It took getting out of bed this morning to receive the tender mercy that followed. Is that usually the case? Faith precedes the miracle, right?
I have a friend who calls me nearly everyday. I look forward to her calls almost more than anything else that happens during the day. She's just one of those kindred spirits that you can talk to openly about anything. She, to me, is a tender mercy.
I haven't spoken with her for a few days now--probably since last Friday. Life just got busy for both of us. There was also something about a bluetooth and a toilet and a granddaughter, but that's all I know about that.
As I drove around this morning, my cell phone rang. It was her. I suddenly felt like I could just empty my heart and lighten my shoulders. I told her everything that was happening. It was like talking to my mom; although, she's MUCH too young to be my mom, but it was that same feeling of being able to say whatever and know that a compassionate heart was on the other end of the phone. I knew I wouldn't be judged.
She asked me if I had had this child's blood sugar levels checked. Oh my goodness! Why hadn't I thought of this? The behaviors are so cyclical. I can nearly mark time by them. It's always between breakfast and lunch. Lunch is eaten and the wind up continues and then it slowly comes back down. This is definitely something I'm going to check into. This same pattern recurs during the mid-afternoon right before dinner.
I knew God couldn't have been too far away in this. Sometimes it seems like you just have to struggle a bit more so you're aware where the answers are coming from and are really grateful when they do.
I'm not saying the struggle's over. This one has been years in the making, so I'm sure it's going to take some amount of time to undo these habits.
It all started when I was pregnant with #7 and didn't have the energy or strength to deal with the problems. I guess I kind of hoped that the child would work it all out, but that's clearly not the case. I must intervene, and now is a great time to do so. Much of this is just a matter of consistency in dealing with the behaviors. It's not going to be an easy road, but I feel a bit more empowered today. I'm grateful for friends, and I'm grateful for a God who knows what I'm struggling with and provides answers.
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