Overcome and Become

Notes taken from the talk "Clean Hands and a Pure Heart"

by David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles 

The gospel of Jesus Christ allows us to:

• avoid
• overcome
• be cleansed from sin and bad influences
• do good
• be good
• become better

This is done through:

• repentance of our sins 
• seeking forgiveness 

Necessary for our spiritual advancement, remission of sin is vital enough to make a daily priority.

The ultimate purpose of the gospel:

To have our hearts changed by the Holy Spirit to the point that "we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually" (Mosiah 5:2).

This is what we covenant to do. It's not that the covenant (and thus commitment) is made, and voila! I'm perfect. It's merely a commitment by normal, everyday people to try harder everyday and seeking the help of deity in doing so.

Mighty change:

Not brought about through an individual's hard work and/or personal discipline. 

Results from fundamental changes in:

• desires
• motives
• nature 

Only brought about through the Atonement of Christ. 

This is the UPWARD spiral!

The battle of this earth life:

  to overcome sin AND the desire to sin.

To rise above. To upward spiral. To reverse gravity in our spirits. To fly. To soar.

There are two requirements:

(1) avoid and overcome bad 

(2) do good and become better 

"Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place?

"He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully" (Psalm 24:3-4).

Interesting that here, the words "ascend" and "lifted up" are used. 

How does one do this? Here are some of the keys:

• Have clean hands.

   Do good. Seek to bless the lives of others.

• Have a pure heart.

   Pure motives. 

Is it possible to have clean hands but not have a pure heart?

Yes. 

How are hands made clean? 

• By seeking to be unselfish and generous toward others.
• By overcoming sin and evil influences through the Atonement. 

How are hearts purified?

• By receiving Christ's strengthening power to do good.
• By seeking to become better

No matter what we think or feel in our hearts; no matter what our motives are. No matter how good our works are, they can NEVER alone give us the clean hands and pure heart needed to upward spiral.

 There is a missing ingredient: The cleansing and redeeming power  of the Atonement of Jesus Christ! 

This is the ONLY way to overcome sin. 

The Atonement has a sanctifying and strengthening power.

This power helps us become better than we ever could by relying only upon our own strength. 

No one should overlook this power. 

"The infinite Atonement is for both the sinner and for the saint in each of us:"

For the sinner: repentance; cleansing.

For the saint: improvement

How exactly does one do these things? I want a step-by-step, nitty gritty plan for this. I want to know what exactly to teach my children. This is ultimately important. 

Here is the simple answer: 

From the Book of Mormon. King Benjamin taught about the mission of Jesus Christ--His Atonement. What he taught caused the hearers to fall to the earth because "...they had viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the earth. And they all cried aloud with one voice, saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who created heaven and earth, and all things; who shall come down among the children of men" (Mosiah 4:2; emphasis added).

image: lds.org

Is it really that easy? As easy as looking at a brass serpent on a pole? As simple as asking for it? Like asking your mom for a cookie?

Let's look at that again…

"...O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified…."

Is it really that easy? Easy? Yes, but as simple as asking for a cookie? Probably not. Desire and belief must be part of the equation--desire to have sins removed; to be clean and belief in the Savior Jesus Christ and his ability to forgive and cleanse through His Atonement.

Christ's Atonement offers us a twofold blessing:

•  forgiveness of sin = clean hands
•  transformation of our nature = pure hearts


Whenever human nature is mentioned, it takes my mind to Mosiah 3:19 -


"For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father."

Here is my commitment with the covenant I've made:

• "Yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit"
• Put off the "natural man."


Without the power of Christ's Atonement, I remain an "enemy to God," and I have no hope of fulfilling my part of the covenant. 


King Benjamin, in the Book of Mormon, reiterated the importance of these two basic aspects of spiritual development:

"And now, for the sake of these things which I have spoken unto you-that is, for the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God - I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor" (Mosiah 4:26).

What specifically should we seek?

• remission of sins from day to day
• to walk guiltless before God


When I go to be judged of Jesus Christ, I must have more than just clean hands. He is as "a lamb without blemish and without spot" (1 Peter 1:19). He freely spilled His blood for me, but it was wasted if I don't use it by desiring, believing, and asking for the power of this sacrifice to be applied to me.




Is this really attainable in my life? 

No one will be perfect in this life.

How to strive for perfection in this life:

• press forward with faith in Christ 
• find and follow the strait and narrow path 
• make steady progress toward our eternal destiny


How is it done?

•  "line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little" (2 Nephi 28:30).
• Small, steady, incremental spiritual improvements.
• Prepare to walk guiltless before God 


Not from sporadic spurts of intense spiritual activity—consistent behaviors.

This is what's so hard for me. Being consistent in anything is difficult. Fits and spurts are much more my style, but maybe the Atonement can help me with this too--self-control, persistence, consistency of behavior.

The only way to upward spiral.

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What I'm Learning About Cheerfulness

I believe I wrote in my gratitude post this morning that I've been struggling lately. But seriously, what would life be without struggles, right? Anyway, I took a different stance this morning. I got up and felt the same as I have for days. I decided to pray about the specific things that are concerning me--yet again. There have been no answers lately, but when I got up off my knees, I decided that maybe I needed to keep better track, so this post is a compilation of today's thoughts and lessons. These are the impressions that popped into my mind and heart as I went about today's work.

Looking back now, I'm surprised at just how many answers there were.

I kept my laptop on the counter in the kitchen as I did the dishes and made pancakes for breakfast. As I did something that made me happier, I jotted it down quickly and then got back to work.

The things listed here are what occurred prior to 2:00 this afternoon. After that time, I decided to run the kids to the park and let them run through the fountain. I guess we could add run around and do fun stuff  to the list, but life got to bustling after that, so here's my list of cheerfulness:


A little lesson for myself.....

• Music matters. Something peppy--sing along and sing loud. Dancing's even better.



image: vinylartsa.com

• I decide the weather. It doesn't matter what my situation, but in my home, it is of particular importance. You know the old saying, "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Well, that's true. The converse is also true. If momma's happy, everyone's happy.

image: wobm.com

“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate.It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming” (Haim G. Ginott).

• Appearance matters. Wear something that makes you look good. Today, I wore a blouse and my happy green sweater with the white polka dots. I put my hair up and now I'm in search of some happy earrings.
• Have a routine.
• Pray--on your knees out loud.
• Pray more--in your heart ALL the time. Any time you speak with someone, pray in your heart right before.
• Don't get sucked in. Stick with your routine. Don't get caught up on the small stuff--like finding those happy earrings. If you can't find them, put on a glittery necklace or bracelet and call it all good. Now, on the other hand, if a child wakes up or one leaves the house, leave what you're doing to be there to greet or send him/her off.
• Tell yourself "It's good."
• Keep counting your blessings. When you see something good, cling to it.
• No excuses. Recognize those excuses and rationalizations for what they are.
• Insist that the kids help out. If they've left a mess and you know who left the mess, make sure they clean it up.
• Don't get overwhelmed. Use a timer.
• Don't fall into the habit of yelling across the house for any reason (unless the house is on fire, of course).
• Don't EVER let them see you sweat. NEVER raise your voice. Keep calm and give logical choices.
• Have a list. Prioritize. First things first.
• Know when too much is too much. Don't be afraid to ask for help or delegate.
• Let them handle their own problems, but again, pray.
• Low tones.
• Enlist the energy drain mentality.
• NEVER let a tender mercy pass you by--like those happy earrings that just showed up, literally,

  

  See 'em? Thanks, Gayla!

  on my doorstep. Recognize every little blessing for what it is and give thanks for it.
• Clean as you go. If you make the mess, clean up the mess, no matter how small.
• Surround yourself with happy people and happy things. Don't seek out icky things--I find myself looking at pictures of Ariel Castro's house. STOP!
• Don't return to your bedroom during the day--except to use the bathroom because who wants to use a bathroom where the kids have been? Wow, am I snobbish or what?
• Be nice to yourself. Give yourself a break every once in awhile. But remember, breaks are like dessert, not the main course.
• Be in control--stop something you like doing just to prove to yourself that you can--control the situation.
• Feed your spirit.
• Sing through the jobs you hate--sing even when, and especially when, you don't feel like it.
• Listen to lots of Taylor Swift and as you do so, be SO grateful that the dating days are long gone and that you got the guy you did. Phew!
• Wear an apron to cover those cute clothes--you don't want to have to change.
• Look at everyone who talks to you. Restate what they say to let them know that you're really listening and for clarification.
• Lower your voice. Do the opposite of what your urge is.
• Enforce respect--have little people clean up after themselves, help them/remind them to look into your face when they talk to you.

Inspirational messages of the day:

• "Courage is fear that prayed." --Thanks, Julia!

  

  image: tumblr.com

• "This is a time of faith, not fear" (Ensign magazine)
• "Be not afraid, only believe" (Mark 5:36)
• "Faith, to be faith, must walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness" (Boyd K. Packer)
• "Look up" (Thomas S. Monson)
• "God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face" (Jeffrey R. Holland)
• "Rapids are a part of our journey." They're the best part of the trip and add a sense of

  

  image: movingforward.net

  accomplishment and exhilaration.
• "Answers to prayer and the solutions to our problems generally come as we begin to act, not while we are on our knees praying."
• "There is nothing in this world that can defeat us."

image: fanpop.com

In short, this list is a lesson to me that answers come continually in many ways. If I seek for them, they will be found. And if, next time, I'm not looking in the right places, I can always come back here.

Monstrous Waves and Furious Winds

"Some of our struggles involve making decisions, while others are a result of the decisions we have made. Some of our struggles result from choices others make that affect our lives. We cannot always control everything that happens to us in this life, but we can control how we respond. Many struggles come as problems and pressures that sometimes cause pain. Others come as temptations, trials, and tribulations."   --L. Lionel Kendrick

image: fineartamerica.com

I just finished reading in Ether about Jared and his brother and their trip to the promised land. I read that no matter how monstrous the waves became and no matter how fiercely the winds blew, they were thankful.

They were in their boats for nearly a year, but they, that entire time, sang praises and recognized the "multitude of tender mercies" that came their way.

It was the little things, not some huge, life shattering, miraculous event that got them there. It was the little things--the little evidences of God's existence--that brought them through to a better place.

All good things come from God. They recognized that and gave thanks for every good thing that came their way.

So often, I glom onto the bad in my life. What good does that do?

The Jaredites had a huge thing going for them. They knew where good things came from, and they were grateful for them. It mentions the monster waves and the furious winds, but those things, they recognized, drove them to where they needed to be. Had those things not existed, they would have been at a standstill, but the wind and waves never ceased. Never.

image: missaday.blogspot.com

I look at the waves and winds in my life, and I sigh and groan about them. Today, I learned from these people that I'm looking at things in my life all wrong. 

bothareedified.blogspot.com

The Jaredites prayed continually. Of course, they didn't know exactly where their journey was taking them. They were in ark-like boats. They couldn't see a thing. They put themselves in and pushed off. That was it. It was a complete trust thing.

Isn't that life for everyone? Does anyone really know where they're headed? Even when we're headed in a direction that we like, there are so many things we can't control and things that hold back our progression.

I am coming to understand more and more that I (and anyone) can ask for help at any given moment and receive tender mercies even for the smallest things in my life. It's vitally important to remember, though, that those things, no matter how small or how large, are still blowing me and pushing me toward where I need to be. I need to be thankful, continually, for these things, but first, I MUST recognize them.

image: sherriejohnson.blogspot.com

It's my response that matters in this journey being a happy one or a sad one. Seeking to pray for the things I don't like or don't understand and clinging to every good thing no matter how small or large (the multitude of tender mercies) that happen, recognizing where they've come from, and giving thanks for them will make this journey a joyful one. No matter what the struggles may be.

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Remove the Rot

image: csharpprogrammer.com

Once upon a time, about 20 years ago, some friends of ours bought a log house. It was a beautiful home that looked out over a valley. In the distance, you could see three mountains. It was truly breathtaking.

They had the home inspected, as one does before one purchases a home, and everything passed. After they'd moved in, they decided to have it inspected again (this is how I remember it; though, I'm not sure if I'm right). Anyway, I recall that there was a second inspection after they'd closed on the house and had moved in. The results were shocking!

In one of the main walls of the great room, there was dry rot in a number of the logs. The deal was done, the house was theirs. Although there was a court case, they lost, and the repairs were theirs to make.

image: ehow.com

It was hard to believe. Even to the trained eye of an inspector, who had inspected many, many homes, it had gone unseen. The previous owner had sand blasted those logs just to the point that the rot was undetectable. Needless to say, he'd done well in the cover up.

Our friends hired a man to come up to the hill that December. He agreed to brace the remaining, non-rotted walls so that they would stand while the rotting walls could be removed and replaced. He would get just the perfect logs and hand chink them so that they'd fit into the empty space.

This process took weeks, and again, just in case you missed it, it was the dead of winter up on top of a mountain. This could not be avoided, though it was an enormous inconvenience.

image: camryndarkstone.wordpress.com

As I recalled this experience, I found that it has a much deeper meaning. Sometimes we build relationships with people. Some of these are very meaningful and life-changing. We, in a sense, buy a house. These "purchases" bring us joy, and we feel that we're better when we're near these people. We have a new outlook on life opened to our view. We're at the top of a mountain.

As we start a friendship, we build a foundation. As time goes on, it's that foundation that we continue to build on.

image: inspirational-friendship-poems.com

Sometimes, with the twists and turns of relationships, we have to stop and assess. We, in effect, have to inspect this home and make some decisions--is it fit to stay, or is it better to count our purchase as a loss and move on.

image: restorelogs.com

At times, in relationships, we find dry rot. Sometimes, on first inspection, we don't see it. It's been sand blasted just to the point of covering the truth. It's imperceptible. Upon closer inspection, eventually, that rot reveals itself. We have to decide if, in the middle of winter, we're going to take the time and effort to figure out how to remove the rot and replace that wall. Do we have the skills? Are we willing to give it the time needed? Is this relationship worth the inconvenience and discomfort of bracing up the other walls to replace them with something better, sturdier; something that will endure and bring years of security and comfort?

From the other side of the wall, are we willing to brace ourselves and remove our own rot, so we don't have to hide our sand blasting, hoping that others won't find what we're hiding and that we tried to hide it in the first place?

As I pondered on this, I realized that there isn't one of us who is without dry rot, and there isn't one of us who doesn't, from time to time, try to sandblast and cover up our imperfections and mistakes. That being the case, how much dry rot are you willing to endure in others and in yourself? How much are you willing to stand in the cold, while things are braced, and allow the new logs to be chinked and put in place?

image: pacificnorthwestrealty.com

I have to admit, sometimes, I'm not very patient in these kinds of cases. This is sad as I have so much dry rot myself, but those I've waited through and supported have become my strongest relationships. After allowing the repair, I've been invited to sit and enjoy the view.

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Similar Thinking

So, this whole past year I've had little catch words and phrases that have entered my brain and refused to leave. Such things as "upward spiral" and "entropy" and things such as that. I've blogged about many of my thoughts on these topics.

The other day, I was searching on a topic and ran across this article. In the big paragraph that sums up the article with one of its own quotes are the words "downward spiral." Later on, the author mentions entropy. I love it when I run across something that brings what's been going on in my brain together into one place.

Plus, I think this article has so many valid points in it for married couples. Check it out when you have a minute.

A Little Something Learned from the Physics Department

I finally did it! I took some pages of my blog and made them into a book. It's been something I've wanted to do for a long time. It took me two days, and it ended up being around 60 pages long. As I reviewed it, I ran across a few things I'd forgotten about.

image: kneebouncers.com

We had stake conference in April of 2008. At that time, a woman in our stake said something along the lines of pride cannot exist where gratitude is. Those weren't her exact words, but regardless, the idea was what was important.

This morning, I went searching for a quote from a General Conference or something so that I could find the exact quote. I was unsuccessful, but I found a very interesting source of similar information. I found the notes from a discussion that took place among the physics staff at BYU-Idaho. Did you get that? The physics staff. I LOVE that! 

Here is a link to the site where I found it. I've copied portions of it here because I feel that there is much to be learned from it....

  "How do we avoid pride?"
 

• Associating with "different people outside our bubble." Pride is building oneself up compared to others. Reaching out to everyone keeps us humble.  
   
• No one is above another.  Teachers are not any better than students. We are all equal in God's eyes; shouldn't we be in our own eyes too?
   
• We are here to serve. When you serve, it means you love your fellowman and want to see him/her succeed. 
   
• "Keeping an attitude of gratitude will help us avoid getting prideful."  Sometimes we need to step back and remember where we came from and be grateful for just what we have in life.

 

image: lastdaysigns.blogspot.com

The steps of the pride cycle (The physics department only touch on two of these steps, but the other two are pretty self-explanatory):

1st step - Prosperity

When  people prosper and do well, pride creeps in, and we forget the Lord and where our  blessings really come from.                

In reality, with extra blessings comes the responsibility to share more.  Give to others more freely.

Each day, I need to step outside of myself and serve someone else unselfishly. I need to keep this perspective and pray for these opportunities. When I feel that tug, I need to just do it and not question it. 

2nd step - Lifting ourselves above others

As we prosper, we start lifting ourselves above others, we forget, and we even grow to despise those who need us. Remember to praise the Lord, and "recognize how much he helps and blesses us everyday."  When we treat each other this way, "we can more fully feel His love."

 

"The antidote of pride is charity....The scriptures teach that charity has a number of characteristics ([1] Corinthians [13]:1-13; Moroni 7:44-45).  We can tell if we have charity by how the feelings of our heart and our actions match up with the characteristics noted in these scriptures":

• Suffer long - be patient, endure well
• Be kind
• Don't envy or be jealous of others
• Don't brag
• Don't become big headed
• Don't act or think inappropriately
• Be unselfish
• Seek out others that are different from you. Love and serve them.
• Choose not to be provoked by things that might make you angry or frustrated
• Dwell on all the good that surrounds you
• Don't delight in sin or the failure of others
• Be grateful for the truth and seek out more of it
• Believe, knowing that all good things come from God--recognize His hand
• Hope
• Do your best no matter what circumstances you might find yourself in
• Be grateful even in the hardest of times
• Be meek (easily imposed on) - be ready to jump in and help anyone at any time
• Have a "broken heart" and a "contrite spirit" - continually seek to do better than you did yesterday.

 

image: kymberleefenn.blogspot.com

"...Humility is not the only cure to pride, but that charity, or the pure love of Christ, is a better cure...When we exhibit the characteristics of charity, we cannot be prideful.  The two cannot co-exist."  We need to constantly reevaluate our actions and keep things in the proper perspective. 

 

We need to identify pride and its effects in our daily lives.  Work together with and encourage others. Together, we can help each other achieve great things and help others grow and feel the Lord's love as we serve them.  

Of course, I took a lot of the BYU-I physics department's ideas and edited them here, but I thought they were SO good.

I know when I'm being prideful. I feel like I get a little warning in my heart, but I, at times, ignore it and do the prideful thing anyway. I'm going to work on heeding those little tuggings in my heart better.

Putting Up My Own Retaining Walls

After yesterday's experience with my son, I got to thinking about how that relates to upward spiraling (a recurring topic for this past year). Just like all of us, my children are experiencing erosion. The world drags them down. Their own inaction on some things is really not inaction at all, nothing in this world stands still.

I've been thinking about these words, "The natural man is an enemy to God," and I've thought about how what we should be doing here, what will cause an upward spiral in life, will be to fight against our own nature--to try to become more like God--to fight our own selfish desires and strive to help others.

I realized that my purpose as a mother is to help my children and direct them in what will decrease and even reverse the erosion in their lives. I need to help them learn to defy gravity and fly. I need to make sure that I provide EVERY opportunity that will put them in good places to learn and grow.

The example I set for them is one way to do this but another way is to help them set their own boundaries.

image: dmterrill.com

We have need of a retaining wall in our backyard. We've needed it for years, to be honest. With other priorities, this one need has been pushed to the wayside over and over again. So, as you can imagine, the hill of dirt, continues to succumb to gravity. There must be a wall that is well-braced, there to hold the dirt up to keep that hill from hurting our house.

So, the big question....When will I decide that that wall should be a higher priority? When will it reach the top of my list? When will enough be enough? Will I let it get to the point of damaging our home? In other words, when will I hit rock bottom? When I be ready to improve the current situation? Clearly, not yet.

image: kimberlyriggins.com

Since yesterday, I've been thinking about rules, boundaries, and priorities. I wonder, do I have limitations in my life that keep me safe? Are my children aware of my "code of conduct?" Do they see that I do the things I do because I want my life to be better today than it was yesterday, and do they see that I understand that I, in almost every way possible, control that outcome?

It seems that so many in our day don't have these rules. They kind of let nature or karma or fate or whatever you want to call it, control and direct their lives.

image: flickr.com

There was a woman who once owned a cat. That cat was all over the neighborhood. The first time we came in contact with the cat, it was up, nearly a mile's walk away, at the elementary school. Since the street the school is located on is fairly busy, I thought it might not be a great place for an animal to just roam free, so I lured it to follow us. As we went, I asked the people who passed if they knew where the cat lived. We were directed to the street right across from our own. I was surprised at how far she'd wandered.

When we walked the kitten to the door, the woman answered. She explained that whatever happened to the cat would be God's will and opened her door to let the cat in. She thanked us and expressed that because we'd brought the cat home, it must have been God's will. Hmm....Interesting. I had never looked at things that way before.

I believe that there are circumstances in our lives that happen and that there are things that are brought about because they are God's will for us, but if I were to approach life in that same manner, my personality being what it is, I think I would just sit back and wait for life to happen around me. How would I be motivated to do anything if all that happened to me was just God's will?

image: news.bbc.co.uk

Erosion is caused by sitting back and letting it happen. When I first brought the idea of an upward spiral to my husband, he told me about a classroom lesson he'd sat in on just the week prior to that and how they'd discussed the very topic--interesting timing, no? He said that they'd concluded that in order to reverse erosion, something had to be added to it. There had to be something new done to the land or added in to make it stop and improve the circumstances.

In other words, some kind of retaining wall or similar device needed to be added to hold back the erosion, but it was concluded that there was nothing in this world that could really halt erosion altogether.

image: drses.blogspot.com

So, as this year comes to a conclusion, that's what I've finally figured out....There is no way to stop erosion on our own. The downward spiral is inevitable, but each of us, at some point, need to decide where our rock bottom is. We need to, then, reach for something beyond this world. Once we do, the upward spiral can begin and will be as strong as our reach.

As a mother, my job is to help my children decide what their retaining walls will be until they can decide for themselves to reach upward, beyond this world--heavenward. My job is to teach them how, but I need to be doing it myself first.

So, have I decided that enough is enough? Have I hit rock bottom? As soon as I have, I can begin to build my limits so I don't end up at that same point of erosion again. Once my limits are built, it's time to reach heavenward. The upward spiral in my life will be just as strong as my reach toward heaven. That's what I've finally concluded.