Single Mom in the Summer

February 2011

#2's been gone on a scout high adventure for the past week. I've missed him. He's a TOTAL crack up, and I miss his joking around. He's also a huge help around here. Watching him interact with the younger kids is one of my favorite things. He has a special bond with them.

The Warden went to join him on Thursday. I don't sleep well when he's gone, but I think I've finally gotten the single mom thing down to a science. I can do it for a few days, but I can't imagine doing it long term. My hat is off to women who do.

We took a little drive into Tigard yesterday. The Festival of Balloons is on, and I was so hopeful that a few of the balloons had taken off. Sadly, they hadn't. To console us, we drove into Sherwood and stopped in at Sweet Story. I sent #s 3 and 4 in with some money with the instructions to bring back something breakfast worthy....I had woken them and told them to get dressed and hop in the car. They didn't know where we were going. Thus the great disappointment over the lack of balloons.

We got the house cleaned up. #1 made dinner--veggie burgers (not my fave, but I kept reassuring myself that I was becoming more "healthy." We sent the younger kids to bed and watched a movie.

Today they return. I think tonight will be date night. I have a thing for old, greasy spoon, burger joints. I have found THE BEST in the area, and maybe, the best I've ever had. The Warden hasn't been there. I haven't told him anything about it. Maybe it's time.

On our way home from decorating Rose Festival Floats, we stopped in (#2, a friend, and me) just to try it out. We've passed it SO many times. My curiosity finally got to me. The burgers were AMAZING, and we bought an "Elvis"--a vanilla milkshake with bananas, peanut butter and....get this...bacon. My curiosity, again, overcame me. It was SO GOOD! Really. It was. The only disconcerting thing was spooning the bacon out of the remains of milkshake at the bottom of the cup after the shake was all drunk.

Yup. I think the Warden will love the Canyon Grill!

For Me

I thought I'd pull from the topics my friends gave me for today's post:  How often I plan something for myself, and how I pull it off.

It seems, when we have little children, we tend to spend so much time with them and doing for them that we forget who we are.  We put ourselves way down on our own priority lists.  We think we're making sacrifices for them that will someday pay off, but I don't agree with this viewpoint.  I believe in the old saying about the pitcher.  We all have a pitcher and all day long, everyday, that pitcher is used to fill others' pitchers, but if we let our own pitchers become empty, with what will fill the pitchers of others?  Along with that, what are we teaching our children?  What example are we setting?  I believe that we're basically teaching them that we're not important.

I've decided that much of what is considered "something for myself" is a matter of how I view the things that I do.  Since this is the case, I do something for myself everyday.  It's important to know what makes us feel happy and fulfilled.  Some of the things I do are take a bath, read, blog, take a nap, play sudoku, scrapbook, take a long walk or drive, and crochet.  Some of these things are easier to do than others.

One thing I need to do better is spend time with friends.  I love that I have friends who plan girls nights.

I think the key to doing these kinds of things is to either have a very supportive husband or a very close friend who's willing to watch kids so you can get away once in awhile.  In either case, a huge part of the deal is that you'll be willing to watch that friend's children so she can get away once in awhile too.

Another thought is to find a class for your child(ren) at your local parks and rec and have a little time to yourself during that time.  Even just to sit and sip something without children underfoot is fairly heavenly.

I feel strongly that a weekly date with my husband is vital.  One year, I made up a list of 52 dates and then scheduled them into the calendar.  I found many of the ideas online. That was such a fun year.  Each week I'd look forward to what was on the calendar and would surprise the Warden with what I'd planned.  We didn't sit around staring at each other on Friday nights and then just decide to go out and eat.  We tried out different sites in the area and got to act like kids again.

I also believe in getting away with him a couple times a year even if just for an overnighter.  Having older kids is great for this, but again, supportive friends were wonderful when we had little ones.

Someday, the kids'll be gone.  I'm grateful for wise women who have shared the truth that it's important to nurture oneself and one's relationship with one's husband.  I know that someday the only people left in this house will be me and him.  It's good now to keep our relationships with ourselves and our spouses alive and vital so that we don't have to start all over again after so many years.  In doing so, we also teach our children to do the same for themselves.

Interview Day

So, today's the big interview day for American Mothers and the Mother of the Year thing.  I go in at 3:40 this afternoon. 

The Warden and I went out to dinner last night.  He asked me if I was ready for it.  I laughed.  How am I supposed to be ready for something like this?  He suggested that I call someone who's been through it and ask what kinds of questions they ask, etc.  Nah.  I'm just going to go in and be myself and answer off the cuff.  That's all I can do anyway.  Anything prepared just wouldn't be me.

There are five moms and two young moms.  All interviews happen today.

Wish me luck.

So, the tests are done.

Here's how it all went down....

It was true that I could take an 8.5" x 11" piece of paper with notes written on one side with me to the test, so I worked my tail off getting notes together.  What I ended up with was a page of paper in 5pt. font and justified .25"  margins all the way around.  Each sentence fed into the next.  It was HILARIOUS!  When the proctor saw me walk in with it, she asked me if I needed a magnifying glass because she had one in her desk she was happy to lend to me.  I refused it and felt grateful to have relatively good eyes close up still.

The Warden and I packed our things, and he drove me to the testing center.  He sat and waited.  I took the careers test first--20 questions.  I was done in 15 minutes.  I walked back out and got the personal finance test. 

Usually, in the course syllabus, it states how many questions and what kind of questions will appear in the final.  This class did not.  I went in blind--no quizzes or midterms to preface this final.  I hadn't a clue what to expect.

It ended up being 33 questions--all multiple choice.  I'm sure I got a number of them correct but the last number of them were TOUGH!  I'm thankful that I scored well on the term project, so I'm hoping I end up with about a B.

I walked out just glad it was over.

Funny thing was that the testing center was closing for good that night.  My need for using it was over as well, so that worked out nicely.

The testing center is located near a station for the light rail train system.  The Warden and I would be staying at the Marriott Hotel downtown that night for our get-away, so when I got done with the tests, we walked out, got our bags out of the car, bought tickets and boarded the train to head downtown.

We checked in and headed down the street to the Saucebox for dinner.  We had potstickers, egg rolls, salad rolls and Korean ribs.  We spent the rest of the evening just talking and hanging out.  It was so nice.

The next morning, I woke at 5:40.  What is up with 5:40?!  I wake at that same time EVERY morning.  Who needs an alarm clock?  I was able to eventually fall back asleep and slept until 7:30.

We eventually packed up and boarded the train again.  We went to breakfast, did a bit of last minute Christmas shopping and headed home.

It was an ideal way to finish off the stressful class.  Glad to have it all done.  So nice of the Warden to set this all up.  So great to have some time just with him!

At this point, I have one final class to take.  It's a matter of writing a summary paper (and a few other things) to conclude by BYU education.  While we were gone, I tried to look it up to see how much the course would cost, but it wasn't listed in the catalog.  Could it be that they're not offering it any more?  I would absolutely love it if they were to say that I'm all done.  What are the chances?  We'll see when I call them tomorrow (they're closed today).

THE Project

It's date night tonight! 

Not sure what we're going to do, but it may involve popcorn and a movie or it may involve board games and hot chocolate.

The project is almost done.  It currently stands at 123 pages.  This was such an overwhelming undertaking but now that it's almost done, I'm wondering just what it was that intimidated me about it.  Isn't that just like life?

I have to print this out, fancy it all up in a binder with dividers, etc., sign some papers and send it in.  YAY!!!  One more class to go--careers.  Resumes, etc. are in my future.  Maybe I'll even figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

My very last thing will be to write my capstone paper.  Then, I'll be officially done.