselves) from any amount of discomfort, we feel that that's our duty. 

I was pretty sure that after that, #1"would" never forget her towel again. She had been allowed to have the full experience of "sounding it out" herself. 

Actually, the next week, as we walked through the door to the pool, #1 smiling, proudly, pulled her towel from her bag: "Look, Mom. I brought my towel." I never had to remind her about her towel again. That doesn't mean I didn't have to remind her about other things, but I guess shivering wasn't her idea of a good time, so the towel thing was covered.

I would propose that it is more important for us to use those feelings to react compassionately toward our children. It's in the allowing them to have the full experience. That the true learning takes place.

So, why do these stories pop into my head this morning? Well, as we were heading out the door to school this morning, one of my children started to walk out the front door without shoes or socks on. I noticed, but I said nothing. I knew that within a few steps out onto the deck, he'd figure it out and run back in, but before that experience could teach the lesson, his older brother called out, "SHOES!"

DARN! I guess that lesson will be reserved for another occasion. I "would" think there will be one.

Sadly, though, I do need to add an obvious note here: 

If a child is in mortal danger, for heaven's sake, rescue him/her (Did I really need to add that?). If it is a situation in which the child really can't fix it him/herself (for example, my daughter taking care of her fraud situation while she was heading to the MTC), you will have to step in and take care of things. 

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Good Things Going On

I've been working so long on that cleaning post that I refused to do my gratitude post until it was done. Well, this is long overdue, so here we go....

1. An exercise buddy - I'm getting ready to walk the Portland-to-Coast next weekend. Am I ready? Not even. I'm getting slower with every trip out. Whatever! I'm just going to go for it and hope it all works out. I have a great team, so I hope they'll make up for my lack. Regardless of all this, I have some great workout buddies. One night, #4 went with me on his roller blades. It was my fastest time so far. Other times, #3 has gone with me. We went seven miles the other night. KILLER! It is so fun to go with them. We, by the time we get home, have all the world's problems solved. So GREAT! So glad I don't have to search very far to find someone to go with me.
2. The recent visit of my brother's family - Wow! So many great times this past few days. I was sad to see them leave. There is so much gratitude all wrapped up in that five days, I don't know where to begin. Here's a short list--having cousins spend the night, barbecue with the family, Seaside and lots of time in the sand and the water, Lost Lake and pedal boats, raspberries and gravenstein apples, impersonations in the back seat of the car that had me laughing to the point of tears. This list could go on and on and on. I look forward to their next visit.
   
3. My presidency - Oh wow! These three ladies are SO wonderful! Last night, although we've been planning this for a long time and were hoping to do it to celebrate the year being half over, we met up at Moonstruck Chocolate for milkshakes and held our meeting right there. I love working with these women. Each brings something different to the table, and we seem to complement each other so well. I couldn't ask for better. Being with them is one of the highlights of my week every week.

So, here's the scoop for the day....

• #2 gets his senior portraits taken tonight. We'll be taking a trip out to beautiful Dallas, Oregon to meet up with Julia Shinkle. We love her!
• #5 has a soccer tournament this weekend, but because they've moved him to a different team, I need to go get the appropriate jersey and shorts today. **Sigh**
• I've got to get some groceries.
• I have some articles to finish up.
• Maybe a trip to the fountain is in order for the day as well. It's a bit overcast, but it's still plenty warm.
• I've also set a goal to have each family member write #1 a Dear Elder letter once a week and then write her an email on the weekend. We'll see if I can persuade them to do that.
• I started reading the Percy Jackson series to #5 and Sideways Stories from Wayside School to #6. I'm looking forward to moving to the next chapter with both of them today. Fun times!

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What I'm Learning About Cheerfulness

I believe I wrote in my gratitude post this morning that I've been struggling lately. But seriously, what would life be without struggles, right? Anyway, I took a different stance this morning. I got up and felt the same as I have for days. I decided to pray about the specific things that are concerning me--yet again. There have been no answers lately, but when I got up off my knees, I decided that maybe I needed to keep better track, so this post is a compilation of today's thoughts and lessons. These are the impressions that popped into my mind and heart as I went about today's work.

Looking back now, I'm surprised at just how many answers there were.

I kept my laptop on the counter in the kitchen as I did the dishes and made pancakes for breakfast. As I did something that made me happier, I jotted it down quickly and then got back to work.

The things listed here are what occurred prior to 2:00 this afternoon. After that time, I decided to run the kids to the park and let them run through the fountain. I guess we could add run around and do fun stuff  to the list, but life got to bustling after that, so here's my list of cheerfulness:


A little lesson for myself.....

• Music matters. Something peppy--sing along and sing loud. Dancing's even better.



image: vinylartsa.com

• I decide the weather. It doesn't matter what my situation, but in my home, it is of particular importance. You know the old saying, "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Well, that's true. The converse is also true. If momma's happy, everyone's happy.

image: wobm.com

“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate.It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming” (Haim G. Ginott).

• Appearance matters. Wear something that makes you look good. Today, I wore a blouse and my happy green sweater with the white polka dots. I put my hair up and now I'm in search of some happy earrings.
• Have a routine.
• Pray--on your knees out loud.
• Pray more--in your heart ALL the time. Any time you speak with someone, pray in your heart right before.
• Don't get sucked in. Stick with your routine. Don't get caught up on the small stuff--like finding those happy earrings. If you can't find them, put on a glittery necklace or bracelet and call it all good. Now, on the other hand, if a child wakes up or one leaves the house, leave what you're doing to be there to greet or send him/her off.
• Tell yourself "It's good."
• Keep counting your blessings. When you see something good, cling to it.
• No excuses. Recognize those excuses and rationalizations for what they are.
• Insist that the kids help out. If they've left a mess and you know who left the mess, make sure they clean it up.
• Don't get overwhelmed. Use a timer.
• Don't fall into the habit of yelling across the house for any reason (unless the house is on fire, of course).
• Don't EVER let them see you sweat. NEVER raise your voice. Keep calm and give logical choices.
• Have a list. Prioritize. First things first.
• Know when too much is too much. Don't be afraid to ask for help or delegate.
• Let them handle their own problems, but again, pray.
• Low tones.
• Enlist the energy drain mentality.
• NEVER let a tender mercy pass you by--like those happy earrings that just showed up, literally,

  

  See 'em? Thanks, Gayla!

  on my doorstep. Recognize every little blessing for what it is and give thanks for it.
• Clean as you go. If you make the mess, clean up the mess, no matter how small.
• Surround yourself with happy people and happy things. Don't seek out icky things--I find myself looking at pictures of Ariel Castro's house. STOP!
• Don't return to your bedroom during the day--except to use the bathroom because who wants to use a bathroom where the kids have been? Wow, am I snobbish or what?
• Be nice to yourself. Give yourself a break every once in awhile. But remember, breaks are like dessert, not the main course.
• Be in control--stop something you like doing just to prove to yourself that you can--control the situation.
• Feed your spirit.
• Sing through the jobs you hate--sing even when, and especially when, you don't feel like it.
• Listen to lots of Taylor Swift and as you do so, be SO grateful that the dating days are long gone and that you got the guy you did. Phew!
• Wear an apron to cover those cute clothes--you don't want to have to change.
• Look at everyone who talks to you. Restate what they say to let them know that you're really listening and for clarification.
• Lower your voice. Do the opposite of what your urge is.
• Enforce respect--have little people clean up after themselves, help them/remind them to look into your face when they talk to you.

Inspirational messages of the day:

• "Courage is fear that prayed." --Thanks, Julia!

  

  image: tumblr.com

• "This is a time of faith, not fear" (Ensign magazine)
• "Be not afraid, only believe" (Mark 5:36)
• "Faith, to be faith, must walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness" (Boyd K. Packer)
• "Look up" (Thomas S. Monson)
• "God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face" (Jeffrey R. Holland)
• "Rapids are a part of our journey." They're the best part of the trip and add a sense of

  

  image: movingforward.net

  accomplishment and exhilaration.
• "Answers to prayer and the solutions to our problems generally come as we begin to act, not while we are on our knees praying."
• "There is nothing in this world that can defeat us."

image: fanpop.com

In short, this list is a lesson to me that answers come continually in many ways. If I seek for them, they will be found. And if, next time, I'm not looking in the right places, I can always come back here.

Preparing a Missionary for the Philippines

This post could also be subtitled: "What I'm Learning as We're Going Along."

image: mormonnewsroom.ph

A friend sent me a message this morning. Her daughter will be going to the Cebu East Mission very soon. She asked about everything from Permethrin to umbrellas, so here's how I answered. As I did so, I thought this might not be bad information to share here for others who are preparing daughters to serve in Filipino missions and happen across this blog, so here you go....


My daughter has been a week in the mission field now, but it's just a fact that as the time gets closer to send a missionary off, it gets to the point where there are so many things to think about. 

Permethrin

#1 purchased a big container of permethrin through Amazon. It was a concentrate. I believe she did soak her sheets as well. She ruined one of our measuring cups during this venture, so you may want to purchase one of those as well.

Missionary Moms

If you haven't joined yet, Missionary Moms is a great thing to be involved with. If you want to know more, message or email me.

Power Converter

image: ebay.com

My daughter took a camera with batteries. I didn't send a converter. I'm assuming that if she needs one, a former missionary would have left one behind. That's one thing you probably wouldn't take home with you and when it comes time to leave, believe me, you leave as much as you can. I remember taking home one pair and shoes, the clothes on my back and just a few other things. I bequeathed the rest to those who would follow.

Music

#1 chose not to take her iPod. She didn't take anything music-wise with her. I did, however send her sheet music. She asked for it; no, begged for it. I sent it to her while she was still in the MTC.

Umbrella

I'm sorry to say that I can't remember where we purchased her umbrella. I believe it may have been someplace like Fred Meyer, so it's probably not that sturdy. Being an Oregon girl, I'm thinking that umbrella might just stay packed. Rain is her friend.

Packages

Okay, I need to revisit the package-to-the-MTC idea here for a moment....

image: hip2save.com

I sent #1 two packages while she was in the MTC. The first cost me $16 to send. The second, $22. They were full of all kinds of thingsand were in boxes that you'd purchase cases of paper in. They were huge.

I sent my first package to the Philippines last week. It was dinky. In it, I had placed, two deodorants, a new toothbrush, and a 16 packages of the thinnest pads you can find. Needless to say, this package was SUPER light. The price to ship....$57.

image: postcalc.usps.gov

Last Saturday, just following a baptism, I mentioned this to a woman in the ward who has sent children on missions to Chile and Brazil. She shared that the best thing to do is use a flat rate box, the longer, flatter one. I guess there are two sizes that can be shipped at the same price, but that longer, flatter one (like the size a dress shirt might be packed in), she did the math, is better volume-wise. You can put anything in it up to 20 pounds, and it will only cost $40 to ship anywhere....HaHa, "only."

In the email we received from him, #1's mission president said to use USPS to ship things. So, that's what I'll do next time. My friend also said it takes FOREVER to get there, so Christmas items will need to be shipped by the end of October. #1's birthday is in November, so it sounds like I may be sending a monthly package for the next little bit. Fun stuff!

In short, if at all possible, send as much as you need to while your missionary's in the MTC.

Emails on P-day

For the Olongapo Mission, P-day is Monday. That means #1's emails come in on Sunday night. With the time difference, it was about 7:30pm. They had to go to a town north of where she's serving in order to find an internet cafe, so whatever day P-day is, expect emails at about that time of night the night before.

I happened to be sitting at my computer with my email inbox open, so when her email came through, I was able to respond quickly. We were able to send emails back and forth for a bit before she had to go and get on with her laundry and grocery shopping. It was wonderful and very reassuring. She answered all of my questions. I was happy to learn that she wasn't overly hot (94 degrees but with humidity, 120 and not hot?!), there is no flooding, that they had filtered water and she has a filtered water bottle, and that she had already written her letter to her mission president (something I was TERRIBLE at when I served all those years ago and totally regret).

Technology is Your Friend

Technology being what it is, this really has become an adventure to be shared. A phone call from the Salt Lake airport, flight trackers, and an email from the Mission President the next day have taken a lot of guess work out of the whole experience.

One last important detail...

image: essentialapparel.com

Clothes and Shoes

In our little email "chat" the other night, I asked #1 about her

image: romystyle.com

shoes and clothes. The shoes (Crocs) are awesome, she said, but she took some Shades-type shirts with her. The short sleeves are considered "sexy," so they're inappropriate. She purchased two" very light cardigan-type t-shirt material (I don't know what you'd call them) jackets? Cardigans? at Romy's before she left. She's been wearing those over her shirts. So, she was going out to buy some new tops on P-day.

In regard to those cardigans, one of the last things we were warned about by a friend who served previously in the Philippines, was that sometimes the churches are air conditioned and when you've acclimated to the heat, it's a good idea to have a light sweater or blazer on hand for such cases. Thus the purchase of these cardigans.

There you have it. I'm sure I'm not done learning yet, but if this information can help somebody else out there, so you don't have to make the same mistakes I have, I'll be a happy woman.

Best of luck as you prepare your missionary!

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Goods and Bads for July 14, 2013

Okay, as if my mom asked me, here are my bads and goods for today:

Bads

• Not writing stuff on my calendar. I was doing so good at this, but lately, I've been lousy at it. I knew there was an open house to say good-bye to a wonderful family from our ward, but did I bother to write down the time? NO! We got there, but it was only because #6, who has the mother of this family as his Primary teacher, kept telling us we HAD to go. I finally got smart enough to check with someone (Thanks, Paige) about the time, and sure enough, it had started quite awhile before then.
• Walking into the open house. Just awkward. I feel this way much of the time. I had intended to make some brownies to take, but I had fallen asleep this afternoon (something I rarely, if ever, do. So, yes, we were those people. You know, the ones that show up empty handed. Considering how little time was left when we arrived, I figured maybe it was better anyway. Sure enough, there was a lot of food there.

Goods

• Having friends over this evening to play games. It forced us to straighten our house up a bit, and I also got the brownies made before they came over. It's been so long since we've done anything like this. After we do, I always wonder why we don't do it more often. Such was the case this evening. The conversation was fun, and I even caught myself laughing a few times at the great stories that were shared. Thanks, Kim and Sean. We HAVE to do this again sometime.
• Learning that I may not be needed at day camp tomorrow and that I will get to go on Friday and work with my good friend.
• Once I got warmed up, being at the open house was great. We really have such wonderful people in our ward. I love being around them. Sad to say good-bye to this great family, but glad for the chance to get to. Thank you, Caitlin and Ryan for opening your house. John and Stephanie, we're really going to miss you and your sweet children. Glad that we have blogs and Facebook to keep us connected, so we can watch the kids grow up. Thank you for all you added to our ward.

We also went to choir practice today, and I taught sharing time about family prayer, family scripture study, and Family Home Evening and how these things strengthen families. I challenged the kids to do these things for the next two weeks and gave them a chart on which to keep track. .If they bring it back at the end of the two weeks, they will receive a prize.

Crazy week ahead with EFY for #s 2 and 3, scout camp for #4, and day camp for #5. The Warden's taking the day off tomorrow to be with #s 6 and 7, but if I find I'm not needed, I'll come home after dropping the boys off and the Warden can head back to work. That's what I'm praying for tonight.

Most of us wrote to #1 today as well. That always feels good. I've got a package I've got to get off to her early this week. I have a couple of things to make before I can send it off, though.

#1's Weekly Email: Week #3

This photo sat in my inbox for quite a few minutes before an email showed up. I figured she was writing to someone who ranks higher than her family first....I couldn't, for the life of me, figure out who that might be. Hmmm......

Finally, this showed up:

Ok so I've learned so much this past week.

I realized that the MTC is a lot like the military. They tear you down every single day only to build you up and make you stronger.

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that this mission isn't about me. It's that I can't do anything without the Lord. Alma 26:12 comes to mind. "Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things..." In Tagalog there's a saying that says, "Kaya ko makasama ang Diyos." That means, "I can through God." It's pretty much gonna be my motto for my whole mission.

This week was fun. We all really bonded as a district. We got some newbies. There's 8 new sisters and 16 new elders. So many! But they're all awesome. It's so funny to walk around and look at the elders and be like "oh you're 18 and you're 19 and you look like you're 25." hahah so many of them look like they're 12!

Last night there was a HUGE thunderstorm. It was the coolest thing ever. Our teacher said it was preparing us for the Philippines. We went out and danced in the rain. It felt like home. And I was wearing my Crocs so I got to jump in the puddles. It was the funnest thing ever.

We all went to the gym yesterday and worked out. Sister P. and I did a bunch of workouts for our abs and legs and now it's hard to move. And then this morning we got up and did them again. I might be dying tomorrow. I'm sobrang sore!

Our teacher, Brother C., left class early on Thursday cuz his wife was going to have her baby! She had him on Thursday night at 9:30 pm and his name is Arthur. :) Brother C's probably gonna come back and teach us on Monday and he promised to bring pictures :) It's such a happy thing.

I think I've told you everything. The language is coming slowly but it seems like it's coming. We won't really get it until we get out of here I think.

Ok gotta go.

Mahal kita!

-Sister Hess

***

Q and I sent a few other emails back and forth this morning. I had asked her about a million questions, so she took the time to answer them. I thought some might be fun for her to have for the future, so here are a couple additional things she said:

***

For the 4th we had a devotional (kind of) and watched 17 Miracles. Holy poop that movie is awesome. Go watch it :) And then they let us stay up late and got everyone ice cream and we watched the fireworks outside. It was really fun except all of us were stressing about staying up so late cuz we knew the next day would be terrible. We went to bed by 11 haha so much for staying up late.

We think we're leaving on the 29th but we're not for sure about that and we won't know for sure until we get our travel plans in like 13 days :D  We don't get our travel plans until right before we leave. The districts that are leaving right before us just got theirs. LA to Hong Kong and then staying over night in Hong Kong. That would be sobrang cool!

The passport holder is awesome.

We're learning all the different ways to conjugate things. In Tagalog there are like 10 different ways to conjugate and there's so many different types of verbs. I honestly just sit there and wonder how on earth someone came up with this language. It's ridiculous.

Can you get J's email from L? I kinda wanna write him too and get him to send me that pic of the leiderhosen hahaha

***

J is #1's oldest friend who is currently serving his mission in Austria (the Alpine German-Speaking Mission to be exact). This HAS to be the photo of the week:

Oh, I almost forgot....actually, I did forget....Here are some photos her companion sent: