I Am

I got stuck on these words earlier this week. They came in this form: "I am an athlete." I have heard these words a lot this past week. Each time I hear them, they get me thinking. It's time to dump those thoughts right here.....

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Having never in my life considered myself an "athlete," this was a difficult one to wrap my brain around. At what point does it become okay for someone to dub him/herself as such? Is there some kind of ceremony that takes place thus officially making you an "athlete?" Does the magic athlete fairy come at night, wave her wand over you, and make you into an "athlete?" Do you just suddenly, one day call yourself an athlete, and your life is suddenly transformed, or does someone else approach you and say, "Wow! You're such an athlete!"?

I mean, exercise makes me break out in a sweat. I think it's an allergic reaction. So, the other aspect of this title is this: when does one decide that he/she wants to become an athlete, or anything else for that matter?

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Is it that, suddenly, one day, someone wakes up and decides, "Today is the day I'm going to become an athlete?" Could I really, even though I hate exercise (oh, and I'm allergic to it), just suddenly decide that that's what I want to be? And if I did that, I guess I'd have to act like one too, huh? Once I've chosen that for myself, can I just instantly call myself one just to think positively and make everyone else think that I am one even though I'm really not?

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Once, a number of years ago, I started running with some friends. There were some of my kids' friends who saw me out running. A few days later, they were over at the house. One of them mentioned seeing me out running and said, "I never would have pictured you to be a runner." A conversation ensued about what kind of exercise they could picture me doing." HaHa! It was actually very funny, and I made the realization that not only do I not picture myself as an athlete, no one else does either. It just really is not something I aspire to.

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I guess what this all leads to is the idea of what I am and how I become what I am. Who can tell me what I am when it comes down to it? After all this thought about becoming an athlete, it's all up to me really, isn't it? I have to decide what I am. After I've decided that, I have to figure out how I picture what that looks like. What do people do that are what I want to be able to say I am? If they do those things and are that, then I need to do those things too to be able to say that that's what I am. Do I have to wait until I accomplish all of those things in order to dub myself as such? I would figure that if I am something, I have to be consistent at those activities in order to be able to continue to say I am such-and-such.

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So, the big question, then, is when am I no longer what I say I am? I've heard that if you exercise and build yourself up to a certain point, which seems to take forever, it only takes two weeks to go back to what you were. If I don't act consistently on those things, can I no longer call myself an athlete, or will I be that forever and ever once I've been one?

Really, all this talk about athleticism is purely symbolic for anything that I want to be able to say that I am. But, there are things that I really wonder about. What do I want to be? How will I get myself there? Is it worth doing all that I need to do and sacrificing all that I need to sacrifice in order to become that? And, when can I truly say that that's what I am?

What I've finally decided--it all starts with those simple words

Whatever follows, no matter what it is, is what I eventually will become.

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