Training Obedience

#7 has had a few naughty days lately. She's just about to turn three, but at this point, I would say she's mastered the 2s. She wants what she wants when she wants it and she expects everyone else to bow to her will. It's pretty darned obnoxious.

I got to thinking about how we've handled this in the past. I have to admit I've done better with some children more than others. It's had a lot to do with my energy level in a lot of cases.

As I've shared many times before, I feel that a lot of parenting is taking not-so-good habits and training them out of the child--reteaching them good habits in whatever positive way it takes. We've basically tried to teach our children to do the good thing until they can't remember that they ever did the less-good one. Sometimes this takes a long time.

With this obedience thing, it requires a parent to be up and moving a lot. I will ask the child to do something. Lately with #7, it's been responded to with a blank stare, a turning and walking away, or a straight out "no." My mother-by-marriage taught me that "no" is never an acceptable answer from a child to a parent.

So, here's how we, ideally, face any and all of these responses.  We get up, take the child by the hand, and guide him/her to do the thing that was asked.  For example, if the child was asked to pick up a toy and gives the blank stare response, we get up, take the child by the hand, walk the child over to the toy and wait for a few seconds. If the child makes no motion to stoop to pick it up, we then take the child's hands and help with the picking up too. Hopefully the child'll get the point, but I have to admit, there are many times when he/she doesn't.

After the toy is picked up, we thank the child and praise him/her for doing a good job.

The other thing I have to share is that often the child (mine happen to be a bit more on the stubborn side--not sure where they get that), will meet you with resistance--planting feet, crying, etc. I never let these things stop me. I don't get angry, I just become more matter of fact about what the goal is.

I want the child to see that obedience feels good and really doesn't take that long so that as time goes on, he/she will learn to do it him/herself the first time he/she is asked.

So, we're off on the fun adventure. I'm on my feet a lot more these days. Oh how I wish that blowing out those three candles'd end this phase, but I know the truth. I also know, though, that the more consistent I am with teaching obedience, the sooner things'll improve.